Talk:Alan Moore (war artist)/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 04:19, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

Hi! Will take this one. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 04:19, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

Lead

• Can we add 2-3 lines more here?

Not a must but would be appreciated. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 10:08, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

• The facts in the lead must also have a mention in the main text, and the citations should typically remain only in the main text.

Which facts specifically do think are missing from the main text? The only thing not explicitly mentioned elsewhere is that he was best known for the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp images. But I can't see how to suitably put that "best known" elsewhere, without it seeming artificial. The two refs are explicitly for "best known", hence their inclusion in the lead, per WP:LEADCITE. Mitch Ames (talk) 07:25, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

I see. Thanks for the clarification. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 07:33, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

Early life

• Who is J.S. Watkins? You need to introduce this person.

I suspect he's John Samuel Watkins [1][2], but the Moore references don't say any more than "JS Watkins". Mitch Ames (talk) 07:25, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

We can not add random names. If it is highly probable that it could be him and no one else, you can use this description. If there is too much of doubt then perhaps this can be left as it is. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 07:33, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

It's not a "random name"; it's a name taken from three references. It would be nice if we could provide more information, but we can't yet without WP:SYN. Perhaps someone will find another reference that allows us to be more specific. Mitch Ames (talk) 07:59, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

During the war

• Who is Harold Herbert?

Probably Harold Brocklebank Herbert, another war artist, who was one of the judges that award a scholarship prize to Moore, but the Moore references don't tell us. Mitch Ames (talk) 07:25, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

We can not add random names. If it is highly probable that it could be him and no one else, you can use this description. If there is too much of doubt then perhaps this can be left as it is. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 07:33, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

It's not a "random name"; it's a name taken from a reliable source. As it turns out, a 2nd source says Herbert was also an artist. Mitch Ames (talk) 07:59, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

• Link tropical.

Done Mitch Ames (talk) 07:25, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

• World War II should be linked; it is the first mention in the main text.

Done Mitch Ames (talk) 07:25, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

• the Middle East, Italy, England and Germany Links?

I've linked to Mediterranean and Middle East theatre of World War II, but linking to just a country seems a bit too general, and I don't have enough info to link to more specific articles or sections for those countries. Mitch Ames (talk) 07:25, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

Okay, that should do. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 07:33, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

After the war

• After the war finished "finished" appears redundant
• He tried but failed to sell them --> He tried to sell them but failed
• soldiers, however it accepted --> soldiers; however, it accepted
• The War Memorial now When is "now"?

I've addressed the above (with different wording for "failed to sell") Mitch Ames (talk) 07:25, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

• The last few lines of this section may be merged into one para.

Disagree. The last 3 paras cover war memorial in Canberra, time in Europe, time in Swinburne (which is not in Europe!) - all separate topics. Mitch Ames (talk) 07:25, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

Okay, I see. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 07:33, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

Later life

• Link arthrtis

Done Mitch Ames (talk) 07:25, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

• Where did we mention the 2nd and the 3rd marriages? We skip directly to the 3rd wife.

There's no mention in the refs of what happened to his 1st or 2nd wife, or when he married the 2nd and 3rd times, which makes it hard to include any details in the article. 2nd wife is mentioned but not named in [3], which also mentions "three happy marriages". (Strictly speaking "3rd wife Alison" is actually WP:SYN - he might have had a 4th unhappy marriage in the middle that nobody mentioned.) Mitch Ames (talk) 07:25, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

Thanks for the clarification. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 07:33, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

That should be all. Good luck! Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 04:19, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

The issues have been resolved. In my opinion the article meets the GA criteria. I am happy to promote this. Thank you Mitch Ames Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 10:04, 25 March 2016 (UTC)