Talk:Behind These Hazel Eyes/GA1
Latest comment: 12 years ago by Toa Nidhiki05 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Toa Nidhiki05 (talk · contribs) 23:32, 12 March 2012 (UTC)
I will be reviewing this article shortly. Toa Nidhiki05 23:32, 12 March 2012 (UTC)
I am guessing you are not a native speaker of English, so I'll try to go easy on the grammar mistakes. However, I will point them out and expect them to be fixed, but I'll give ample time to do so. If I don't retain a wikilink in my rephrasing suggestions, do not delink it - I'm just not going to bother relinking it in my suggestion. Any phrases I want to draw attention to will be marked by an two apostrophes - one before the phrase and one after it. :)
- You're right. Thank you so much. :) — My December (talk) 10:11, 13 March 2012 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- Lede
- Several problems with 'It was officially sent to radio stations on April 12, 2005, as the third single of Clarkson's sophomore album, Breakaway. Clarkson considered "Behind These Hazel Eyes" as one of her favourite songs and she once intended to name her album after the song.' First off, per WP:ENGVAR 'favourite' should be changed to 'favorite', as Clarkson is an American singer. Second, no commas are needed after the date or before Breakaway. Also, specify Breakaway as the album she intended to name after the song. Rewrite the paragraph to to 'It was officially sent to radio stations on April 12, 2005 as the third single off of Clarkson's sophomore album Breakaway. Clarkson considered "Behind These Hazel Eyes" as one of her favorite songs and she once intended to name Breakaway after the song.'
Done — My December (talk) 10:11, 13 March 2012 (UTC)
- Several problems with 'It was officially sent to radio stations on April 12, 2005, as the third single of Clarkson's sophomore album, Breakaway. Clarkson considered "Behind These Hazel Eyes" as one of her favourite songs and she once intended to name her album after the song.' First off, per WP:ENGVAR 'favourite' should be changed to 'favorite', as Clarkson is an American singer. Second, no commas are needed after the date or before Breakaway. Also, specify Breakaway as the album she intended to name after the song. Rewrite the paragraph to to 'It was officially sent to radio stations on April 12, 2005 as the third single off of Clarkson's sophomore album Breakaway. Clarkson considered "Behind These Hazel Eyes" as one of her favorite songs and she once intended to name Breakaway after the song.'
- '"Behind These Hazel Eyes" is an uptempo pop rock song that incorporates crunchy guitars which are pulsated with driving beats and anthemic choruses. It narrates Clarkson's broken relationship with her ex-boyfriend. Although the pain is unbearable, she is determined that he will not get the satisfaction of seeing her cry. Upon released as a single, critics speculated that the song reflected Clarkson's broken relationship with her former boyfriend, David Hodges.' has a few issues. Merge the first two sentences with a semicolon. I would remove the third sentence entirely. Also, no comma is needed before the name of her ex-boyfriend. Done — My December (talk) 10:11, 13 March 2012 (UTC)
- '"Behind These Hazel Eyes" is an uptempo pop rock song that incorporates crunchy guitars which are pulsated with driving beats and anthemic choruses. It narrates Clarkson's broken relationship with her ex-boyfriend. Although the pain is unbearable, she is determined that he will not get the satisfaction of seeing her cry. Upon released as a single, critics speculated that the song reflected Clarkson's broken relationship with her former boyfriend, David Hodges.' has a few issues. Merge the first two sentences with a semicolon. I would remove the third sentence entirely. Also, no comma is needed before the name of her ex-boyfriend.
- '"Behind These Hazel Eyes" received generally positive reviews from critics who considered the song as a decent follow-up to Clarkson's previous single, "Since U Been Gone. Critics also lauded Clarkson's vocal ability which simmers alongside the steroid-charged musical backdrop that is fun, fast and furious. Commercially, "Behind These Hazel" was success in the United States; it peaked at number six on the Billboard Hot 100. It also became Clarkson's first song to top Adult Contemporary chart. It was certified platinum from Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) for selling over one million digital downloads. Elsewhere, the song charted inside the top ten in Austria, Netherlands, New Zealand and the United Kingdom.' has a number of issues. Change '"Behind These Hazel Eyes" received generally positive reviews from critics who considered the song as a decent follow-up to Clarkson's previous single, "Since U Been Gone.' to '"Behind These Hazel Eyes" received generally positive reviews from critics, who considered the song as a decent follow-up to Clarkson's previous single "Since U Been Gone".' The previous wording mistakenly implies it only received positive reviews from critics who praised the song as a follow-up, while the quotation mark at the end of "Since U Been Gone" is missed. :) Done — My December (talk) 10:11, 13 March 2012 (UTC)
- '"Behind These Hazel Eyes" received generally positive reviews from critics who considered the song as a decent follow-up to Clarkson's previous single, "Since U Been Gone. Critics also lauded Clarkson's vocal ability which simmers alongside the steroid-charged musical backdrop that is fun, fast and furious. Commercially, "Behind These Hazel" was success in the United States; it peaked at number six on the Billboard Hot 100. It also became Clarkson's first song to top Adult Contemporary chart. It was certified platinum from Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) for selling over one million digital downloads. Elsewhere, the song charted inside the top ten in Austria, Netherlands, New Zealand and the United Kingdom.' has a number of issues. Change '"Behind These Hazel Eyes" received generally positive reviews from critics who considered the song as a decent follow-up to Clarkson's previous single, "Since U Been Gone.' to '"Behind These Hazel Eyes" received generally positive reviews from critics, who considered the song as a decent follow-up to Clarkson's previous single "Since U Been Gone".' The previous wording mistakenly implies it only received positive reviews from critics who praised the song as a follow-up, while the quotation mark at the end of "Since U Been Gone" is missed. :)
- 'Commercially, "Behind These Hazel" was success in the United States; it peaked at number six on the Billboard Hot 100. It also became Clarkson's first song to top Adult Contemporary chart. It was certified platinum from Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) for selling over one million digital downloads. Elsewhere, the song charted inside the top ten in Austria, Netherlands, New Zealand and the United Kingdom.' is factually incorrect. Note that it topped the Adult Pop chart, not the Adult Contemporary chart. Also, be sure to use the word "the" before giving the name of the chart, so use "the Adult Pop" chart. Additionally, you forgot to put 'Eyes' after 'Hazel'. Done — My December (talk) 10:11, 13 March 2012 (UTC)
- 'Commercially, "Behind These Hazel" was success in the United States; it peaked at number six on the Billboard Hot 100. It also became Clarkson's first song to top Adult Contemporary chart. It was certified platinum from Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) for selling over one million digital downloads. Elsewhere, the song charted inside the top ten in Austria, Netherlands, New Zealand and the United Kingdom.' is factually incorrect. Note that it topped the Adult Pop chart, not the Adult Contemporary chart. Also, be sure to use the word "the" before giving the name of the chart, so use "the Adult Pop" chart. Additionally, you forgot to put 'Eyes' after 'Hazel'.
- 'The concept of the video was conceived by Clarkson which depicts her as a bride who experiences some dream-like hints that her husband-to-be is having an affair with a brunette ceremony attendee.' has the same issue as above; change to 'The concept of the video was conceived by Clarkson and depicts her as a bride who experiences some dream-like hints that her husband-to-be is having an affair with a brunette ceremony attendee.' Done — My December (talk) 10:11, 13 March 2012 (UTC)
- 'The concept of the video was conceived by Clarkson which depicts her as a bride who experiences some dream-like hints that her husband-to-be is having an affair with a brunette ceremony attendee.' has the same issue as above; change to 'The concept of the video was conceived by Clarkson and depicts her as a bride who experiences some dream-like hints that her husband-to-be is having an affair with a brunette ceremony attendee.'
- 'The music video had a successful run at Total Request Live; it spent 33 days at number one on the chart which is the longest stay by a female artist. The song was performed live by Clarkson at numerous venues, including the Breakaway World Tour (2006) and the All I Ever Wanted Tour (2009).' First off, change the sentence about total request live; request shows are invalid as charts per WP:BADCHARTS. Perhaps note that it received heavy play at that station. Done — My December (talk) 10:11, 13 March 2012 (UTC)
- 'The music video had a successful run at Total Request Live; it spent 33 days at number one on the chart which is the longest stay by a female artist. The song was performed live by Clarkson at numerous venues, including the Breakaway World Tour (2006) and the All I Ever Wanted Tour (2009).' First off, change the sentence about total request live; request shows are invalid as charts per WP:BADCHARTS. Perhaps note that it received heavy play at that station.
- Background and writing
- The wording on 'On 2004, Clarkson flew to Sweden to collaborate with Max Martin and Lukasz "Dr. Luke" Gottwald for her album, Breakaway. Clarkson and Martin were interested in turning in a more rock direction away from the pop music with which they were identified. The songs "Since U Been Gone" as well as "Behind These Hazel Eyes" were the products of their collaboration.' is a bit incorrect on some parts. Change 'on' to 'in', first off - if you were referring to a specific date (ie. March 4, 2004), 'on' would be appropriate - otherwise, 'in' is the proper term. Also, the last few sentences are a bit awkward - I would change this overall to In 2004, Clarkson flew to Sweden to collaborate with Max Martin and Lukasz "Dr. Luke" Gottwald for her album Breakaway. Clarkson and Martin were interested in turning in a more rock direction, as opposed to the "slick pop" with which they were identified. The songs "Since U Been Gone" and "Behind These Hazel Eyes" were the products of their collaboration." Done — My December (talk) 06:56, 15 March 2012 (UTC)
- The wording on 'On 2004, Clarkson flew to Sweden to collaborate with Max Martin and Lukasz "Dr. Luke" Gottwald for her album, Breakaway. Clarkson and Martin were interested in turning in a more rock direction away from the pop music with which they were identified. The songs "Since U Been Gone" as well as "Behind These Hazel Eyes" were the products of their collaboration.' is a bit incorrect on some parts. Change 'on' to 'in', first off - if you were referring to a specific date (ie. March 4, 2004), 'on' would be appropriate - otherwise, 'in' is the proper term. Also, the last few sentences are a bit awkward - I would change this overall to In 2004, Clarkson flew to Sweden to collaborate with Max Martin and Lukasz "Dr. Luke" Gottwald for her album Breakaway. Clarkson and Martin were interested in turning in a more rock direction, as opposed to the "slick pop" with which they were identified. The songs "Since U Been Gone" and "Behind These Hazel Eyes" were the products of their collaboration."
- Not much is wrong with 'In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Clarkson explains that "Behind These Hazel Eyes" is "about the dipstick who completely screwed up and now is unhappy and you're happy." She also considered the song as one of her favourites that she once intended to name her album after the song.'; the only issue is to change 'favourite' to the American spelling and to specify Breakaway as the album she intended to name it after. Done — My December (talk) 06:56, 15 March 2012 (UTC)
- Not much is wrong with 'In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Clarkson explains that "Behind These Hazel Eyes" is "about the dipstick who completely screwed up and now is unhappy and you're happy." She also considered the song as one of her favourites that she once intended to name her album after the song.'; the only issue is to change 'favourite' to the American spelling and to specify Breakaway as the album she intended to name it after.
- 'The song was officially sent to radio stations on April 12, 2005, as the third single of Clarkson's sophomore album, Breakaway.' should have 'off of' rather than just' of. Done — My December (talk) 06:56, 15 March 2012 (UTC)
- 'The song was officially sent to radio stations on April 12, 2005, as the third single of Clarkson's sophomore album, Breakaway.' should have 'off of' rather than just' of.
- Composition
- Only one real error here - the bit about the chorus lyrics should say 'the chorus' instead of just 'chorus'. Done — My December (talk) 06:56, 15 March 2012 (UTC)
- Only one real error here - the bit about the chorus lyrics should say 'the chorus' instead of just 'chorus'.
- Critical reception
- 'Pam Avoledo of Blogcritics believed that "Behind These Hazel Eyes" was superior than "Since U Been Gone" writing, "It's punchier, well-written and gives Clarkson a chance to show off her vocal skills without the trendy haughtiness."' Change to 'Pam Avoledo of Blogcritics believed that "Behind These Hazel Eyes" was superior to the writing of "Since U Been Gone", commenting that "It's punchier, well-written and gives Clarkson a chance to show off her vocal skills without the trendy haughtiness."' Done — My December (talk) 06:56, 15 March 2012 (UTC)
- 'Pam Avoledo of Blogcritics believed that "Behind These Hazel Eyes" was superior than "Since U Been Gone" writing, "It's punchier, well-written and gives Clarkson a chance to show off her vocal skills without the trendy haughtiness."' Change to 'Pam Avoledo of Blogcritics believed that "Behind These Hazel Eyes" was superior to the writing of "Since U Been Gone", commenting that "It's punchier, well-written and gives Clarkson a chance to show off her vocal skills without the trendy haughtiness."'
- On the various lists you give, place the comma outside the quotation mark - placing it inside is only done for direct quotes. Done — My December (talk) 06:56, 15 March 2012 (UTC)
- On the various lists you give, place the comma outside the quotation mark - placing it inside is only done for direct quotes.
- Chart performance
- The Pop Songs chart is airplay-only, so change it to say "16th ranked". Done — My December (talk) 06:56, 15 March 2012 (UTC)
- The Pop Songs chart is airplay-only, so change it to say "16th ranked".
- Overall
- Good work; prose is now up to standard! Toa Nidhiki05 00:21, 16 March 2012 (UTC)
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references):
b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): 
- The synopsis section is uncited, but that is fine - good job here.
- a (references):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- Overall I am going to pass, but I am going to do a slight reworking of the "Charts and "Certifications" section, to add decade-end peaks and specify the year-end rankings. Toa Nidhiki05 00:21, 16 March 2012 (UTC)
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- I don't think this overstates the song's success - it is fair and balanced. Toa Nidhiki05 00:21, 16 March 2012 (UTC)
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No issues whatsoever. Toa Nidhiki05 00:21, 16 March 2012 (UTC)
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- No issues here. Toa Nidhiki05 00:21, 16 March 2012 (UTC)
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- I'm going to go ahead and pass this - I want to note that, for year end charts, it is important to specify which year it ranks on. Also, be sure to check the decade-end charts and see if it peaked there. :) Toa Nidhiki05 00:21, 16 March 2012 (UTC)
- Pass/Fail:
