Talk:Arthur S. Carpender/GA1

Latest comment: 12 years ago by Ian Rose in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Ian Rose (talk · contribs) 04:20, 18 January 2012 (UTC)Reply

Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 04:20, 18 January 2012 (UTC)Reply

Toolbox
Structure
  • As Early Life is just a short para, suggest moving it into the Early Career section (leaving the latter heading as is).
  • Rather than finishing off with the short-short Death section, suggest changing its heading to Later Life or Postwar Years and move to it the last couple of lines from WWII, modifying slightly, e.g.

    Carpender’s last military assignment was as Coordinator of Public Relations in the Office of the Secretary of the Navy from 28 May 1946. He retired on 1 November 1946,[1] with tombstone promotion to the rank of admiral.[2]

Prose/detail
  • Aside from my usual copyedit, just one point: in "naval Examining Board", is "naval" part of the Examining Board’s name and should therefore be capitalised?
Referencing
Supporting materials
  • I suppose there are precedents in US military bios but I’d certainly prefer to lose the rank insignia –- they’re not standard/required in bios as a whole (I’d be happy to lose the flags too but they’re ubiquitous).
  • I wonder about putting "(Australia)" after the CBE. I realise the Australian government must’ve recommended him but it was surely still up to the British government to actually appoint him, given it’s an imperial honour.
  • Not that it’s a requirement, but there’s no alt text on the main image.
  • I assume there's no other images of him available but any chance of a relevant picture or two in WWII, say of ships or fleets associated with him? Even one such image would break up that wall of text...
Summary
  1. ^ Cite error: The named reference Navy3 was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  2. ^ Cite error: The named reference Ancell&Miller was invoked but never defined (see the help page).