Talk:Albert P. Halfhill/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 14:45, 6 October 2020 (UTC)

Taking this review for the GAN October 2020 Backlog Drive. MWright96 (talk) 14:45, 6 October 2020 (UTC)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Lead

• Mention Halfhill was American in the first sentence of the lead

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:36, 6 October 2020 (UTC)

Early life

• "and Lydia Halfhill (née Kingman)." - The Template:nee is better off being employed on the text highlighted in bold

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:55, 7 October 2020 (UTC)

• "Halfhill had two brothers. He was educated in the public schools of Mercer and St. Mary's, Ohio." - consider merging these two sentences together

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:55, 7 October 2020 (UTC)

Career

• "He was a partner with August Decker for a few years in a dry goods business in St. Mary's." - how many years exactly?

•  Done No sources say.

• "He then moved to Van Wert, Ohio. There, in 1875, he purchased a grocery store that he operated with Lester Paterson." - considering merging these two sentences together

•  Done

• "like olive or cottonseed oil." - such as

•  Done

• "Albacore was unattractive and called the "hog of the sea"[1]" - a comma is missing between "sea" and the citation

•  Done

• "called the "hog of the sea" - called by whom?

•  Done

• "with a texture like chicken.[14][2][15]" - refs in numerical order please

•  Done

• " he sold 250 cases (packaged in three-quarter pound cans) of cooked" - cases packaged in 3⁄4 pound cans of cooked

•  Done

• "to a grocery store owner in Los Angeles named H. Jevne.[19] Jevne's employees and customers" - try not to start the beginning of the following sentence like this

•  Done

• "Halfhill used the tagline "chicken of the sea" to promote sales,[20][14][21]" - refs in numerical order please

•  Done

• "The product did not sell well at first," - for what reason?

•  Done

• "It became a successful seller in New York before doing so in California." - it was in California.

•  Done

• "for gathering tuna 200 miles out" - the convert template will need to be used on the text in bold

•  Done

Later life

• "Halfhill is considered the father of the tuna-packing industry." - considered by whom?

•  Done

• "Captain Halfhill (an honorary title bestowed on him by his competitors) retired in 1922." - the text in bold doesn't need to be in parentheses

•  Done

• "His sons Charles and Harry took over the operations" - business

•  Done

• "which then sold about 200,000 cases of tuna," - subsequently

•  Done

• "Halfhill died at the age of 76 on May 7, 1924." - where did he die and what from?

•  Done

Citations

• All mentions of newspapers.com should begin with a capital letter

•  Done

• The name of reference 4's work should be fully wikilinked

•  Done

• Reference 18's page number is B3 not 11

•  Done

• Reference 20 contains the error "Smith 2012, pp. 277ndash;28." which needs to be fixed

•  Done

• Reference 22 is missing the page number

•  Done

• Reference 23 is missing the access date

•  Done

Will put the review on hold to allow the nominator to address or query the points raised above. MWright96 (talk) 17:05, 6 October 2020 (UTC)

•  Working --Doug Coldwell (talk) 17:12, 6 October 2020 (UTC)

@MWright96: All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:48, 7 October 2020 (UTC)

@Doug Coldwell: Now promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk)