Talk:Bartholomew of Exeter/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 23:59, 11 June 2022 (UTC)

I will review, comments to follow in due course. Zawed (talk) 23:59, 11 June 2022 (UTC)

• Lead: He became bishop of Exeter...: shouldn't bishop be capitalised here given the context? It is in the first sentence of the lead.
• Lead: ..., but after Becket's death although he was frequently at...: Something doesn't read right here - perhaps delete the "but" and have the sentence start at "after"?
• Early life: presumably it would be there if it was known, but do the sources say anything regarding when he arrived in England?
  • Nope, I double checked, but nothing... Ealdgyth (talk) 14:11, 17 June 2022 (UTC)
• Early life: After Becket's murder,...: I can understand why it is mentioned here but chronologically it does not sit well with me. Could it be shoehorned into the Time as bishop section e.g. "After Becket's murder, his former clerk, John of Salisbury, was sheltered by Bartholomew. John subsequently became..."
• Early life: link synod
• Early life: in the article on Exeter Cathedral, Bartholomew is listed in the burials section as Bartholomew Iscanus; this suggests an alternative name that should be mentioned.
  • This article was first "Bartholomew Iscanus" but I can find no sources that list this as an alternate name for him. Nothing, not even Oliver give that name - frankly, I don't know where it came from. Ealdgyth (talk) 14:11, 17 June 2022 (UTC)
• Election to Exeter: can "see of Exeter" be linked? Also link Gloucestershire
• Election to Exeter: Theobald had wished to consecrate Bartholomew before Theobald died,...: for sake of flow/clarity, suggest "Theobald had wished to consecrate Bartholomew himself,..." and then add a short sentence at the end to the effect "Theobald died before the king returned from Normandy".

• Doesn't seem to have been actioned? Zawed (talk) 10:51, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

• I changed it to "Theobald had wished to consecrate Bartholomew himself before Theobald died, but could not because the king was abroad in Normandy and the bishop-elect had to swear fealty to the king before he could be consecrated." which I thought improved the clarity without having too many short sentences.. Ealdgyth (talk) 13:40, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

• Time as bishop: the first mention of "dispute" should link to Becket controversy

• I meant dispute - the word "Becket" is used three times in that sentence as it now reads. Zawed (talk) 10:51, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

• I really dislike doing WP:EGG links like "dispute" so it now reads "During the Becket controversy between King Henry and Thomas Becket, the new Archbishop of Canterbury, Bartholomew refused to cooperate with either side, which caused the archbishop to scold him as a bad friend.", which has the advantage of making the change in archbishops clear. Ealdgyth (talk) 13:40, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

• Time as bishop: link Sens, Roger of York, Henry the Young King, Tours
• Time as bishop: Henry the Young King in 1170,...: suggest "Henry the Young King that year,..." to avoid the close usage of 1170 in successive sentences
• Death and legacy: suggest combining the first two sentences, they are both very short.
• Sources appear to be of good quality but Barber needs state added to the location for consistency with the other US citations
• Image tag looks OK

That's it for me. Zawed (talk) 09:45, 14 June 2022 (UTC)

Sorry for the delay - I should get to these this afternoon or evening.... the weather has been ... wild up here. Ealdgyth (talk) 14:27, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

I replied above on the two issues that I didn't resolve. Ealdgyth (talk) 14:11, 17 June 2022 (UTC)

A couple of replies above. Zawed (talk) 10:51, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

Replied above - and thank you for the review! Ealdgyth (talk) 13:40, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

OK, this looks good to me. Passing as GA as I believe that the article meets the necessary criteria. Zawed (talk) 00:31, 19 June 2022 (UTC)