Talk:Bonin white-eye

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Bonin white-eye/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Jens Lallensack (talk · contribs) 21:19, 19 March 2019 (UTC)

I'm currently travelling, I have time to read but have to see when I have time to upload the comments, so I might take a few days longer. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 21:19, 19 March 2019 (UTC)

• Since 1995 it is known to be a white-eye in the family Zosteropidae, and is closely related to the golden white-eye of the Marianas Islands. – remove "and is" or replace with "that is" to make sentence parts fit?

• Done

• suggest to use the correct dashes (the long ones) for ranges (e.g., 3–4 mm) and separating sentences.

• Done

• It is not stated in the main text since when it was considered a member of the white eyes. This info is in the lead though.

• Added

• nominate – please link

• Done

• There are two subspecies of Bonin white-eye, the nominate, formerly found in Mukojimaand Chichijima – that means the nomimate form is extinct? Would specify for clarity.

• Done

• The nominate race has – use past tense if extinct

• Done

• the think black line – "a" "thin" black line?
• Is it the only member of its genus? I would explicitly state this.
• The species as once found – "was"?

• Fixed

• and a bird from that island were the type specimen – why past, is the type specimen lost?

• should have been was, changed

• and a bird from that island were the type specimen for the species. – this means a bird from the population before its extinction? Would state for clarity

Clarified on preceding sentence where that fact sits more naturally

• Communication – suggest to name it "Vocalisations", as "communication" would encompass much more (visual, etc) which is not mentioned.

• I think its fine but changed

• image caption: Calophyllum inophyllum, on Haha-jima, are part of the diet of the Bonin white-eye – but which parts? Fruits of? Seeds of? And wouldn't it be better to show a native plant species anyways?

• Changed caption. If I ever find an image of a native plant it feeds on will add it. Sabine's Sunbird talk 19:13, 24 March 2019 (UTC)

• with vines, grasses, pine needles, rootlets, woven in, – maybe "and rootlets woven in"?

• Done

• 19.5–20.5 mm (0.77–0.81 in)x15–15.8 mm (0.59–0.62 in) – I don't think this works with the templates so well. Maybe write like this: "19.5–20.5 mm x 15–15.8 mm (0.77–0.81 in x 0.59–0.62 in)"

• done

• in the lead: two eggs. I would add "usually", otherwise it sounds as if it is fixed to this count.

• fixed

• Warbling white-eyes may have had some effect on the behaviour of Bonin white-eye, – "Bonin white-eyes" (plural)?

• fixed

• The Bonin Islands (Hahajima pictured) have been protected to protect the species – I'm a bit confused; it occurs only on one of the islands? --Jens Lallensack (talk) 16:23, 24 March 2019 (UTC)

• It was a big reason for the protection. Clarified.

• Cool, all doneSabine's Sunbird talk 22:36, 24 March 2019 (UTC)