Talk:Anthony Stolarz/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk · contribs) 00:59, 24 April 2021 (UTC)

I will be reviewing this! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 00:59, 24 April 2021 (UTC)

Lead

• New Jersey needs a comma after it.
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
• Texas needs a comma after it. States are always supposed to have a comma after them (unless they’re at the end of a sentence, or something like that).
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
• No comma needed after 2019 season, since the next clause is not independent (does not have its own subject and verb). Also, should probably be 2018-19 season.
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)

Early life

• ”Stolarz, a New Jersey Devils fan, grew up” – grammatically correct, but since the previous sentence started with Stolarz, might be better to start this one “A New Jersey Devils fan, he grew up”
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
• ”Stolarz was always tall for his age, and began goaltending” – “Always tall for his age, Stolarz began goaltending”
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
• Start the second paragraph differently so two in a row don’t start with Stolarz?
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
• Put a semicolon after Pee-Wee Hockey Tournament; since there are so many commas in the sentence, the semicolon will emphasize the actual break between the independent clauses.
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)

Amateur

• ” In 16 EmJHL appearances with the Hitmen” – redundant, probably just need “In 16 appearances”
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
• No comma needed after record
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
• ”with 3.19” – “with a 3.19”
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
• Need comma after New York
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
• ” starting goaltender, and went” – kind of a run-on sentence. How about “starting goaltender. He went”
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
• ” in the 2013 OHL playoffs” – “in the first rounds of the 2013 OHL playoffs” – helps differentiate this from the subpar performance against Barrie.
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
• ” the Saginaw Spirit, and was” – “the Saginaw Spirit. He was”
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
• ” for the January injury” – “for the injury” – no other one listed to differentiate from.
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
• ” on March 26, 2014 after” – don’t need 2014, since you’ve already shown that we’ve moved into the 2014 calendar year.
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)

Philadelphia Flyers

• After first mention of the Phantoms, may want to add that they are part of the American Hockey League. Then, spell out American Hockey League on first mention.
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
• ”November 27, 2016” – comma after 2016.
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
• ”to a one-year, two way contract” – “to one-year, two way contracts” – way it is now implies that both goalies signed the same contract.
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)

Edmonton Oilers

• This section looks good!

Anaheim Ducks

• ”$1.5 million contract, where he served with John Gibson and Ryan Miller in a three-goaltender rotation” – Since he spent most of the season in the minor leagues, I don’t think we should say he was part of a three-goaltender rotation. How about “$1.5 million contract. He had competition for a roster spot, as the Ducks also had veterans John Gibson and Ryan Miller under contract.”
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
• Don’t bother to mention the preseason opener debut—not really relevant.
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)

International play

• This section looks good!

References

This section looks good!

Kncny11 Great start! Just a few comments; let me know when these are addressed, and I’ll give the article another look! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 11:46, 25 April 2021 (UTC)

Sanfranciscogiants17 Thanks for your review! Now that I'm not drowning in work, all comments have been addressed. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)

@Kncny11 Looks great now, passing. Well done! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 00:24, 1 May 2021 (UTC)