Talk:Albie Pearson

Latest comment: 4 years ago by Larry Hockett in topic GA Review
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Pomona Junior College?

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The article currently says he attended "Pomona Junior College", linking to Pomona College. However, Pomona College has never gone by that name and has no associated preparatory school (after 1911), so I would check to make sure there's not some mistake. There's also Cal Poly Pomona, which (unlike Pomona College) is actually in the city of Pomona, CA. {{u|Sdkb}}talk 20:49, 16 August 2020 (UTC)Reply

GA Review

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Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Albie Pearson/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Larry Hockett (talk · contribs) 05:44, 21 August 2020 (UTC)Reply


Sanfranciscogiants17, it looks like you are almost a one-man show right now when it comes to baseball GA nominations, and I appreciate your work. I am looking forward to reviewing this one, as I am not yet very familiar with Pearson's career. I suspect that I will learn many new things. Thank you for continuing to enhance Wikipedia's coverage of the national pastime. I hope to leave some initial feedback by this weekend. Larry Hockett (Talk) 05:44, 21 August 2020 (UTC)Reply

Thanks! I know I learned a lot about Pearson too; that's part of the fun of it. Looking forward to your review! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 11:43, 21 August 2020 (UTC)Reply

I'll leave some section-by-section feedback. I think most of this is just going to be rewording here and there to increase readability. The big stuff seems just fine: Earwig's didn't turn up any significant copyright issues (detected one WP mirror and the direct quotes); the image seems to have appropriate public domain information and a caption; and the article is stable and neutral other than a few things noted below.

Some of these bullets are definitely not barriers to GA status, so feel free to let me know if you disagree with these. After you address this stuff, I may run through and make minor copyedits on things I might have missed the first time.

Lead

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  • The full term Major League Baseball and the acronym MLB appear in the first and second paragraphs; we can just use MLB at the second mention.
  • American League (AL) Major League Baseball (MLB) reads a little bit funny. I wonder if we can just say something like received the American League (AL) Rookie of the Year Award from both MLB and The Sporting News...
  • Disambiguate centerfield in the third paragraph. In my experience, center field and center fielder (two words) are more common on WP than the one-word alternatives.
    • Disambiguated. Since they're both correct, and since the one-word is used more often in this article, I'd rather just leave it at one word. However, I went through and changed every mention of it to the one-word for consistency. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 11:55, 22 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • No hyphen in career-highs (not being used as a modifier in this case).
  • "involved in many Christian ministries" - Could we just say "involved in Christian ministries"? That way we can avoid questions of what constitutes many.
  • Bare URL in the reference for Father's Heart Ranch. Consider moving the reference to the relevant place in the body of the article.

Baseball career

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Minor leagues

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  • "shortage in outfielders" - shortage of

Major leagues

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  • First paragraph - "all year long for Washington" - consider simplifying to "all year"
  • "serious, lingering cold" - I'd find another descriptor besides serious (or just go with lingering); the reader may wonder what made it serious. It seems that it zapped his energy and that he lost weight. Consider linking hernia. Opening Day is overlinked (consecutive paragraphs).
  • Under LA Angels, see "which would be the Rochester Red Wings in 1961". Maybe "Before the 1961 season, the Orioles sent Pearson to their Class AAA affiliate, the Rochester Red Wings." Just something to get rid of the unclear "which would be" and the mentions of both 1960 and 1961.
    • Actually, I think it's more clear this way. In 1960, it's specifically mentioned that the Orioles' Triple-A team was the Miami Marlins, so I felt it was necessary to explain that they were getting changed to something else in 1961. I thought about putting "which would have been," but that wouldn't be correct tense, since it indeed was Rochester in 1961. Since I put "following the 1960 season," I think that sufficiently explains that Rochester did not become Baltimore's Triple-A affiliate until 1961. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:17, 22 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
      • I can understand your rationale. I just don't think "which would be" really gives us the clear sense that it was the first year of the affiliation. If you said, "Before the 1961 season, Pearson was assigned to the Class AAA Rochester Red Wings; it was the first year that the Red Wings were affiliated with the Orioles." then I think it removes that doubt. Still, it's not a sticking point for GA status. Larry Hockett (Talk) 16:08, 22 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "most of the team's starts in right field" - Do you mean that he was a regular starter after that?
  • earned the more dubious distinction of being the first player" - became the first player (more NPOV).
  • "160 games played in" - 160 games played
  • "Pearson's All-Star season saw him" - I would rewrite to avoid an anthropomorphism (seasons don't see). No hyphen again in career highs a couple more times in that paragraph.
  • two ruptured disks - spelling: discs
  • "nine-year career major league career"

Personal life

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  • Roommates with Bo Belinsky and Don Lee - Seems out of place/unnecessary. I had a little bit of a hard time following the theme of the first paragraph, and I think it will help if we take this out. If they were particularly influential on him, that might be worth mentioning in the relevant portion of his major league career.
    • I get what you're saying about this not really fitting in with the paragraph; unfortunately, the way the article is written, I can't really see a better place to mention it. I think it should be left in, though. The sportswriter's felt it was important enough to mention, and it helps readers learn more about the 1960s Angels and how they travelled when they went to different games. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:22, 22 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
      • Reading the source material again, I think this is actually going to be really easy. The writer was talking about how Pearson and Belinsky were so different. Belinsky was a party guy, which contrasted with Pearson's straight-laced behavior; they never quite saw eye-to-eye, it seems. The article says Pearson and Lee were a better fit. You could work in Pearson's golf here (Pearson taught Belinsky golf, but he didn't want to learn pool from Belinsky.) This stuff is really a great fit to demonstrate how Pearson's beliefs seemed to have influenced his off-the-field actions and relationships. Larry Hockett (Talk) 16:08, 22 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • We should mention the location and type of programming for KPRO in the prose.
    • The fact that he was disc jockey covers the fact it was a music station; the source (and the corresponding Wikipedia article) don't seem to specify what type of music. However, I did add the location (and fix the link to actually link to the correct station-thanks for drawing my attention to that!). Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:31, 22 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "I'm a firm believer in the Bible and the Ten Commandments" - This seems unnecessary since we can easily infer his faith from the surrounding information.
    • I'd leave it in. Doesn't take up much space, and it's Pearson's own words on his belief. Besides, it's rather surprising how many ordained ministers these days don't necessarily hold that faith. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:31, 22 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
      • Here's how I think of it: Even among the surprisingly common bunch of active ministers who have lost their faith, they pretty much all still publicly profess their belief in the Bible and the Ten Commandments because it's a job requirement. I can see your point about space though. Larry Hockett (Talk) 16:08, 22 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • Two places in this section have references to "as of mid-2011". Have we looked for updates on these? There may not be any, but I just thought I'd ask. I think most GAs get less attention after being promoted, so this is something that could slide through the cracks and not get updated for several more years.

Job well done. There is a lot of content and it is presented very well. I anticipate that you won't have any trouble addressing this feedback and getting the entry promoted to GA. Thanks again for your work! Larry Hockett (Talk) 06:18, 22 August 2020 (UTC)Reply

Thanks for addressing these items. If you're interested in adding one more detail, I ran across a couple of sources indicating that Pearson was born with spina bifida and suggesting that this predisposed him to the back injuries sustained at the end of his playing career. It's confusing though, because spina bifida presents with a wide range of severity (a big exposed cyst on the back requiring prompt surgery as a baby, versus a totally closed problem that may be detected in adulthood, if ever). I don't see any sources that go into enough detail to make those distinctions.

I'm going to pass this now.

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):   d (copyvio and plagiarism):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  

Larry Hockett (Talk) 16:08, 22 August 2020 (UTC)Reply