Talk:Andy Bor/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 17:10, 9 April 2014 (UTC)

I'll take up this review as part of the chain of Paralympians submitted in past few days. I mainly focus on copy editing issues. Given the size of these articles the GAR itself should not take too long so I will leave down some initial comments on these articles within 48 hours. Thanks! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 17:10, 9 April 2014 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose quality:

   B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. References to sources:

   It is well referenced.

   B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused:

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

   B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Initial comments

Lead

• The lead is a bit too short - could it be expanded a little to summarise most of the article?
  • Y Expanded. Hawkeye7 (talk) 05:10, 20 April 2014 (UTC)

Personal

• This section is far too short - in its current standing it could not pass the GAN. I understand that getting details on Bor's personal life might be very hard, please could this section be expanded as much as possible?
  • Regrettably, this section is expanded as much as possible. We have no more information.
    • That's fine - don't worry about that as nothing else can be done! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 21:41, 20 April 2014 (UTC)

Skiing

• "In this role, he skies in front of the visually impaired skier and gives him or her direction to get down the course[1] using speakers and a microphone." - ref should be at the end of the sentence!
• "Bor was again Melissa Perrine's guide. She finished 4th in the women's downhill for visually impaired and did not finish in three events" - were those three events in the women's downhill?
  • Y Clarified. "three other events"Hawkeye7 (talk) 05:10, 20 April 2014 (UTC)
• "She was disqualified after the slalom leg of the women's super combined for wearing a visor, which was taped to her helmet, to keep rain from her goggles." - as I said in the previous review, perhaps She was disqualified after the slalom leg of the Women's Super Combined for wearing a visor which was taped to her helmet in order to keep rain from her goggles might sound better?
  • Y Meh. Hawkeye7 (talk) 05:10, 20 April 2014 (UTC)

On hold

While the prose in the Skiing section is good (and not confusing) the major problems in this article are the length of the lead and the Personal section. Once they are both expanded (the lead summarising more of the article and the Personal section containing as much information as possible!) this article will have a good chance of passing the GAN and joining the rest of the Australian Paralympians as GAs! Since this article is short, I could not find any other problems as all the references are in check. I'll put this on hold for seven days at least. Thank you, ☠ Jaguar ☠ 23:12, 13 April 2014 (UTC)

Close - promoted

Thank you for addressing those points. The article is in good condition and now it meets the GA criteria. The prose is very good, all references are in check and the lead summarises the article (respectively meeting WP:LEAD and the GA criteria!). Don't worry about the Personal section, I don't think anyone else would mind this. I understand there is no information, so if anybody questions this I can just say that it is impossible to find any information on Bor's personal life (something very hard to find in most people). ☠ Jaguar ☠ 21:44, 20 April 2014 (UTC)