Talk:Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Glimmer721 (talk · contribs) 19:31, 12 November 2011 (UTC)

Comments

• "After he takes Bart and his friends on an unauthorized field trip that does not go well, Chalmers gets fired." I would reword this to something along the lines of "After he takes Bart and his friends on an unauthorized field trip which results in one of the children breaking his arm, Chalmers is fired."
• Wikilink season four the first time it is in the Production section, and unlink it the second time.
• "Kricfalusi explains that "On the Simpsons I wanted to try moving the characters in crazy fun ways, not just looking funny each time they come to a stop" Please capitalize "The".
• "Digitial Arts Magazine" should be italicized if it is a real magazine.
• "Kricfalusi revealed that he would have taken a different approach to the animation, if he were to animate the entire episode." Comma not needed.
• "Primarily, the animation would be so slower paced than it was in the 35-seconds-long segment." Why "so" slower? Also, I think it should be "35-second-long" instead of "seconds".
• "The couch gag was fast paced, because he had to make room for all of his ideas" Comma not needed. Also, I would say "The couch gag was done at a faster pace because..."
• Ah, here we are again: "It finished before The Cleveland Show and American Dad!, but after Family Guy." To make this clearer, say that, in Nielson 18-49 demographic ratings, the show finished higher than The Cleaveland Show and American Dad! but lower than Family Guy.
• I believe "cross-over" is one word. I also recommend wikilinking it
• "The Simpsons episodes that strive to have a little heart without going overboard are generally going to work better than the random-gag episodes, at least at this point in the storied history of The Simpsons, and [the episode] has enough wee little heart to see this episode through"...why "the episode" and then "this episode"?
• "Amid Amidi of Cartoon Brew calls the opening revolutionary and explains ..." Called and explained, keeping with the past tense.
• With the references, make sure the publishers are only italicized if they are a print source (for example, Cartoon Brew, Television Blend, and Oology aren't)

Other than that, the article is good. Great job! Glimmer721 ^talk 19:31, 12 November 2011 (UTC)

User:Maitch wrote this great article but I went ahead and fixed all your issues! Thanks for reviewing! :) Theleftorium ^(talk) 11:34, 13 November 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for stepping in. I've made a few more minor changes and will now pass this. Glimmer721 ^talk 17:44, 13 November 2011 (UTC)