Talk:Al-Altan/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: AirshipJungleman29 (talk · contribs) 16:17, 18 October 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Generalissima (talk · contribs) 17:24, 25 October 2024 (UTC)

Ah screw it I'll take this one too. Should be done in the next few days. Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 17:24, 25 October 2024 (UTC)

Thanks Generalissima, much appreciated. ~~ AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 10:55, 28 October 2024 (UTC)

• Lede is solid, and follows LEDECITE with a citation used to clarify the different versions of her name.
• The parenthetical statement in early life might work better as a footnote.
• Later life and death is well-written.
• Are Salindi and Ögünch also potentially sons or stepsons of Al-Altan? If so, it might be better to introduce them all as such at first so the rest of that paragraph seems more connected.
  • I mean yes, but isn't that explicit from "brother"? I didn't want to say "who was either a son or stepson" three times.
• but they did not marry before Genghis's death because Barchuk had a cherished wife at home—the Mongols would have been taken that as an insult! is fun but leans into editorializing a little bit. I would tone it down.
  • :( done
• I don't think as noted above is needed at the end.

Images are both good and properly licensed, with alt-text. Stable and neutral as far as I can see. Source check to come. Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 18:30, 29 October 2024 (UTC)

Source review:

• Atwood p. 456, 416-418, and 363 checks out.
• Broadbridge 2018 cites all check out - except cite 26, which is missing a page number. Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 04:20, 30 October 2024 (UTC)

@AirshipJungleman29: Shouldn't be too much to correct. Generalissima (talk) (it/she)

Thanks for the review Generalissima; just one point above. ~~ AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 11:31, 30 October 2024 (UTC)

Ok fair point on the brother thing. Everything looks good to me. Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 15:30, 30 October 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.