Talk:Beechwood (Vanderlip mansion)/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: CaroleHenson (talk · contribs) 00:31, 13 September 2014 (UTC)
- I will review the article within the next couple of days.--CaroleHenson (talk) 00:31, 13 September 2014 (UTC)
- Thanks!--ɱ (talk) 00:46, 13 September 2014 (UTC)
Comments
editThe article is well-written, contains interesting information about Beechwood's history, expansion, and transformation into a condominium complex! It follows Manual of Style guidelines for sections, layout, words to watch and other GA well-written criteria. The content is verifiable, with inline citations to reliable, secondary sources. There is no evidence of original research. It focuses on the main aspects of the topic, without going into unnecessary detail. The article has been wonderfully expanded since this April, 2014 version. There's no evidence of edit-warring. The images are properly tagged. Your experience with GA articles shows - you made the review an easy one!
Style/layout/images
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Content
editPortion of the discussion that is complete
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Close paraphrasing
edit- I know that this might have occurred due to contributions by another editor, but based upon this check of one web page, please check for Close paraphrasing issues with that web source (the others are fine) and the books. Here's one example:
- main house to three condominiums and built an additional 34 units on the property the rolling lawns of the estate that were once used (NYT)
- components for three condominiums and built an additional 34 condominium units on the property description edit the 80 acre 32 ha private parkland was (Wikipedia)
- I have checked this. Various users have different opinions and recommendations on how much can match up; in this case seven words match up. That's no cause for concern, and it falls well below my standards against plagiarism.--ɱ (talk) 00:43, 15 September 2014 (UTC)
- Interesting response, when you say you've checked this - what do you mean?--CaroleHenson (talk) 01:27, 15 September 2014 (UTC)
- Well, I can safely say that all of the text from before I started editing here has been altered for better wording and integration. And while I was writing the rest of it, I was careful to make sure that nothing was too close to the original source. Do a couple spot checks if you'd like; I encourage it.--ɱ (talk) 02:04, 15 September 2014 (UTC)
- Interesting response, when you say you've checked this - what do you mean?--CaroleHenson (talk) 01:27, 15 September 2014 (UTC)
- I have checked this. Various users have different opinions and recommendations on how much can match up; in this case seven words match up. That's no cause for concern, and it falls well below my standards against plagiarism.--ɱ (talk) 00:43, 15 September 2014 (UTC)
- To delve into one of the items on the dupe report,
- The article says:
- In the intro: "A developer purchased it in the 1980s, restoring and splitting the house for three condominiums; 34 additional condominium units were then built on the property, and the estate remains as a condominium complex"
- In the history section: "In the early 1980s, the estate was sold to a developer who restored the house and split it into its original components for three condominiums and built an additional 34 condominium units on the property."
- The New York Times article says: "In the early 1980's, the 33-acre estate was sold to a developer who converted the main house to three condominiums and built an additional 34 units on the property."
- Analysis
There are some tweaks that can be made to the intro, but it's definitely better. The real issue is with the statement in the history section where the difference between the NYT and Wikipedia articles are minimal
- "In the early 1980s, the 33-acre estate was sold to a developer who
restoredconverted the main houseand split it into its original components forto three condominiums and built an additional 34condominiumunits on the property."
- "In the early 1980s, the 33-acre estate was sold to a developer who
- Suggestions
- Intro: "The property is now a 37-condominium complex as the result of a development project that began in the 1980s." (Comment: The order of some of the words are changed, it's a summary, and is differentiated a bit from the info that will be read in the history section.)
- History: "Three condominiums were built during a transformation of the mansion in the 1980s. A later expansion resulted in a total of 37 condominiums on the property's 33 acres.
You may very likely have a different approach for how you'd like to reword the sentences - but at least you have a couple of examples to consider.--CaroleHenson (talk) 23:08, 16 September 2014 (UTC)
- I went ahead and made the change to the article, because I thought that would probably resolve 3 duplicate hits on the report. Of course, feel free to word them, though, as you'd prefer. The only remaining sentence that needs to be looked at on the dupe report is:
- "...the small... stone gazebo built by the Vanderlips is occasionally used for wedding ceremonies." (article)
- "A small, moated stone gazebo built by the Vanderlip family has also been preserved and is sometimes used for wedding ceremonies." (New York Times)
- That will finish off the web sources, and just leave the books to check. You may question whether this is close paraphrasing, but by definition it appears to be. If you disagree, though, we can definitely ask for a third opinion.--CaroleHenson (talk) 06:13, 20 September 2014 (UTC)
- OK, thanks for your help so far. With the gazebo sentence, I kept all of the important information: 'gazebo', 'stone', 'small', 'built by Vanderlips', and 'sometimes used for wedding ceremonies'. The only similarity with the NYT sentence is how those facts are arranged within the sentence, and I don't think there's any better way to arrange those simple descriptive facts and still be concise. There can be exceptions to the plagiarism/close paraphrasing rules if it's a simple statement of facts like that.--ɱ (talk) 20:42, 27 September 2014 (UTC)
I've taken a stab at three options / approaches:
- The Vanderlip's stone gazebo is sometimes the site for wedding ceremonies. (changed order)
- Beechwood, named for the estate's trees, is the site of wedding ceremonies, which feature the stone gazebo built by the Vanderlips. (integrated other info)
- The formal gardens and stone gazebo, erected by the Vanderlips, have been preserved and feature in wedding ceremonies that occur on the property. (integrated info)
Of course, again, feel free to reword any of these that best suit you.--CaroleHenson (talk) 21:58, 27 September 2014 (UTC)
- I think those options are needlessly wordy such that a GOCE reviewer would likely cut it back down to how it is now, but I'll take it. Thanks for your help.--ɱ (talk) 23:17, 27 September 2014 (UTC)
- I encourage you to reword the sentence any way that you would like to as long as it's not a close paraphrasing issue. In the meantime, I'm glad that you brought up the Guild of Copy Editors because this might be a good opportunity to bring them in to make sure that the suggestions that I brought up do address close paraphrasing.
- In addition, there are still the books. Based upon the comments that there aren't close paraphrasing issues when there was a report that says that there are concerns, I'm a little leery about going on blind faith, but their input might be helpful there, too. I was also given the name of someone who might help us out or the talk page for close paraphrasing. I'll check around and see if we can get someone to help us out.
- We're so close to getting this moved to GA pass - it would be great to make that happen soon.--CaroleHenson (talk) 02:43, 28 September 2014 (UTC)
- It made sense to go directly to the Close paraphrasing folks, so I posted a request at WP talk:CP Beechwood (Vanderlip mansion) - resolving Close paraphrasing concerns--CaroleHenson (talk) 02:59, 28 September 2014 (UTC)
- Apparently we're not that close if you want to check all of those print sources, and invite others in to review. They're also going to find more 'issues' to be fixed with rewording and rearranging, even if you brought them in solely to check for paraphrasing. Honestly I'm tired of all this. GA reviews are not meant to be extensive endeavors, I know that from experience and the GA instructions and guidelines. If you'd like, sometime I can scan to you the pages from Cheever's book, and around October 18 when I'm back in the village, I can probably scan to you the rest of the print sources. Beyond that, I'm really finished here.--ɱ (talk) 03:05, 28 September 2014 (UTC)
- Agreed. This has dragged out so much longer than I expected, too - even with what I thought were very easily solvable close paraphrasing issues.
- I think we probably are close. It's just that there has been reluctance to admit and resolve the close phrasing issues, for the things I knew were issues, it's hard know how to feel comfortable that there aren't any other issues for the books. If I am being hypervigilant, which is the impression that I'm getting from you, their input will help square that away so that I better understand how far to go / not go.--CaroleHenson (talk) 03:28, 28 September 2014 (UTC)
- In my opinion it does not cross the line. it's ok. Rjensen (talk) 03:42, 28 September 2014 (UTC)
- I think we probably are close. It's just that there has been reluctance to admit and resolve the close phrasing issues, for the things I knew were issues, it's hard know how to feel comfortable that there aren't any other issues for the books. If I am being hypervigilant, which is the impression that I'm getting from you, their input will help square that away so that I better understand how far to go / not go.--CaroleHenson (talk) 03:28, 28 September 2014 (UTC)
Ok, thanks! I will pass the article.--CaroleHenson (talk) 13:56, 29 September 2014 (UTC)
Further reading
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You may want to add some "Further reading" items. I couldn't find sources with significant content. Based upon your experience writing about Briarcliff Manor, I assume that you'd more likely have a sense of any possible additions. There are these, though, with bits of information - the most important seeming to be about Narcissa Cox Vanderlip's connection with Eleanor Roosevelt and events that occurred at Beechwood.
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The discussion is essentially closed. There was a suggestion made to add content to the article about Eleanor Roosevelt's connection to the mansion, but whether it's added or not doesn't affect the review.--CaroleHenson (talk) 01:31, 15 September 2014 (UTC)
Side items
editDiscussion unrelated to the actual review
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Collapsing this since it's an essentially closed discussion - and unrelated to the actual review.--CaroleHenson (talk) 01:33, 15 September 2014 (UTC) |
General comments
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Great article!--CaroleHenson (talk) 17:04, 13 September 2014 (UTC)
I am confused by some of the comments. Maybe it helps if I explain where I'm coming from, because I think there are varying intentions among contributors and reviewers. When I write, re-write or review an article, my mindset is: "what is the experience going to be for the average reader?" If there's a word that can be explained; images positioned so that are with relevant text and/or don't "bunch up" in areas; words that can be avoided that might "hang-up" a reader (e.g., host, contemporarily, eponymous - in this case), etc. - my goal is to remedy that. You're a smart person, I get that the things I'm noting aren't issues for you. I'm a little confused by the reluctance to make the minor tweaks / clarifications if it would help some readers, but they're not important enough to affect the article's GA review pass/fail status. I think the biggest open issues are: 1) image placement (stab taken and comments are in the above image section) and 2) close paraphrasing. Long and short, I have a love-hate relationship with close paraphrasing, but it is an important issue, a key criteria for the GA review (1a), and one that has threatened Wikipedia's existence (2012/2013?).
I apologize for the way this was worded, so I struck it out and am trying again. As a reviewer, I'm comfortable making minor edits or edits where the fix is easier than a comment but for more substantive issues I'm not comfortable editing the article while I am the reviewer. Sometimes when we've been close to the material it's hard to see when rewording is possible (i.e., it may seem like an example of "a limited number of ways to say the same thing"). In this case, though, I think that there are absolutely ways to reword this so that it changes the tenor of the author's writing style and the order in which the words are provided. I will take a stab at rewording one of the items found on the duplicated report to illustrate that point. I think it's wise to keep the hold on the review; it doesn't matter if this gets resolved earlier and the hold provides a bit of a cushion so you do not feel pushed. It would be wise to look at the close paraphrasing example because it's nearly identical to this situation. The example might provide greater insight than my attempts to explain it. Also, if you'd like, you can grab another editor - like someone from the Guild of Copy Editors - and ask them to take a look at the prose for other items on the dupe report. Sometimes another perspective can clear up these issues quickly.--CaroleHenson (talk) 20:15, 16 September 2014 (UTC)
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Approach
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A continuation of the previous discussion:
Regarding approach, and your comment: "I guess I just sort of liked when an editor ran through the Briarcliff Manor article, removing links to simple words and concepts that aren't very relevant to the text, and formalizing the wording, adding sophistication in multiple places."
See the General comments section.--CaroleHenson (talk) 05:45, 16 September 2014 (UTC)
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