Talk:Black Power movement in Montreal

Pride's Peer Review Done by Avery Parr

Pride, I think your article is structured very nicely with each paragraph flowing very nicely from one to the other. I find the subheadings helpful to section your article and the chronological order of your piece helps the reader continuing to build off of what they learned in the previous section.

I really like your leading paragraph, it is clear and concise and provides just enough information for the reader before you go more in depth. I think you did a great job here of balancing your information in the leading paragraph without over representing or under representing a certain area of the Black Power Movement.

Your background paragraph is very thorough and sets the reader up very well in the sense that they have a basic understanding of the formation of the Montreal Black Power Movement before you proceed to your other paragraphs. You could elaborate on why the structural racism was prevalent specifically during the turn of the century, why was it during this time that it was more prevalent?

In your Paragraph “Late- 1960’s” when referring to your first conference, you made a passing point that the main demographic in attendance were younger, you could elaborate as to why that may be and what effect a predominantly younger demographic attending these conferences would have on the Black Power Movement as well.

As well in your last paragraph regarding the Sir George Williams Affair, in your last sentence with your quote you mention spectators. Maybe you could elaborate with what group/groups of people the spectators were composed of to give the reader context as to what people at this time were in disagreement with their actions.

Overall, I think you did an excellent job of providing the reader with an excellent understanding of the Black Power Movement in Montreal. I think your multitude of scholarly sources used helped you achieve this. You balanced your article very well in going into greater detail in some areas more than others in the correct way to emphasize key points. I look forward to reading your completed article.

Avery

This is really useful feedback Avery. I think you are right to pick up on the structural racism at the beginning of the twentieth century. It would be wise, Pride, to flush this out in greater detail. Avery's overall suggestion, which she makes implicitly, is that you provide a bit more context for some of the points you make here. Her comment about spectators is a good example. I've provided a few others in my comments on OWL. Good job to you both. - tp