Talk:All Money Is Legal/GA1
Latest comment: 6 years ago by Cartoon network freak in topic GA Review
GA Review
editThe following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 09:04, 2 January 2018 (UTC)
Lead
edit- It peaked at number 45 → I would add "Commercially, it..." for clarification
- Added. Aoba47 (talk) 01:10, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
- Billboard chart. "4 da Fam" made → Billboard chart, while "4 da Fam" made
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:10, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
Infobox
edit- Flawless ;)
- Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 01:10, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
Background and release
edit- in local talent shows throughout New York City → I'm not sure if "throughout" is the right word here
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:12, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
- She joined the → I would add "Amil" here to avoid repeating yourself
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:12, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
- He asked Amil → He also asked Amil
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:12, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
- own lyrics for most of the album → own lyrics for the majority of the album
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:12, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
Composition and sound
edit- thirteen tracks → 13 tracks (numbers above ten should not be written out)
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:15, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
- I don't see ”Heard It All Before” in the album's track list
- Revised as it should just be "Heard It All", which is the fifth song on the album's track list. Aoba47 (talk) 01:15, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
- after stealing another woman's boyfriend → "stealing" sounds unencyclopedic here
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:15, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
- Jay-Z contributed verses to the track → Use "He" here to avoid repetation
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:15, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
Promotion
edit- was released to promote the song.[21] It was featured → was released to promote the song,[21] and was featured
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:23, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
- August 1, 2000, and August 8, 2000 → August 1 and August 8, 2000
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:23, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
- and described the song's as "squelching [and] slithering" → remove the "'s" from "song's"
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:23, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
- had promise as a rapper.[21] On the other hand, a writer → had promise as a rapper,[21] while on the other hand, a writer... (to avoid short sentences)
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:23, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
- I think it is unnecessary to have two paragraphs for one single...
- Combined. Aoba47 (talk) 01:23, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
Reception
edit- The section should be before "Promotion"
- This is not true as this information is tied into the album's release. See what I have done for another album article Pru to see what I mean. Also, I have restored the information that you have removed on the album's release. This is information that needs to be in the article. Also, the information on Amil being dropped from the label following the album's release needs to be in the article. Aoba47 (talk) 01:28, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
- Link "critics" to Music criticism
- It has already been linked in a previous section. Aoba47 (talk) 01:28, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
- she found her personal tracks → do you mean the songs she had written by herself?
- Revised to make the meaning clearer. Aoba47 (talk) 01:28, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
- The album peaked at number 45 on the Top Album Sales → place and "also" before "peaked"
- Added. Aoba47 (talk) 01:28, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
Track listing
edit- Flawless ;)
- Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 01:29, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
Credits and personnel
edit- Flawless ;)
- Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 01:29, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
Charts
edit- Fixed by myself...
- Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 01:29, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
Release history
edit- Fixed by myself...
- Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 01:29, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
Other stuff
editCopy-violation
edit- 54.8% is a little bit heavy... Please revise this!
- That percentage comes from the "Credits" portion of the article, which will naturally have a high percentage of cross-over as the information will always be the same. Aoba47 (talk) 01:32, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
References
edit- As far as I checked them, the references do cover the assertations made in this article
- Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 01:29, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
Outcome
edit- Same nominator, same reviewer, same kind of topic, same quality! This was, as usual, a very interesting reading, and I think you should try to bring this to FA level ! I put the article On hold for 7 days to allow further edits. Best; Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:51, 4 January 2018 (UTC)
- @Cartoon network freak: Thank you for the review as always, and I greatly appreciate your kind words. I will definitely try to bring this up to the FA level sometime in the near future (hopefully this year). I believe that I have addressed everything. Have a great rest of your day or night! Aoba47 (talk) 01:33, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
- @Aoba47: Just to clarify, I haven't removed the information on the album's release, but I just added it to "Background", and thus formed the section "Background and release". You can restore to "Background and recording" and "Release and promotion" if you feel like it is better. I'm passing this! Congrats; Cartoon network freak (talk) 08:10, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.