Talk:Bergdorf Goodman Building/GA2
GA Review
editThe following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Nominator: Epicgenius (talk · contribs) 00:44, 19 August 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Rollinginhisgrave (talk · contribs) 03:57, 5 September 2024 (UTC)
I'll review this. It's been a bit over a month since I've reviewed one of yours, and although my plan to get some variety in reviewers has fallen through in this case, I'm happy to review this over the next few days. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 03:57, 5 September 2024 (UTC)
Sorry for the delay, I'll get to the rest of this over the next few hours. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 07:31, 12 September 2024 (UTC)
All done! Looking good, a few things to review. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 02:16, 13 September 2024 (UTC)
Prose and content
edit- Wikilinks: milliner
- Gloss: Steuben Glass, Daniel Boulud
The Mutual Life Insurance Company took over the buildings at a foreclosure auction in 1934.
This is a bit confusing. I understand that the site contained several "structures" at this point. But in the next sentence Bergdorf Goodman "expanded its store into the entire building."- I have clarified this. At the time, the building was still composed of several distinct storefronts. Epicgenius (talk) 19:55, 16 September 2024 (UTC)
The design
of the buildingwas intended to evoke the architectureThe land lot is mostly rectangular
approximately rectangular?- One could say that, yes. The northern half of the lot extends ever so slightly further west than the southern half. Epicgenius (talk) 19:55, 16 September 2024 (UTC)
Alice Vanderbilt requested permission to sell the Vanderbilt Mansion
could you say why she needed permission?- I've clarified as to why she needed permission (basically, she didn't own the house outright, she only had a life estate). Epicgenius (talk) 19:55, 16 September 2024 (UTC)
Mrs.Vanderbilt's request- I've removed this by rewording the sentence. Epicgenius (talk) 19:55, 16 September 2024 (UTC)
Bergdorf Goodman also offered to buy the rest of the Vanderbilt site outright
But keep renting the corner structure?- Actually, the store offered to buy the entire property, including the corner structure Epicgenius (talk) 19:55, 16 September 2024 (UTC)
For the next several decades, the Fifth Avenue building would remain Bergdorf Goodman's only location.
WP:WOULDCHUCKView ofthe northern endThomas E. Greacen II redesigned that storefront
had the storefront redesigned. Don't need to mention Thomas E. Greacen II's name, unless he's notable.Tailored Woman announced that it would close its store at 742 Fifth Avenue.
when?- Added. Epicgenius (talk) 19:55, 16 September 2024 (UTC)
The plans included adding a new entrance
This kind of "it was announced" / "the plans included" content is inferior to just saying a new entrance was added, as long as it is reasonable to believe that there weren't issues (on the correct side of SYNTH). This seems to fall in that bucket as you mention a few sentences later that, indeed, a new entrance did open up.- I've reworded this. As far as I know, no significant changes were made to the plans after they were announced. Epicgenius (talk) 19:55, 16 September 2024 (UTC)
Goodman leased the building to Broadway-Hale and continued to live in his penthouse apartment atop the building
introduce that Goodman was living in this apartment. As far as I can tell, it was only mentioned that his father had lived there.Bergdorf Goodman announced in 1981...
this paragraph has the same "it was announced" issues, and skirts into WP:WOULDCHUCK- In this case, the renovation was only announced in 1981; work didn't begin until the next year. Epicgenius (talk) 19:55, 16 September 2024 (UTC)
warehouse in Queens,
WP:CINS- I have reworded this. Epicgenius (talk) 19:55, 16 September 2024 (UTC)
Suggestions
editlinen shop Mosse Inc
false title- Oops, I've fixed this. Epicgenius (talk) 19:55, 16 September 2024 (UTC)
6.075 million
template:inflation- I've converted this to use Template:US$, which incorporates inflation conversions automatically. Epicgenius (talk) 19:55, 16 September 2024 (UTC)
- I might have missed it, but can you mention when Edwin Goodman dies?
which sold teenage girls' clothing
a bit clumsy, can you writeclothing for teenage girls
?- mansard roof don't need to link this again in the next line.
- Removed the link. Epicgenius (talk) 19:55, 16 September 2024 (UTC)
each ranging from 6 to 8 stories
MOS:NUMERAL- Fixed. Epicgenius (talk) 19:55, 16 September 2024 (UTC)
- Redlink Angela Cummings, she certainly appears notable
Sources
edit- [25]
- [50] Though this article is claiming Brown bought the house in 1923.
- This is contradicted by contemporary sources, which indicate that the Vanderbilt house wasn't even placed on sale until 1925. As such, I didn't think an explanatory footnote was necessary. Epicgenius (talk) 19:55, 16 September 2024 (UTC)
- [75]
- [101]
- [125]
- [150]
- [176]
- [200]
- [225] I think this is a stronger claim than the source is making
- Oops. I have reworded this to clarify that only the sixth-floor renovation started at this time. Epicgenius (talk) 19:55, 16 September 2024 (UTC)
- [250]
- [275]
Other
edit- Images all appropriately tagged (it is a shame there aren't images of the interior / window displays)
- No issues with COPYVIO / OR (earwig 36.3%, locations)
- Broad / summary style
- Neutral
- Stable
Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 02:16, 13 September 2024 (UTC)
- Oops, I missed this. I'll fix these shortly. – Epicgenius (talk) 19:31, 16 September 2024 (UTC)
- @Rollinginhisgrave, sorry for the late responses. I have now addressed all the issues you've brought up. – Epicgenius (talk) 19:56, 16 September 2024 (UTC)
- Looking great, passing Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 22:25, 16 September 2024 (UTC)
- @Rollinginhisgrave, sorry for the late responses. I have now addressed all the issues you've brought up. – Epicgenius (talk) 19:56, 16 September 2024 (UTC)