Talk:Battle of Lake Pontchartrain/GA1

Latest comment: 12 years ago by MathewTownsend in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: MathewTownsend (talk · contribs) 01:22, 18 January 2012 (UTC)Reply

I will start this review shortly. MathewTownsend (talk) 01:22, 18 January 2012 (UTC)Reply

  • This article is very hard for me to understand because it deals so much in specifics. If the general reader is not already familiar, in depth, with the situation, then I believe it's hard to understand. I think it needs some general statements to set the stage now and then.
  • I think this is a well written article, but very dense. Some sentences are unclear.
lede
  • Not a summary of the article - it should orient the general reader to the overall picture and the general happenings and outcome.
  • "American Revolutionary War" ... here it should say who exactly the two parties fighting were. (This is a major point.)
  • "between" - the reader expects to learn "between who" instead of the two towns, although that is important too.
  • "Spanish-American crew" - meaning some Spanish citizens and some Americans?
Background
  • "quietly supported by the Spanish governors and often mediated by Oliver Pollock, a prominent New Orleans businessman." - not clear from this sentence what the significance of this is. - (later he is mentioned in another section and it turns out he has military power)
Prelude
  • "The boat never returned." Is the next sentence an explanation of what happened to the "boat"?
  • "Pollock had given command of the Morris to Continental Navy Captain William Pickles." - Pollock had this kind of power?
  • "Gálvez provided another ship for Pickles' use" - why him?
  • "Pollock instructed Pickles to harass British military shipping" - then Pollack again?
  • Maybe some explanation (somewhere - not necessarily here) how the French were involved?
References
  • should put {subscription only) after Oxford Dictionary of National Biography reference, JSTOR etc.
  • link to The Times-Picayune reference doesn't go to article put to current main page.
Thanks for your insightful comments. I think I've addressed your major points, except:
  • why Pickles: umm, because he has the commission, and his ship was destroyed? (Presumably Pollock was also involved in procuring the replacement ship, but this is to me a minor point.)
  • French involvement: I believe Rousseau was a French Louisianan. Even though Louisiana was under Spanish governance then, its population was mostly French. France was not involved in events in this area.
  • The link to the Times-Picayune article worked once upon a time, but they seem to have dropped pre-2009 material. I've converted the citation to {{cite news}}.
--Magic♪piano 15:03, 20 January 2012 (UTC)Reply

GA review-see WP:WIAGA for criteria (and here for what they are not)

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose: clear and concise, correct spelling and grammar: 
    All problems fixed!
    B. Complies with MoS for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:  
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. Provides references to all sources:  
    B. Provides in-line citations from reliable sources where necessary:  
    C. No original research:  
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Main aspects are addressed:  
    Has placed the battle in context.
    B. Remains focused:  
  4. Does it follow the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:  
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:  
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:  
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail: