Talk:Alessandro Del Piero/GA2

Latest comment: 12 years ago by NapHit in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: NapHit (talk · contribs) 18:50, 26 August 2012 (UTC)Reply

  • Lead does not comply with WP:LEAD. There is no mention of his career with Padova or Juventus, instead we have a list of achievements which are not repeated in the rest of the article.
  • "In the year 2000, Del Piero was the world's best-paid football player from salary, bonuses, and advertising revenue." worrying seeing a claim like this in the lead, firstly it has no place being there and it would certainly need a reference
  • No section on Padova, which means the article fails being broad in coverage, as it should reflect his whole playing career
  • Too many usages that are not encyclopeadic for my liking e.g. "...for the Turin giants" this is not presenting a neutral point of view
  • Hardly any mention of his early years at Juventus, instead we just have a summary of achievements during his time at the club, which would be better united being in the lead
  • "without him limping home to a lowly sixth place finish in the league." again this belongs in a newspaper not an encyclopaedic article
  • I'm not convinced the article presents a neutral point of view of the subject. Lead lists achievements he had, and the tone of the article reads very favourably towards Del Piero. There is a mention of a doping scandal, yet no elaboration on this. For me article is neutral in its point of view
  • "Juventus were pooled in Group E alongside Newcastle United, Dynamo Kyiv former champion Feyenoord." poorly written
  • "On 21 October, he scored a wonderful first-time strike from distance as Juve defeated Real Madrid, 2-1, in Turin.[54] In the fifth minute, from open play, Del Piero swerved the ball into the far corner of the goal with a freekick-like shot, giving goalkeeper Iker Casillas no chance. Use of "wonderful" and "no chance" again reads favourably towards Del pier it should neutral. It again reads like it is a piece from a newspaper not encyclopaedia

Looking at the last review, which was last month, the same problems are still evident. The nominator did not seem to heed the advice of the reviewer. The article is nowhere near GA standard, it reads too favourably to Del Piero, and is more akin to a newspaper piece than an encyclopaedic article. GA nomination is not a substitute for peer review, which is where I suggest you take the article. Its needs a thorough copyedit to rid it of sensationalist writing, bias towards Del Piero. Expansion on his early career is needed as the article favours recent events and references need formatting correctly. All these issues were raised at the previous review and have not been addressed, so I'm failing the article. NapHit (talk) 18:50, 26 August 2012 (UTC)Reply