Talk:Akhsitan I/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 15:36, 29 November 2022 (UTC)

Happy to review the article.

Review comments

Lead section/infobox

• In the infobox, Farrukhzad I and Shahanshah are named as successors, but it’s unclear why only one of these has a question mark after his name.

Removed the question mark. --HistoryofIran (talk) 11:49, 5 December 2022 (UTC)

Name

• The Georgian Chronicles needs to be in italics.
• the Georgian name Aghsarthan – I would put Aghsarthan in italics (minor point).
• cf. - abbreviations are generally avoided (MOS:ABBR gives general advice here]].

From what I've understood I should link it, which I've just done. --HistoryofIran (talk) 11:42, 5 December 2022 (UTC)

• Consider linking protectorate.

Reign

• Link inscription (Epigraphy).
• The start and end – it needs to be clear here whether you are referring to the dates or the events surrounding these periods.
• "brodnici" – referred to simply as Brodnici (capitalised and no quote marks) in the Wikipedia article, is this not correct?

I'm not sure tbh. This was the transliteration the source used. --HistoryofIran (talk) 23:44, 3 December 2022 (UTC)

We don't have to quote the source exactly—I would amend the text so that it says 'Brodnici'. Amitchell125 (talk) 16:34, 5 December 2022 (UTC)

• This marked the beginning of Baku's rise – is there information about what Baku was like before, was it empty fields, a village, a small town?

Not really as far as I know. I looked into EI2 and Iranica but couldn't really find any information that mentions its size during that period. --HistoryofIran (talk) 15:34, 5 December 2022 (UTC)

• Akhsitan must have survived him – is this assumption made because the poet kept accurate records of rulers? If so, this should perhaps be explained in the article.

Sorry but isn't this already mentioned?; "Akhsitan's death is not mentioned in the divan of the Persian poet Khaqani, which has led the modern historian H. Hasan to surmise that Akhsitan must have survived him." --HistoryofIran (talk) 11:39, 5 December 2022 (UTC)

Understood. AM

• The link to Shamakhi needs to be moved to where it first occurs (in the first paragraph of this section).
• 1203/04 – should read '1203 or 1204', for the sake of consistency in the text.
• his predecessors – ‘Akhsitan's predecessors’, for the sake of clarity.
• The last paragraph has three titles given, but only one is in italics. They all be italicised, or none of them should be.

Patronage

• Link tarkib-band using ''{{Ill|tarkib-band|uz|Tarkibband}}''.

Done for you. AM

• the hub – is idiomatic, and so should be replaced (see MOS:IDIOM).
• However, like during his service to Manuchihr, Khaqani was also imprisoned by Akhsitan - needs to amended to improve the prose, to something like ‘However, just as Manuchihr had incarcerated Khaqani, he was imprisoned by Akhsitan’.

On hold

I'm putting the article on hold for a week until 11 December to allow time for the issues raised to be addressed. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 08:41, 3 December 2022 (UTC)

Long time no see. Thanks for the review, Amitchell125. I hope you're doing well. I'll get to it shortly. --HistoryofIran (talk) 12:48, 3 December 2022 (UTC)

Passing

Passing now, another solid article. Amitchell125 (talk) 16:40, 5 December 2022 (UTC)