Talk:Battle of Plum Point Bend/GA1

Latest comment: 1 year ago by Zawed in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 06:49, 25 April 2023 (UTC)Reply

I will take a look at this one. Zawed (talk) 06:49, 25 April 2023 (UTC)Reply

Lead

  • ...guarded by an ironclad be further...: is the "be" supposed to be there?
    • Rephrased. The grammar made sense in my mind, but that doesn't mean much
  • Confederate vessels:...: I think the colon should be a comma?
    • Yes, corrected
  • The Federal ironclads had lighter drafts than the Confederate vessels,...: I don't think lighter is quite right when referring to draft. Shallower would be better but that is used later in the sentence, so how about " The Federal ironclads had a reduced draft relative to the Confederate vessels,..."?

Background

  • In the first paragraph, the phrase "In February 1862" is used twice.
    • Fixed
  • Captain Charles Henry Davis had taken command of the Federal squadron on May 9.: there is no antecedence for the squadron, was this the ships that ran past Island No. 10's defences or the naval ships of 12 April?
    • I've rejigged this section to clarify that the Fort Donelson, Island No. 10, and Fort Pillow Federal fleet is the same unit
  • with the rest of his fleet upriver;...: suggest "with the rest of Davis's fleet upriver;"
    • I've rephrased this sentence, so the issue is no longer in question (this applied to both Davis and the prior commanding officer, so I have now named)

Battle

  • ... fire another volley in the Confederate ship.: suggest " fire another volley into the Confederate ship."
    • Done
  • ...; this time the fire came from Carondelet.: the "this time" seems unnecessary since the previous sentence already refers to Carondelet.
    • Done
  • The Federal vessels had lighter drafts than...: same comment as the lead.
    • See reply above

Sources

  • Sources appear reliable, the majority are university presses.
  • I did a spot check based on the online source (cite 1); this checks out OK, AGF on the others.

Other stuff

  • Image tags OK
  • Dupelinks: 'Memphis, Tennessee', USS Benton, USS Pittsburgh, USS St Louis
    • Should be all resolved

I made a few little tweaks as I went through the article, but otherwise that's it for me. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 10:14, 28 April 2023 (UTC)Reply