Talk:Benjamin Church House (Bristol, Rhode Island)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: CaroleHenson (talk · contribs) 03:40, 7 October 2014 (UTC)

Hello, I'm starting the review and will post it within a day or so.--CaroleHenson (talk) 03:40, 7 October 2014 (UTC)

Overview

The article has been expanded significantly since early May when it was a tagged stub. It is stable and written with clear, concise prose. There are inline citations to reliable sources. There is no apparent original research. There is one image which is available and properly tagged in commons. There are a couple of items regarding the amount of detail in the intro and the Benjamin Church section - and use of quotations when paraphrasing is appropriate.

Content

• Is there a reason why part of this sentences is a quote vs. paraphrased?
  • The rear of the south front room is the former dining room that is "connected by a pantry to the kitchen in the ell. Also on the first floor are the back stairs, a rear entry, a second pantry, a lavatory, as well as two small rooms to the rear of the north front room."
  • There were similar issues with some other sentences, but if you like the direction of the following suggestions, that takes care of them, too.

Benjamin Church

There's some information in the section that starts to stray away from the subject of the article - and some that is stated as quotes, but doesn't really need to. What do you think about something like:

Benjamin Church was born on February 20, 1842, to Elizabeth Luther and Samuel Church, a wealthy grain and flour merchant. Benjamin was raised with his 12 siblings on Mount Hope Farm and the old family farm on Poppasquash. His two brothers built houses in the Poppasquash Farms Historic District. In 1900, Benjamin Church drew up a will that "fulfill[ed] his dream" to provide for the construction of a home for elderly men. It opened in 1909 as the "Benjamin Church Home for Aged Men".

Intro

Since the article is not long - and the summary doesn't need to have a lot of detail - what do you think about an introduction like:

Benjamin Church House (also known as Benjamin Church Home for the Aged) is a Colonial Revival house at 1014 Hope Street in Bristol, Rhode Island. It opened in 1909 as the "Benjamin Church Home for Aged Men" as stipulated by Benjamin Church's will. Beginning in 1934, during the Great Depression, it admitted women. The house was closed in 1968 and became a National Register of Historic Places listing in 1971. The non-profit Benjamin Church Senior Center was incorporated in June 1972 as a non-profit organization and opened on September 1, 1972. It continues to operate as a senior center.

General comments

I've posted the review for your consideration and input. The proposed wording, which is just a stab to give you something to consider.--CaroleHenson (talk) 07:44, 7 October 2014 (UTC)

I forgot a bit: You seemed to be cool with me going ahead and making minor edits on the previous GA article, so I did that again. This comparison shows minor edits for wikilinks, combining {{convert}} templates for multiple values, minor edits, and correction of two citations. Are you ok with these edits?--CaroleHenson (talk) 07:53, 7 October 2014 (UTC)

I went ahead and made edits to the Benjamin Church and Intro sections that were already drafted in this GA review - so that if the nominee wishes to renominate this article, there's very little that needs to be done. Per GA cup rules, I needed to fail the article if no response.--CaroleHenson (talk) 17:44, 17 October 2014 (UTC)