Talk:Atlantic blue marlin/GA1
GA Review
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Hi, I'll be reviewing the article this weekend. Sasata (talk) 21:14, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
This articles has several major issues that need to be dealt with (mainly involving fixing prose, a potentially laborious process), so unfortunately I'm going to have to fail the nomination. Please feel free to renominate once these areas have been addressed. Sasata (talk) 07:09, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
Taxonomy and naming
editThe Latin origin needs a citation;machaera is also a Greek word, apparently.Also, tell me about nigricans, as it is more important to have the etymology of the specific epithet than the genus name (since it's an article about the species).
*Wikilink billfish and perch so a reader can easily get to these articles.
Consider ordering the synonyms either alphabetically or by date of author year, rather than randomly (at least it seems random to me).
Reference 2 gives other common English names, why not include those as well? I think its interesting that a common name is "ocean guard", but wouldn't have found that out from the article.
Physical description
editI found this section difficult to read, and very difficult to visualize the fish you were describing. A nice diagram would works wonders here. Something like the picture in reference 5, but labelled.Specifics:
Two dorsal fins are mentioned, but how are they positioned with respect to each other?Side to side, i.e. laterally? 10 inches apart medially?One fin is called the first, and the other is the second, but I wouldn't be able to identify them if there was a Marlin in front of me, after reading the article.All I can tell from the dorsal fin article is that they are on the back, so that doesn't help me much.
- I think this is done now. There is a good descriptic picture and it shows only two fins on the back. --Ettrig (talk) 21:27, 21 February 2009 (UTC)
There are specifics about the exact numbers or rays each fin has - this should be given a source.Also, what exactly is a ray?How long is its bill?
- I added total length from the same source and measured the bill with a ruler on a full screen projection of the drawing. --Ettrig (talk) 22:15, 21 February 2009 (UTC)
Where are the 15 rows of stripes located?
"Each of which has round dots and/or thin bars." —this is not a complete sentence.
Clarify the phrase 'drawn out' with respect to the scales
What is a "lateral line system"?
The entire section is choppy, with little variation in sentence structure. Consider using commas, dashes and other appropriate grammatical elements to combine sentences and improve flow.
Please elaborate on the Marlin's ability to rapidly change color. The sentence "The coloration is a result from exposed iridophores that are mediated by adrenergic stimulation." certainly needs some explanation.::Iridophore is redirect to chromatophore, which is a featured article. Here is a wealth of interesting information, from which a glimpse could be incorporated in the present article. --Ettrig (talk) 23:25, 21 February 2009 (UTC)
Migration
editPlease wikilink the names of locales you mention, so I can see for myself how much of a swim it is to the Caribbean Islands and Venezuela and the Bahamas. Or, give approximate distances—reference 9 says the fish travels 7000 miles, surely this is notable?
Range
editWikilink tropical and temperate.
Why is there a space between the value and the ° symbol when referring to temperatures, but not latitudes?
- was just looking through the MOS (under Unit symbols and abbreviations), and noticed that the way you were doing it was correct, so disregard this last comment :) Sasata (talk) 05:02, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
When talking about the habitable temperature range of the Marlin, I'm unclear if "surface temperature" refers to the T of the water at the surface, or the air above it.
- "
It will swim through school of fish at high speeds, slashing at fish with its bills" - awkward and grammatically problematic.
Is the picture of a tuna really necessary? It doesn't add any relevant information to the article. Also, the Latin name in the caption should be italicized.
Predators and parasites
editThe Marlin "only" has 28 species of parasites? To a guy that doesn't know anything about fish (me), that seems like a lot. Either give better context, or take out the qualifier "only".
Many of these parasites mentioned have their own articles and should be linked. I can visualize how a tapeworm would parasitize a Marlin, but a cookie-cutter shark? Does it hang out in the Marlins cracks? Take bites at it when it swims by? More detail would be appreciated.
Reproduction
editInstead of writing "Atlantic blue marlins have planktonic young.", extend the sentence to briefly say what planktonic means so I can read the article without having to jump elsewhere to find out.
"The caudal peduncle and caudal fin are clear. " Cool. What's a peduncle?"The young may grow as much as 16 mm in a day." Define young. Also, define juvenile later.
I don't know what to do here with young and juvenile.--Grander13 (talk) 02:18, 23 February 2009 (UTC)
- I think this is a request for specific age ranges in days/weeks/months. If those are not known, then these words are still useful information, even if not very exact. --Ettrig (talk) 19:17, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
Okay, thank you --Grander13 (talk) 20:32, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
Wikilink the locales mentioned, so I can see where to hunt for Marlin larvae.
Is it possible to put the dense thicket of information about gonads weights into some kind of table for easier comprehension? The entire paragraph is reworded from reference 4, but is still too technical for the typical wikipedia audience.Why is the reference to Makaira mazara in this section? How about instead a new section for this,and also describe differences between the related Makaira indica
Economic importance
editWikilink bycatch, longline fishing, sashimi
"However, it does have commercial value throughout the world." What does it refer to? The Marlins? If so, shouldn't it be they?
Citation needed in sentence describing landing tonnage in the year 2000. Also, what is meant by landings?
"The Atlantic blue marlin has become a highly sought, prestigious catch for recreational fishermen on rod and reel because of its rarity and excitement." Do you mean the fish get excited? Or that it is exciting to catch them? If the latter, give a citation, or else it seems POV.
Conservation
edit"the Japanese and Cubans" I think it would be more appropriate to say "Japanese and Cuban fishermen" or something along those lines.Give me a citation for the low survival rate of released fish.
Other:
*The Fishbase page needn't also be in the references if it's already explicitly given in the notes section (i.e., no need to link to the same outside page twice).
The article could really benefit from a better photograph, it's not possible to see many features of the Marlin when it is partially submerged in water, as in the current photo.
- I think the drawing that is there now is fine. --Ettrig (talk) 22:12, 21 February 2009 (UTC)
- There are some typographical errors throughout,
such as missing spaces after periods.
- I went on a lookout, but couldn't find much at all. Suggest that this is left without further action. --Ettrig (talk) 19:19, 24 February 2009 (UTC)