Talk:Blood on the Forge/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Jezhotwells (talk · contribs) 11:00, 13 December 2011 (UTC)

I shall be reviewing this article against the Good Article criteria, following its nomination for Good Article status.

Disambiguations: two found and fixed.[1] Jezhotwells (talk) 11:04, 13 December 2011 (UTC)

Linkrot:

Checking against GA criteria

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

   The novel follows the Moss brothers as they escape the inequality of sharecropping in the South for the inequality of mill working in the North. The novel illustrates the tragedy and hardships many Black Americans faced during the Great Migration. Attaway's novel mimics his family's migration from North to South when he was a child, and could be the inspiration for the novel. The novel showcases the political fervor in the 1920's, specifically the rise of the proletariat in America and the oppression and racism Black Americans faced in the United States. Please try and show a little originality in the way you commence sentences.

   From 1910 to 1930, approximately six million African-Americans; the majority of the migrating African Americans. Please be consistent with hyphenation.

   Factors motivating blacks to migrate north included job opportunities, many of which involved industrialized labour, and escaping the harsh racial climate of the south, deadly lynch mobs, low wages and poverty. Over complex sentences such as this do not aid readability.

   harlem renaissance. Should be capitalized as per the article name.

   ''In Blood on the Forge, the Moss Brothers work in the iron mills in the North, and the book describes the tough conditions iron workers faced working in the blazing hot conditions where the blast furnaces would reach up to 2000°C in order to smelt the iron. Do we really need the word "iron" three times in the sentence?

   The Moss brothers were escaping the post-reconstruction era of the South where they faced racism, lynchings and the ineffectual life many African-Americans faced in the South as sharecroppers. We had most of this a few sentences earlier.

   The Plot summary reads like a list. Please try and rewrite.

   "emerging black proletariat(s)." Why has proletariat been pluralized?

   Attaway's novels were not a major attraction to critics at the time, which may have been caused by Richard Wright, another African American author who published his novels around the same time. Extremely clumsy.

   This needs a thorough copy-edit, line by line. It is distressing to see an article about literature written so badly. Have you looked at the good article criteria? Whatever made you think that it was "reasonably well written"?

   The lead needs to fully summarize the article, please see WP:LEAD.

   The character list should be more of a summary.

   Although some attempts have been made to copy-edit, they really haven't improved things much. A competent copy-edtior should be recruited. Find some article that are well written and have achieved good article status. Check out the article history to identify who did the copy-editing - note many articles are collaborative efforts.

   ('forty acres and a mule') We don't wikilink within quotations. Not done

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

   There are a number of bare urls which need to be formatted. Links to journals and JSTOR where a subscription is required should note that. Not done Sources appear reliable and statements are adequately cited, except for those where I have placed citation needed tags..

   Confusing use of MLA citations in the dialogue section.

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

   Critical reception could do with some more recent criticism that that or the lack of that around the date of publication. there are plenty of links to journals which have analysed the book. Has it been republished recently?

   There has been no response to this.

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

   NPOV

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

   Stable

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

   One image used with suitable non-free use rationale and caption.

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

   On hold for above issues to be addressed. The major failing is the rather poor prose. Please get it copy-edited. Seven days. Jezhotwells (talk) 11:34, 13 December 2011 (UTC)

   OK, the prose is still not "reasonably good". There are still a few unresolved minor issues so I shall not be listing at this time. This definitely has the makings of a good article though. I suggest that after thorough copy-editing you take this to peer review to iron out wrinkled before re-submitted at WP:GAN. Jezhotwells (talk) 13:58, 22 December 2011 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.