Talk:Bebenhausen Abbey/GA1
Latest comment: 4 years ago by Eddie891 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Eddie891 (talk · contribs) 21:52, 24 August 2020 (UTC)
I will review this shortly... Like tomorrow? Eddie891 Talk Work 21:52, 24 August 2020 (UTC)
- Prose comments
- "The complex was named a historic monument in 1974." can you be any more specific about the type of monument?
- I cannot, unfortunately. The text in the cited source for that is "Der gesamte Ort Bebenhausen steht seit 1974 unter Ensemble-Denkmalschutz", or "The entire borough of Bebenhausen has been under monument protection since 1974." –♠Vami_IV†♠ 20:56, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
- you say " protected monument" instead of 'historic monument' in the body
- "The monastery was established in the late 12th century first by the Premonstratensians and then by the Cistercians." How can something be established twice?
- Changed to "The monastery was established in the late 12th century by the Premonstratensians, but was ceded to the Cistercians in 1190." –♠Vami_IV†♠ 20:56, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
- " brief role in post-World War II" link WWII
- "especially favored by its Kings for its location in the Schönbuch. Württemberg's first king" inconsistent capitalization of 'king' I'd personally suggest lowercase should be used except for when saying the full title or right before a name. See MOS:JOBTITLES
- Link WWI
- "but the Premonstratensians
thenabandoned" - " In response, Rudolph granted the Cistercian project the freedom of not recognizing a vogt in mid-1211" why? Also maybe clarify 1) what a vogt is, 2) whether this was a big deal, or something Rudolph did all the time 3) was the freedom starting in mid-1211 and continuing indefinitely or only for a short period of time in 1211
- I've added a clarification of what a vogt is. I have no idea why even Rudolph granted this privilege to Bebenhausen. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 20:56, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
- "would be consecrated " -> "was consecrated"
- "would flourish" -> "flourished"
- "t paid the highest dues to the" how does this indicate flourishing? For all the reader knows, maybe the Bishop really didn't like this abbey and wanted to punish it
- Changed to include specifically what that due was (a sum called a procuratio that was to cover the Bishop's expenses). –♠Vami_IV†♠ 20:56, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
- link Rule of St. Benedict
- Done –♠Vami_IV†♠ 20:56, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
- "130 at Bebenhausen in the 13th century, with 80 choir monks" were the 80 included in those 130, or was it a total of 210
- Total of 210; I have added the word "another" to the sentence. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 20:56, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
- "there would be only" -> were only
- "56 choir monks and six" per MOS:NUMNOTES "Comparable values should be all spelled out or all in figures"
- Changed "six" to "6". –♠Vami_IV†♠ 20:56, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
- "another 14th century addition by abbot Konrad von Lustnau" It's unclear what was the 14th century addition-- the refectory or the turret
- Oops. Shortened "another" to "a". –♠Vami_IV†♠ 20:56, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
- "despite Imperial representation" what Imperial are you talking about here?
- The Holy Roman Empire. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 20:56, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
- "Ulrich would also, in 1537, demolish the church's nave and recycled" -> "In 1537, Ulrich demolished the church's nave and recycled"
- "During the Thirty Years' War, t" wanting of a year
- My attempts to find a specific date have been in vain. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 20:56, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
- "From that retreat, Frederick celebrated his 58th birthday held several days of feasting and hunting," 1) I think a word is missing between 'birthday' and 'held' 2) what year was this?
- Fixed. I somehow neglected to give the date, 9 November 1812. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 20:56, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
- " also spent his autumns at Bebenhausen" I don't see a mention of anyone else spending autumns there
- Removed –♠Vami_IV†♠ 20:56, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
- "including Emperor " of what?
- Clarified. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 20:56, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
- "military headquarters" -> "the French military headquarters" or just "their military headquarters"
- " A total of 118 meetings were held in the winter refectory from 3 June 1947 until the state" is there any more detail?
- All that I can offer is that these meetings were plenary sessions.
- Anything else between '52 and 2017? was it a museum?
- I presently do not know, but just found a source that may help. I'll have to translate and analyze it. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 20:56, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
- "was completed in early 2020" were completed
- "Staatliche Schlosser und Garten" what does this refer to?
- Fixed To the relevant managing organization. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 20:56, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
- "The award ceremony for a competition hosted by the government of Baden-Württemberg was held on 6 July 2020 at Bebenhausen Abbey, with prize grants distributed by Peter Hauk, the State Minister for Nutrition and Rurality." seems rather trivial to me, does it really merit a mention?
- Removed Probably not. I was just looking for something to fill out the 21st century. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 20:56, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
- un-link Guest house and hospital probably, seems they are overlinking
- ". It was typical for Cistercian churches, being dedicated to the Virgin Mary and consisting of three aislesand a flat roof." is something missing here?
- Reworked. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 20:56, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
- "following a fire in the Gothic style" A gothic style fire! Gasps (gothically)!
- Removed –♠Vami_IV†♠ 20:56, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
- " In the west wall " -> "on the west wall"
- "The drawing room and bathroom were thoroughly modernized" when?
- link enfilade?
THat's prose comments and a first pass- very nice work on the whole. Eddie891 Talk Work 17:35, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
- Vami_IV, have you gotten to the "source that may help"? Eddie891 Talk Work 13:32, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
- I have now. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 23:43, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
- I'm happy with the prose now for GA standard
- Images look good.
- Sources appear to be reliable, checked MacDonough and several others, everything lines up perfectly, no evidence of copyvio, seems to be comprehensive. Passing. Eddie891 Talk Work 00:42, 2 September 2020 (UTC)