Talk:Aleksandar Jovanović Ćuta/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 18:15, 19 August 2022 (UTC)
Happy to review the article to the best of my ability - I do not speak Serbian, but this should not hinder my ability to access the topic.
Review comments
editLead section/infobox
editUnlink member (not needed, as the parliament concerned is linked close by).- I would explain Stara Planina, as readers might not know what is is being referred to here.
- Unlink football (common term, see MOS:OL).
- Introduce Nebojša Zelenović and Dobrica Veselinović.
- Amend 2022 general election to ‘2022 Serbian general election’ for the sake of clarity.
- MP should be written in full.
- Link environmental activist (Environmental movement); coalition.
- British English (“travelled“) or American English (“centered”)? You need to be consistent throughout the article.
- Remove since then to improve the prose.
- Over the period, Ćuta organized protests – amend to something like ‘Ćuta has organized protests’ to improve the prose.
- in order to preserve the nature is not needed and can be edited out.
- In 2021, - the comma is not needed.
Ćuta was the ballot representative of the coalition – I don’t know what this means, it may need to be rewritten.- All Done. --Vacant0 (talk) 09:43, 23 August 2022 (UTC)
1 Early life
editĆuta was born – his full name (without his nickname) is needed here.- Is nothing known about his parents or siblings? It would be unusual if this was true.
- neighbourhood - neighborhood (or neighbourhood) of Belgrade?
- Unlink primary school (common term).
Ref 2 (Popović) gives his year of birth as 1960, not 1996.
More comments to follow. I will cross out those comments that I think are addressed Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 07:49, 23 August 2022 (UTC)
- All Done. There seem to be no information about his parents or siblings. Regarding his date of birth, I don't remember where I got that from although Ćuta was certainly born in 1966 (not 1960 nor 1996). I've moved the National Assembly profile source that backs up his year of birth. --Vacant0 (talk) 09:47, 23 August 2022 (UTC)
2.1 Early period
editImo it would make more sense if the title was changed to something like 2016–2020.- During his youth, Ćuta often travelled to Stara Planina, where his grandparents lived - This sentence belongs in the previous section, surely.
- Unlink thank-you note (common term).
- president – I would amend this to ‘the Serbian president’, for the sake of clarity.
- Introduce Savo Manojlović.
- Introduce Rio Tinto, so that readers know what is being referred to here (perhaps ‘the Anglo-Australian multinational company Rio Tinto’?).
- travelled to – ‘stayed at’?
- "Defend the Rivers of Stara Planina" organization – ‘organisation Defend the Rivers of Stara Planina’?
- in order to post their activities regarding their activism is redundant and can be removed.
- has also been a critic of the Serbian government due to their approaches - ‘has criticized the Serbian government for its approach’.
- I would replace Ćuta with ‘He/he’ after he has been first named in a paragraph, to improve the quality of the prose.
- the decision of constructing – ‘the construction of’.
- were sent a verdict – this makes no sense to me.
- they called for the institutions to react regarding the situation in Rakita – which institutions? What situation? Readers are having to guess what you mean here.
- rejected his request - ‘rejected his demand’?
- the regulations on environmental protection – ‘environmental protection regulations’ sounds better imo.
- scientists, and professors – only one professor is mentioned in Ref 25 (Danas), and he is a scientist, so I would amend this to ‘and scientists’.
- Ref 26 (Balkan Green Energy News) doesn’t seem to mention any call to "revolt".
- The government mortgaged the river in Rakita – This seems a strange thing to do. Could it be explained why this was done? And shouldn't this and the text that follows belong in the following section?
canceled or cancelled?- All Done. I've removed "the government mortgaged the river in Rakita" because that seemed to have occurred back in 2017. --Vacant0 (talk) 09:59, 23 August 2022 (UTC)
2.2 2021–2022 period
edit'2021–2022' would be fine in the title, without including period.- Introduce Linglong Tire.
- I would amend Utisak nedelje show to somethinh like ‘Utisak nedelje, a Serbian political television program’, for the sake of clarity.
- Unlink enemies of the state (see MOS:LINKSTYLE about linking within a quotation).
- Unlink police (unnecessary link).
- The link environmental organizations doesn’t lead to where you would expect it to, and doesn't really seem all that necessary at this point in the article.
- Introduce Nebojša Zelenović.
Why are "Environmental Uprising" and "Action" in quotes (not all organisations in the article are written with quotes around them)?- All Done. --Vacant0 (talk) 10:02, 23 August 2022 (UTC)
3 Personal life
editJovanović is often known and referred by his nickname Ćuta. is mentioned too late in the article, as his nickname is referred to at the start of the first section. I would move the text up there.- Ćuta showed his interest into rock music during his youth, when he learned to play the guitar. He also often played football and chess - This all belongs in the Early life section.
- was married twice – ‘has been married twice’ sounds better imo, as Ćuta is still alive.
- He took part in The Weight of Chains 3 documentary film, which aired in 2019 - Why is this sentence here, as it seems to be more information about his political career? Ditto the whole of the second paragraph.
Unlink green party (it’s within a quote).
More comments to follow. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:40, 23 August 2022 (UTC)
- All Done. --Vacant0 (talk) 10:04, 23 August 2022 (UTC)
4 References
editRef 3 (Priče sa dušom) appears to be a self-published source – what makes you think it is reliable?- I've removed the source considering that the same text is backed up by other sources. --Vacant0 (talk) 10:07, 23 August 2022 (UTC)
5 External links
editFacebook profiles should not be listed in Wikipedia (they have information that cannot be verified, they require registration to access them, and they are social media sites). See WP:LINKSTOAVOID and WP:NOSOCIAL.- Done Removed. --Vacant0 (talk) 10:08, 23 August 2022 (UTC)
On hold
editI'm putting the article on hold for a week until 31 August to allow time for the issues raised to be addressed. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 08:45, 23 August 2022 (UTC)
- Thank you for picking this up. I've amended the article. Vacant0 (talk) 10:09, 23 August 2022 (UTC)
Passing
editGreat work, passing now. Congratulations, Amitchell125 (talk) 11:20, 23 August 2022 (UTC)
- Thank you! Vacant0 (talk) 11:21, 23 August 2022 (UTC)