Talk:Blackout (Britney Spears album)/GA1
Latest comment: 12 years ago by Xwomanizerx in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Petergriffin9901 (talk • message • contribs • count • logs • email) 00:00, 2 September 2011 (UTC)
- Really impressive article. Will begin soon.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 00:00, 2 September 2011 (UTC)
References
editOkay XWX, I'd really love you know your name BTW. Let me list you some things to start with.
- Two broken links
- Done
- Several newspaper references use a "cite web" template; #s 43, 46, and some do the opposite; #s 84, 86. Start by making sure all these are in the clear.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 00:09, 2 September 2011 (UTC)
- Done. You can call me Rob btw lol. Xwomanizerx (talk) 01:50, 2 September 2011 (UTC)
Lead
edit- Spears started writing songs for her next album in November 2003 -> kind of confusing; maybe, "Spears started writing songs for the album
- Done
- In May 2007, she embarked on The M+M's Tour at House of Blues venues across the United States -> Not saying its not relevant, but why does this belong here? (Don't just remove, tell me why :))
- Because it doesn't belong anywhere else? lol.
- You mention for a chunk of the lead that Spears began writing music for the album, yet she appears as a co-writer on only two songs; maybe less emphasis on writing it and more working on it
- Well, she was writing back then and I mention that word only once. I use working for the rest of the album.
- a range of elements of several -> reads a bit weird
- Changed to elements of several.
- Regarding the photos with the priest, I don't see this in the actual photo in the body. I just see porcelain and wooden object?
- I thought some people from other religions might not know what a confessional is. What do you suggest?
- Actually, according to MC, the album holds "generally favorable reviews"
- I thought we didn't use MC as a source, but rather our perspective. Reviews for In the Zone are also generally positive in MC, I put mixed and that didn't come up in your review.
- I'm not God :P--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 18:37, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
- Sorry, I didn't mean it like that! I was just asking you what criteria I should be using. Xwomanizerx (talk) 22:21, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
- I'm not God :P--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 18:37, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
- I thought we didn't use MC as a source, but rather our perspective. Reviews for In the Zone are also generally positive in MC, I put mixed and that didn't come up in your review.
- called, should be -> small issues with tense
- I have issues with tense, so check if it's fine now.
- for being robotic -> unless this is a direct quote, I think "overly-processed" is much more appropriate
- to debut at at the
- Blackout has sold 3.1 million copies worldwide. -> As of?
- I think you should establish that her panned performance was the only live performance in promotion of the album
- Done all.
Background
edit- Spears told Entertainment Weekly she -> that
- Done
- "probably before summertime, or maybe a little sooner than that." -> think, to avoid confusion, you should list the year in brackets
- Done
- I think the main (but small) issue with this section is the transition from TOD to BLOUT. Even knowing both albums, I am not sure when you are referring to which. Maybe a live that TOD was cancelled?
- I think someone who doesn't know the TOD situation might just get that TOD was just a working title for Blackout. Plus, we don't have anything on TOD being canceled.
The M+M Tour
edit- She started rehearsing for a show at House of Blues venues in secret -> Any other words for 'secret'?
- I don't know, is 'private' ok?
- and pulled out of a surprise -> what do you mean? She was performing a show and quit?
- Yes.
Recording
edit- The photos are still a bit too large Rob, try shimmying them down a bit
- Down from 230 to 200.
- Spears's -> Spears' (look for several instances throughout the article)
- Done
- wanted to work with her "forever" and -> this can have two meanings. He's been wanting to work with her forever, or wants to work with her forver?
- Changed "forever" to "for a long time"
- I think you should emphasize a little more that "Piece of Me" actually spoke of her personal life. I know you mean it, but it could be clearer
- Done
Composition
edit- Again, photos are a little large
- Down from 135 to 115
- and third single is "Break the Ice" -> the is kind of breaks it
- Done
- I know you have one sample, but for such a diverse album, I think one or two more samples with good descriptions would be nice. If you agree, let me know what song and what part and I can upload it for you :)
- I'd love to, but isn't the section a bit two crowded with the quote and the pictures? Should I put the quote in the body of the article?
- Yeah that's true. Hmmm, I guess it's your call. Pictures or samples, for me either works :)--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 18:37, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
- I'll let you know in your talk page. Xwomanizerx (talk) 22:21, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
- Yeah that's true. Hmmm, I guess it's your call. Pictures or samples, for me either works :)--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 18:37, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
- I'd love to, but isn't the section a bit two crowded with the quote and the pictures? Should I put the quote in the body of the article?
- Honestly, this article is great and such a pleasure to read. You should be very proud!
- Thanks! That means a lot. :)
Release and artwork
edit- Any news on the result of the lawsuit?
- was " horrendous"
- The only stand-out issue here is the photo. It doesn't really cover anything said in the section. I wouldn't mind a non-free cover picture of one of those controversial photos, since it is heavily backed in the prose. It would be like an alt cover, and it would pass rational.
- All done.
Critical reception
edit- You should list the MC score out of 100 above the chart. Look at The Emancipation of Mimi to see what I mean
- Mention that 61/100 indicated "generally favorable reviews"
- The main issue of this section is the formula "John Smith of " " said". Try switching it up a bit
- Done all.
Chart performance
edit- Blackout could possibly debut at the top -> would
- Done
- Any source for Mayfield's quote? Or is that all covered in that one ref lines down?
- It's all in the source.
- had a consistent performance -> had consistent performance. I think that makes more sense
- Done
Singles
edit- It was also commercially successful -> borderline NPOV
- It received positive reviews from music critics -> You only list one citation
- All done.
Promotion
edit- it was confirmed on September 6, 2007, that Spears -> no comma needed
- by the by the
- was not heavily promoted by magazine interviews -> through
- All done.
Legacy
edit- public began to clash with her public -> try not to use basic words in such close proximity
- Really nice!
- All done.
Misc
edit- Source for credits?
- Done
- Really awesome article Rob, I'd say your best yet. It was a pleasure to read and so informative. Well done and amazing job! :)--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 17:07, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks! I think I'm done now. Xwomanizerx (talk) 22:21, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
- Really awesome article Rob, I'd say your best yet. It was a pleasure to read and so informative. Well done and amazing job! :)--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 17:07, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
Non-reviewer comments
edit- First of all, let me say: Amazing work on the article!
- Thank you! :D
- What I noticed is the use of {{Double image}} in Recording section, when I view it in a low resolution, there's squeezing of text. Similar issue in Composition section. Can you reduce the number of images?
- I think that the images really add to article. Maybe I can reduce the size? And I know what I'm gonna say is WP:OTHERCRAP, but I really liked the way Lego used it on Born This Way, so that's why I added it here.
- I am the reviewer here, heed my command :) lol. Don't worry Rob, I actually really like those double images, but yes, they are a bit too big.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:56, 4 September 2011 (UTC)
- Lol, I reduced them a bit.
- I am the reviewer here, heed my command :) lol. Don't worry Rob, I actually really like those double images, but yes, they are a bit too big.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:56, 4 September 2011 (UTC)
- I think that the images really add to article. Maybe I can reduce the size? And I know what I'm gonna say is WP:OTHERCRAP, but I really liked the way Lego used it on Born This Way, so that's why I added it here.
- Can the caption of the sample be expanded a bit? You know, made strong?
- Expanded and added sources.
- Last, in the tracklisting section, Japan, Target and Swiss editions need sources.
- Added sources and removed the Swiss edition.
That's all :) Your name is Rob? Cool! Novice7 (talk) 05:05, 3 September 2011 (UTC)
- Hi Maggy! Welcome :D--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 05:41, 3 September 2011 (UTC)