Talk:Arthur Bell (footballer)/GA1
Latest comment: 12 years ago by Sarastro1 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Sarastro1 (talk · contribs) 22:48, 10 January 2012 (UTC)
This looks a very solid article. Just a few minor points and I think an easy pass.
- "amateur local-league football": Would amateur not be enough?
- "left inside forward": Link?
- I assume William Jackson was a rival for his position?
- "consolation goal": Not quite encyclopaedic.
- "Bell played eleven league matches": Should be 11 matches per MOSNUM (although if you have used the word to match "four goals" at the end of the sentence, it could probably stay).
- "In that match, brothers Jack and David Walders played together, the first time Burnley had fielded brothers in a Football League fixture.": Interesting, but I'm not sure it is relevant to Bell.
- "Harold Hardman, who was also a professional architect" To make the significance clear for people like me who forgot that Bell was an architect, maybe say "who, like Bell, was a professional architect."?
- "netted a brace": Jargon. Best to avoid "netted" altogether. Ditto brace.
- "he netted a consolation": Jargon.
- and retired from football shortly afterwards": Although I know the answer is "no", do we know why?
- "A left-handed batsman who often batted in the middle order": His batting position is not really supported by the reference. As it stands, you may be better calling him just a left-handed batsman. Unless you want to create a note and list a few scorecard refs in there to support it; two possible ways are to look at note 2 on Herbie Hewett or ref 34 on Wally Hammond. If you can be bothered!
- You also need a ref for the 2nd XI matches for Lancs apart from against Staffordshire. Either ref the scorecards, or the other way (which I use as it gives scores, etc) is to use this page for your reference.
- No images (I imagine there aren't any available) and links, dablinks fine.
- Online refs check out, I was unable to check the book ref.
- As the Simpson book is referred to several times, I would suggest a "Bibliography" section (or whatever you prefer to call it) and place the book in there instead of in ref 3.
- It would be nice to know more about him, but I imagine little or nothing exists.
I will pass once these issues are discussed or cleared up. --Sarastro1 (talk) 22:54, 10 January 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review, replies below:
- changed to just "amateur football"
- linked inside forward
- noted that Jackson was also an inside forward
- removed "consolation" throughout
- I wrote "eleven" to match the "four" but I could change them to "11" and "4" if you prefer
- True, think I just got carried away with the trivia of it
- added "like Bell"
- I used "netted" to avoid repeated use of "scored", but agree that it is perhaps unencyclopaedic. Changed "netted a brace" to "scored twice"
- Added a note from the Simpson book for his retirement reasons
- Just called him a left-handed batsman
- Added the Player Oracle reference
- There is an image of Bell in The Clarets Chronicles but I assume it's copyrighted and I have no means of scanning it anyway
- Moved Simpson book to a new Bibliography section
- Just let me know if you find anything else that needs fixing. Cheers, BigDom 13:48, 11 January 2012 (UTC)
Everything looks fine, passing now. --Sarastro1 (talk) 18:38, 11 January 2012 (UTC)