Talk:Battle of Marshall's Elm/GA1
Latest comment: 4 years ago by Gog the Mild in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 20:12, 26 November 2019 (UTC)
I'll have a look at this one. It may take me a couple of days to get to it. An odd question: As I assume that this is headed straight for at least ACR, would you like me to do a "straight" assessment against the GAN criteria? Or give it the works and check over everything as if it were at FAC? Gog the Mild (talk) 20:12, 26 November 2019 (UTC)
- I'm always happy for the most critical review possible, so be as picky as you like. All I would say, given how busy I am at the moment particularly, is that if there is anything non-essential for GA that is likely to be time-consuming, could you mark it as such? Harrias talk 22:02, 26 November 2019 (UTC)
I have done a little copy editing, which you will want to check.
- "Facing musket fire from the hidden dragoons, and being charged at by the Royalist cavalry, they were routed." Nothing wrong with this for GAN, but is perhaps a little clunky for FAC.
- You are right, but I'm struggling with an alternative at the moment; I'll come back to this. Harrias talk 10:14, 28 November 2019 (UTC)
- Not an issue for GAN.
- Consider linking militia.
- Linked. Harrias talk 10:14, 28 November 2019 (UTC)
- "and was central within the area" Central has several meanings. Would it be possible to briefly indicate which one you mean?
- Added "geographically". Harrias talk 10:14, 28 November 2019 (UTC)
- "and the strong Parliamentarian views held by those nearby" Those what nearby? 'and the strong Parliamentarian views held by the majority of Somerset's rural populus' or similar perhaps?
- Changed mostly as suggested, but substituted "population" in for the Latin "populus". Harrias talk 10:14, 28 November 2019 (UTC)
- "a role in which he had been amongst those responsible for training and leading the county's militia" I am not sure that is grammatical.
- It's awful, that's what it is. I've tried rewording it. Harrias talk 10:14, 28 November 2019 (UTC)
- Better.
- "Parliament" or "parliament"?
- I just toss a coin. Hopefully this is consistently upper case now. I've gone back and forth on this, but I think that because I'm essentially using it as shorthand for the Parliament of the United Kingdom, it is a proper noun. What do you think? Harrias talk 10:14, 28 November 2019 (UTC)
- Suggest inserting sigfig=1 into your convert templates.
- I think that it's Parliament too. But I am not sure enough of my ground to argue over it, so simply ask for consistency.
- Used "|0" instead. Also made it consistent whether I spelt out single digit numbers. Harrias talk 10:14, 28 November 2019 (UTC)
- "while Captain Sands brought a further from South Petherton" Something missing?
- I don't know what you mean! Added. Harrias talk 10:14, 28 November 2019 (UTC)
- "Pyne had orders to bring the troops to rendezvous with Strode in Street." 'a rendezvous'?
- It can be a verb or a noun, so as a verb, I think this works? Harrias talk 22:05, 27 November 2019 (UTC)
- Yes it's the bringing "the troops" to rendexvous that doesn't work. 'Pyne had orders to rendezvous with Strode in Street.' is fine. Pyne had orders to bring the troops to a rendezvous with Strode in Street.' is fine. The mix you have isn't. IMO
- I've reworked this slightly, how is it now? Harrias talk 10:14, 28 November 2019 (UTC)
- Fine.
- I've reworked this slightly, how is it now? Harrias talk 10:14, 28 November 2019 (UTC)
- Yes it's the bringing "the troops" to rendexvous that doesn't work. 'Pyne had orders to rendezvous with Strode in Street.' is fine. Pyne had orders to bring the troops to a rendezvous with Strode in Street.' is fine. The mix you have isn't. IMO
- "just south of Street" It would be helpful if "just" could be quantified. (1½ miles?)
- Changed to "just over one mile (2 km) south of Street". Although Street is very strung out, so it really depends where you are measuring from! Harrias talk 10:14, 28 November 2019 (UTC)
- "the Royalists had the advantage of coming down off the Poldens" How or why is that an advantage. (I assume that you mean militarily?)
- Clarified as "had the advantage of higher ground, coming down off the Poldens." Is that sufficient? Harrias talk 10:14, 28 November 2019 (UTC)
- It's fine for GAN. I may, or may not, want to poke at it at ACR.
- " On top of the seven killed at the battle" " On top of" → 'In addition to'?
- Yes. Changed. Harrias talk 10:14, 28 November 2019 (UTC)
- "Despite their defeat at Marshall's Elm, the Parliamentarians were gathering more men around Wells" This doesn't really flow. Maybe something like 'the Parliamentarians continued to gather men around Wells'?
- Much better, changed. Harrias talk 10:14, 28 November 2019 (UTC)
- A couple of your "p."s should be 'pp.'
- Think I've caught these. Harrias talk 10:14, 28 November 2019 (UTC)
- Edgar: I don't think that there were ISBNs in 1968.
- And yet, it has one. Something about SBNs getting adopted as ISBNs or some such. The technicality doesn't matter, the fact that it correctly identifies the book is all that matters, and it does. Harrias talk 22:05, 27 November 2019 (UTC)
- Fine, as you say. I didn't check, just assumed. Live and learn. Gog the Mild (talk) 22:18, 27 November 2019 (UTC)
- Map caption: Perhaps 'Location of Marshal's Elm within Somerset'? or '... of the battle'?
- Changed to "Location of the battle within Somerset" Harrias talk 10:14, 28 November 2019 (UTC)
Nice one. I enjoyed that. Gog the Mild (talk) 21:08, 27 November 2019 (UTC)
- Thank you for the review. I've responded to each point above; mostly in agreement, sometimes with a query, and sometimes a combination of the two. Just the Siege of Sherborne Castle to do, and then this little piece of the Civil War is wrapped up. Harrias talk 10:14, 28 November 2019 (UTC)
- You seem to have covered everything, so I am promoting. Looking forward to seeing your next project. Gog the Mild (talk) 12:31, 28 November 2019 (UTC)
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