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Dear SebCoyle-
editHere are some of my thoughts on you article project.
I would reword the first paragraph. Since this is the first thing that people are going to read you want it to flow and also give good clear info. So something like;
- “As an Austrian physicist Berta Karlik discovered that the element 85 astatine is a product of the natural decay processes. The element was first synthesized in 1940 by Dale R. Corson, K. R. MacKenzie, and Emilio Segrè, after several scientists searched in vain for it in radioactive minerals.”
- “As an Austrian physicist Berta Karlik discovered that the element 85 astatine is a product of the natural decay processes. The element was first synthesized in 1940 by Dale R. Corson, K. R. MacKenzie, and Emilio Segrè, after several scientists searched in vain for it in radioactive minerals.”
I like your info box on her and since it says her birth and death dates you can omit it from the initial paragraph. Some things I’d like to know more about in that paragraph include;
1. Where did she go to school?
2. Who were her parents?
3. Did she publish?
4. What is the significance of the “element 85 astatine”?
5. What major world events did she live through?
6. How did she handle those events? (in a bunker? In the US? At peace? At war?)
You can pack a lot in there to hook people, then expand on it later in the article.
I'd like to see a picture of her or at least a picture of “element 85 astatine.”
I would like to see the “Biography” section broken down into several smaller parts, you could keep it as the main header but I would just add sub-headers and do,
- Childhood,
- University,
- Career,
- and Discovery.
You could throw a picture in of the crystals she might have x-rayed.
In your main body of text add brackets [[ ]] to the names of people even if they don’t have pages, that way some curious reader can check out the other people mentioned in the article, the same goes for places, pretty much if it is a proper noun, throw some brackets on it. In the last paragraph you mention that she became the provisional director of “the institute,” You could do a brief section on what the institute was and why it matters that she directed it. Then a section on “her” institute as well.
So in sum, more pictures, more links, more headings.
You have some great content here.
Good luck,
Peer Review
editGood addiction SebCoyle, I agree the info box was a good addition, but my only thoughts of change would be to break up the persons life to their early life, their contributions, and how it is relevant today maybe. More visuals though is a must. Looks slightly dry to read. Give it something to break up the page a bit and keep the readers interested. Bran4232 (talk) 02:50, 31 March 2014 (UTC)