Talk:Bette Gordon
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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
edit
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Stereoscope123. Peer reviewers: Musiclove44, Tillercat.
Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 17:58, 17 January 2022 (UTC)
How to improve this article
editThis is a good start, but you need to proofread for spelling and grammer before moving the material over to mainspace (it actually looks like you've already created your page, though). -Proofread and changed some wording
New York Times should be italicized. -Done
The Jane Gaines citation is missing journal information (issue, volume) Reference #6 (Tribeca) is not coded properly -Fixed
Otherwise, you're in good shape. Nice job! -Thanks! :)
Improving Your Article
editThe article looks really good so far, well structured and a good number of sources. I made a few notes on small things you could do to improve. :)
°Try to avoid phrases like "known for" and "notably" as it implies fame and could be taken as promotional.
°The use of the word "instrumental" might be embellishing.
°I would change "Academia" to "Education" just because that is the more common heading used in wikipedia.
°"Filmography" section needs a source.
°IMDb isn't a credible source.
°The information under "Personal Life" seemed like it would fit better under "Career"
°The last sentence under "Career" should be reworded. Try putting the New York Times quote in a separate sentence.
Overall a really thorough and well done article. Just try to be more neutral. :)
Peer Review
editOverall, great article! You have lots of content under her Personal Life and Career, lots of good links to other pages, and plenty of sources. I have a couple of suggestions to help improve your page. I believe under the 'Personal Life' heading, there is actually some information there that would more closely align with an 'Early Life' section, particularly where you mention her move to New York City-pretty much everything that happened before her career 'took off' and she became famous could go under this heading. As well, I would rearrange the structure of your article to go as follows: Early Life, Education (changed from Academia), Career, and then Personal Life. I think this would give better flow to your article, and it would read more chronologically. As well, the final sentence that is currently under the heading 'Personal Life' does not appear neutral, I would add something like 'she is said to have thought...' or use a direct quotation of what Gordon said. I would try to get links for 'French New Wave' and 'Colombia University'. I also added in a few minor copyedits to fix some grammatical errors. Other then that, great job!!Musiclove44 (talk) 06:23, 1 March 2016 (UTC)