Talk:Allen Walker/GA1
Latest comment: 8 years ago by Jaguar in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 10:34, 30 May 2016 (UTC)
I'll finish this by today. JAGUAR 10:34, 30 May 2016 (UTC)
Initial comments
edit- "whose hair Hoshino lengthened to create Allen's design" - is this referring to the protagonist of Zone or Walker?
- "However, Allen is also the host of Nea Walker" - what is a 'host'? Might be worth explaining to readers unfamiliar to the series
- "Allen appears other media relating to the franchise" - in other media
- "Several pieces of merchandise have been released in Allen's likeness, including a plush doll, a figurine, clothing and cosplay pieces" - "a" doesn't sound right. Was the only just the one plush doll and figurine released? Might be better rephrasing this to plush dolls, figures (plurals)
- "was included in a CD soundtrack" - on a CD soundtrack
- "Creator Katsura Hoshino notes that she does not know where Allen's concept" - she has a Wikipedia article, so I would link Katsura Hoshino here
- "she dressed Allen and the Exorcists in black cloaks to give off "a gloomy impression."" - consider the use of quotes here. I think it would sound better as a "gloomy" impression.
- "from the series Dragon Ball" - from the Dragon Ball series
- "but lose the position to Kanda again in the fourth" - lost
- No dead links
This article is in great shape, good work with this. Those were all of the issues I could bring up. Once they're out of the way, this should be good to go! 
JAGUAR 12:08, 30 May 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review @Jaguar:. I did all the changes you mentioned. I thought the word "host" was common but still changed it. Regards.Tintor2 (talk) 13:42, 30 May 2016 (UTC)
- Note. Today I'll be busy during the afternoon so I might not be able to fix more stuff until the evening.Tintor2 (talk) 15:54, 30 May 2016 (UTC)
- I've taken another look at the article and this should be good to go now. I think it meets the criteria. Well done!
JAGUAR 18:36, 31 May 2016 (UTC)
- I've taken another look at the article and this should be good to go now. I think it meets the criteria. Well done!
- Note. Today I'll be busy during the afternoon so I might not be able to fix more stuff until the evening.Tintor2 (talk) 15:54, 30 May 2016 (UTC)
