Talk:Baleen whale/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 12:43, 1 March 2016 (UTC)

I am interested to review this. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 12:43, 1 March 2016 (UTC)

Lead

• I think the name taken as the article name, Baleen whale, should come before Mysticeti.

done

• The etymology of Mysticeti looks clumsy in the lead. It need not be added there.

moved to Etymology section

Don't remove the mention of the scientific name completely, it should still be there in bold after the main name. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 05:09, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

re-added

• Link cetaceans, vertebrae, critically endangered

done

• which is also the largest creature Could the wording be a bit clearer like "the largest creature on earth", that would be more attractive I guess.

fixed

• They exhibit sexual dimorphism. This is a short sentence that can be easily included in one of the other lines.

I don't see anything wrong with sentence size variation. Should I still continue?

This is a common point raised at FAC, though. Choppiness may be pointed out if there are short sentences (such as Baleen whales have two blowholes), and then you have to reword it all to make it look better. This article has a great potential, so I felt we could set it straight now itself. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 02:55, 2 March 2016 (UTC)

I have fixed this issue for your convenience. Not a major change, though. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 04:46, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

• baleen whales can swim very fast Can we have an idea of its speed?

fixed

Please mention this in the main text as well and remove citations from the lead. Other editors have told me this time and again. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 02:55, 2 March 2016 (UTC)

done

• Do we need caps and even links for "Northern and Southern Poles"?

Yes on caps, links are questionable though. Should I get rid of them?

Looking at this once again, I believe we need to keep back the links, as this is a major habitat of the species of this order. The reader may like to know more about the poles. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 02:55, 2 March 2016 (UTC)

• in the water, mating, giving birth How about "... in the water - breeding an molting..."?
• relatively long period of time how long? I presume this is in comparison to other whales.

fixed

• humpback whale Which whale is this?

The humpback whale is a species of whale

Can we link it? It would not be a duplink, I hope? Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 02:55, 2 March 2016 (UTC)

It's already linked once in the Taxonomy section. Should I instead wikilink it in the lead?

There is no trouble if the links from the lead are repeated in the main text. The trouble is when links are repeated within lead or main text. Done with this. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 03:47, 3 March 2016 (UTC)

• "pygmy right whale" is linked twice.

fixed

Etymology

 Done Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 04:48, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

• Link taxonomic name, Greek, Latin

fixed latin, but greek should be directing to the Ancient Greek article rather than the Greek language (the two are apparently vastly different)

Sorry, I failed to notice it. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 03:10, 2 March 2016 (UTC)

• " Rice 1998" is a weird way of putting a source. Instead, you could identify the author and add the year as normal words.

So it should read "Rice, nineteen ninety eight,..."?

Let me clarify. You should use my tip elsewhere as well. I searched for the "Rice 1998" article on Google to know who Rice is. Now I can write "which D. W. Rice (of the Society for Marine Mammalogy) in his 1998 work assumed was an ironic reference to the animals' great size." This may not be an issue at GAN, but is certainly one at FAC. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 03:10, 2 March 2016 (UTC)

done

Taxonomy

 Done Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 16:26, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

• Link baleen plate, plankton, families, Balaenidae, Balaenopteridae, pygmy right whale, gray whale, blubber - it is their first mention in the article

fixed (All except "plankton" were wikilinked on their first mention)

• and are more streamlined than Balaenids. Rorquals...Balaenid exist. Source?

added

Seems the Rorquals...Balaenid exist. part is still unsourced. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 03:23, 2 March 2016 (UTC)

• Link or explain "dorsal"

Where it says "halfway up the dorsal side"?

I see, you explain it here "a dorsal ridge (knuckles on the back)". No need to link. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 03:23, 2 March 2016 (UTC)

• Sasaki and Nikaido, Alexandre Hassanin and Anne Ropiquet need to be identified

There was originally a ref right next to them but I changed it to what was done with Rice 1998

As I explained above, you just need to fetch the author info. It looks clearer and interesting. In such cases you should write (I searched for info on the authors and found this) :

• such as the one by Takeshi Sasaki (of the Tokyo Institute of Technology) and colleagues,...
• In a 2012 review of cetacean taxonomy, Alexandre Hassanin (of the Muséum National d'Histoire Naturelle) and colleagues suggested that...
• According to a study done by H. C. Rosenbaum (of the American Museum of Natural History) and colleagues...

done

• 4 extant genera say "four"

fixed

• Duplinks: humpback whale, fin whale, Sei whale, Bryde's whale, Eden's whale, the blue whale, common minke whale, Omura's whale

I kept the ones that were first mentioned in the long list of extant species

• Link baleen in the first line.

done

• Could the font size of the cladogram be increased a bit? It appears clumsy now.

I'll see what I can do

done

• pygmy right whale in the last para needs a link.

done

• Some lines, such as Mysticetes are also known as baleen whales due to the presence of baleen, Balaenids are also known as right whales due to whalers preferring them over other species; they were essentially the "right whale" to catch shift focus from the taxonomy. Why not include them in a new para under Etymology that discusses vernacular names?

done

• This is a suggestion. You can separate the description details into Anatomy. Taxonomy is generally not the place to discuss these things.

Well, I thought that Taxonomy would also include how these families are different from each other and how to tell them apart. In the case of baleen whales, it is largely feeding behaviour

Hmm... You may add a sub-section like "Differences among families" to Taxonomy, somewhat similar to what I and another user have done in the GA Wildebeest. It would be loads better for the readers. Mainly morphological and habitat details are to be added; the rest may be here or in comparisons in other sections. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 02:39, 3 March 2016 (UTC)

done

• Another suggestion. It would be great if you could add a horizontal gallery featuring the four families, one pic for each.

I'll see what I can do without cluttering the article with pictures

done

• are thought to be genetically and physiologically dissimilar. Sounds vague. Any evidence why this should be so?

I think I fixed it but you might want to check it

Better. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 02:39, 3 March 2016 (UTC)

• A general line or two at the start of Taxonomy like "Baleen whales are cetaceans that constitute the parvorder <a word or two to explain this, I could not find any link> Mysticeti" gives an easy and reader-friendly start.

done (I wikilinked parvorder)

Thanks. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 02:39, 3 March 2016 (UTC)

• If you go alphabetically, should the order in which descriptions are arranged be: Balaenidae (right whales), Balaenopteridae (rorquals), Cetothriidae (pygmy right whale), and Eschrichtiidae (gray whale)?

done

I think you missed it, I will go ahead to rearrange it... Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 02:39, 3 March 2016 (UTC)

• Two genera and nine species of rorqual are known to exist Should be added to the para on the taxonomy of rorquals.

done

• "Rorqual" is linked much later.

Balaenopteridae redirects to rorqual, and is already wikilinked. I removed the wikilinks on "rorqual"

• They recommend that the genus Balaenoptera... the blue whale, and Omura's whale. There is a repeated and have...and have structure, could use semicolons to cut out "and".

I think I fixed it but you might want to check

Evolutionary history

 Done Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 17:12, 4 March 2016 (UTC)

• Link incisors, canines, molars, premolars, rostra, primitive, dental formula, maxillae, mandible, Miocene, tectonic, palate

done

• Janjucetus had baleen present in its jaw I think "present" is redundant

fixed

• with species like Mammalodon You mean "species like those of Mammalodon"?

no, Mammalodon was a genus (with one species)

• It is thought that size and baleen dependence are linked Could we clean up the "thought to be" vagueness? How exactly are they linked?

rewrote

• The caption "Llanocetus skull" needs some italics

done

• Originally thought to be Llanocetus, Fucaia buelli is the earliest mysticete The meaning seems unclear here. Was Fucaia buelli thought to be a Llanocetus species or were Llanocetus species thought to be the earliest mysticetes?

fixed

• dating back to 33 mya Either link mya or expand it.

mya is already wikilinked earlier

• Like other early toothed mysticetes, F. buelli had heterodont dentition. Other early toothed mysticeti or "archaeomysticetes" from the Oligocene... Could be better worded as Like other early toothed mysticetes or "archaeomysticetes", F. buelli had heterodont dentition. Archaeomysticetes from the Oligocene... Just to remove repetition

fixed

• Mammalodon, "suction feeding" and "Oligocene" are linked on second mention.

fixed

• Does suction feeding have a hyphen? You use it at first mention but not in the next

fixed

• but it is largely thought that they I think you should say "generally believed".

fixed

• and are thought to have lived This and the following lines can be reworded so that we do not come across "thought to" so often in the article. Could be "probably lived" or "are believed to have lived"

done

• Balaenopterids got bigger during this time I think "grew" is better than "got"

fixed

• The Eomysticetidae had long I think you should say "The eomysticetids".

done

• Duplinks: benthic, plankton, Oligocene (third mention)

done

Anatomy

 Done Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 16:44, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

• "Thought to" is repeated throughout

changed three of them to "believed to"

• Baleen whales range in size from the 20 ft (6 m) and 6,600 lb (3,000 kg) pygmy right whale to the 112 ft (34 m) and 190 t (210 short tons) blue whale, which is also the largest creature on earth. Where is this fact mentioned from the lead?

I'm confused what the question is. This is said in the lead

Actually all facts mentioned in lead should also have a mention in the main text. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 17:12, 4 March 2016 (UTC)

fixed

• a study done in 2014 --> A 2014 study

done

• Link dolphin, cranium, enzymes, blood vessels

done

• Rorquals, needing to build speed to feed "that need to build speed"

That would imply that some don't have to (all of them have to build speed)

• a small dorsal fin relative to its size --> a dorsal fin small for the whale's size or a dorsal fin small relative to its size

I have never seen it used like that. How about "a small dorsal fin, relative to its size,..."

Better. I have added it. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 17:12, 4 March 2016 (UTC)

• "oral cavity" is linked here, but should be linked in the preceding section where it is mentioned first. Same for mandible

done

• where it meets a three-chambered-stomach Should "meets" be "enters"?

done

Senses

 Done Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 16:44, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

• Link pupil, lens, retina, pheromones

done

• Baleen whales have a small, yet functional, vomeronasal organ Contradiction need not be implied; small organs are not typically non-functional. But correct me if they indeed are generally non-functional in whales.

Toothed whales do not have a vomeronasal organ

Could this fact be explicitly stated in the article? Not everyone knows this. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 17:14, 4 March 2016 (UTC)

added

Diving adaptations

• Link lung volume

done

• What is sacculated shaped? I guess "shaped" is redundant?

sacculated shaped means sac-like. Should I change it?

Yes. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 17:15, 4 March 2016 (UTC)

fixed

Thermoregulation

 Done Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 17:04, 4 March 2016 (UTC)

• Do you link or explain "blubber" anywhere?

fixed

Migration

 Done Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 17:02, 4 March 2016 (UTC)

• Sea of Okhotsk is a duplink

done

• It is also postulated By whom?

added

Foraging

• All baleen whales are carnivorous, however a study done in 2015 --> All baleen whales are carnivorous; however, a 2015 study

done

• They then must decelerate I think it is "then they"

fixed

• Why do we give the common names of families in this section when we already have them in Taxonomy?

so replace Balaenopteridae with rorqual and Balaenidae with right whale?

I mean you mention just the scientific names, lest it should look like you are identifying the families for the first time.

Fixed

• Duplinks: copepods, benthic

fixed

Predation and parasitism

 Done Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 16:56, 4 March 2016 (UTC)

• Unless killer whale is already linked, a link might be useful here.

linked in the Migration section

• Link parasite

linked in Taxonomy section

Reproduction and development

 Done Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 16:56, 4 March 2016 (UTC)

• Blue whale is a duplink

fixed

• Link sexual maturity

fixed

• Instead of "/", you should say "per".

fixed

• there is a 2-to-3-year calving period. In right whales, the calving interval is usually 3 years Numbers in words

done

History of whaling

 Done Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 16:54, 4 March 2016 (UTC)

• Which countries are being linked and which not?

Germany was not linked; fixed

• whalers, namely the Americans and Australians Should it be "American and Australian whalers"?

Wouldn't that be redundant?

• Link Inuit, Arctic Ocean

done

• Japan is linked twice

fixed

Conservation and management issues

 Done Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 16:54, 4 March 2016 (UTC)

• Link Endangered at first mention

done

• " North Atlantic right whale" could be linked here if not linked elsewhere

linked in the lead. Should I continue?

This can be done. I have done this for you. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 17:19, 4 March 2016 (UTC)

• Japan has had two main research programs: JARPA and JARPN. Can these be expanded?

done

• Can scientific whaling be linked or explain?

done

• permanently forbid whaling South of the Equator "S" in caps?

fixed

References

 Done Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 16:06, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

• I think refs. 118, 115, 107, 98, 51, 40, 11 could be formatted better

I don't see it. Could you explain more?

In 118, 115, 107, 98 we could mention the news agencies. 40 and 51 need to mention the publisher. We typically leave the name out rather than say "unknown". Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 05:05, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

done

• URL not need for ref. 109. It anyway leads to PubMed

Usually for journals the url is not given because only the Abstract is given (without any subscription fee), but for 109 the entire article is available for free so I added the url

Oh, then it should stay. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 05:05, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

• Ref. 104 may be unreliable. I got the warning that connection to the website might be insecure. I received similar warnings for ref. 68 and 56

For all url's, I changed "http" to "https" which apparently does not allow you to go to certain websites. I'll fix the ones mentioned and I'll go through the other refs for more

• Some editors have told me that Animal Diversity Web (ref. 1) might not be reliable; it is edited mainly by university students and takes its info from other comprehensive books and journals.

I had some doubts too but I found this on the Fin whale article, which is an FA-class article, and I thought it was reliable

Better be on the safer side, you use this ref. alone for giving the speed which is an important point. This may be troublesome. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 05:08, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

added another ref

• You need italics for the binomial name in ref 12

"Histoire évolutive des Cetartiodactyla (Mammalia, Laurasiatheria) racontée par l’analyse des génomes mitochondriaux", I don't see a binomial name in this ref. It loosely translates to "History of evolution of Cetartiodactyla (Mammalia, Laurasiatheria) and analysis of mitochondria genomes"

Sorry, I meant ref. 18 Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 05:05, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

It's already in italics

• There are incomplete citation templates in some refs

Where?

This follows from the first point I raised. Moreover, we have instances without the "location" (refs. 13 and 15). Not very serious for GAN but I would like to do my best for this article. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 05:05, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

added (but I don't see why that was necessary)

Could not leave an issue out after having noticed it. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 16:34, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

Remaining issues

Thanks for all your cooperation till now. For your convenience, I have listed the remaining issues below:

I already did these but I guess I forgot to respond to them.   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  03:36, 6 March 2016 (UTC)

Diving adaptations:

• What is sacculated shaped? I guess "shaped" is redundant?

sacculated shaped means sac-like. Should I change it?

Yes, say "sac-like". Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 17:15, 4 March 2016 (UTC)

done

Foraging:

• Why do we give the common names of families in this section when we already have them in Taxonomy?

so replace Balaenopteridae with rorqual and Balaenidae with right whale?

I mean you mention just the scientific names, lest it should look like you are identifying the families for the first time. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 16:34, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

done

@Dunkleosteus77: Thanks for remaining patient and friendly throughout the review, I am sure the article is in a much improved state now. All issues raised by me have been addressed; I believe the article meets the GA criteria now. I would be happy to promote this. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 04:11, 6 March 2016 (UTC)