Talk:Bookends (album)/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: IndianBio (talk · contribs) 10:50, 9 June 2015 (UTC)

Starting review. I know you have been waiting for a long time, maybe this weekend won't hurt :) —Indian:BIO ^{[ ChitChat ]} 04:30, 19 June 2015 (UTC)

• Question. How does this whole para, "The duo had risen to fame in 1965 based on the strength of the hit single "The Sound of Silence", and their previous two studio albums—Sounds of Silence and Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme—had enjoyed commercial and critical acclaim. In 1967, Simon was approached by director Mike Nichols to write songs for his next film, The Graduate. Released several weeks prior to Bookends in 1968, the soundtrack album propelled the band further into stardom" relate to the album's development. You can shorten it by simply stating how Simon and Garfunkel gained popularity.
• Side two largely consists of unused material for The Graduate soundtrack --> The wikilink for the film's soundtrack album you can include in the previous para when you talk about the band writing songs for the film
• who was drafted into the equation --> "drafted"? you surely mean "brought into the"
• There is a choronological issue here in the lead section where the clarity is not present. Situations skip between 1967 and 68. I would suggest to rearrange the content so that first we establish the band's popularity, then say that graduuate was released, then Bookends started recording.
• I believe the above holds good for the article's body also.
• and the album produced the number one hit single "Mrs. Robinson" --> and the album produced the number one hit single, "Mrs. Robinson"
• It was mainly a hit in the duo's native country --> This does not clarify if its referring to the album or "Mrs Robinson"
• Use {{flat list}} in the infobox for producers and {{unbulleted list}} for the recording locations
• Initial sales for Bookends were substantial --> This does not give any clarity as to its chart performance. For such small chartings you can easily mention the country names instead of being plain ambiguous.

Continuing further.. —Indian:BIO ^{[ ChitChat ]} 09:13, 23 June 2015 (UTC)

Hi Saginaw-hitchhiker are you checking for the issues? —Indian:BIO ^{[ ChitChat ]} 08:56, 26 June 2015 (UTC)

Yup, I've addressed all the issues so far. Some thoughts:

• The idea to recap the group's career within the first paragraph of the lead is simply to give readers with no knowledge of the duo some background. While I can see how things like "Sound of Silence" and whatnot are rather unnecessary for the lead, I feel the inclusion of the Graduate is warranted seeing as how these two records were closely tied to one another, and their songs on that soundtrack influenced their work on Bookends. Plus, it creates a five-line paragraph and looks good in comparison with the others. You can delete it if you'd like, but I feel like it works fine.
  • Hi Saginaw, its not about my preference and I won't be deleting it. But I want you to understand that we must not go overboard. I understand The Graduate part and am fine with keeping it, but the other WP:UNDUE should be removed.
• I've deleted the "1968" mention in the first paragraph (altering it to just "Released several weeks prior to Bookends,") so that it reads better chronologically. Saginaw-hitchhiker (talk) 20:53, 26 June 2015 (UTC)

Recording

• Bookends was recorded in fits and starts over various periods from late 1966 to early 1968 --> This goes a little too into ambiguity territory. I feel its better to give the range of 1966 to 1968 and leave it at that.
• When the viola players arrived, the duo were so taken with the sound of the musicians --> This is not clear, what do you mean by so taken? Amazed? Disgusted? You need to clarify it otherwise the next part does not tie in
• The production budget allowed Simon to display his talents in all aspects of recording, including songwriting, singing and producing. While Garfunkel's songs and voice took a lead role on some songs, the harmonies the band were known for gradually disappeared. For Simon, Bookends represented the end of the duo and became an early indicator of his intentions to go solo.[14] Although the album had been planned long in advance, work did not begin in earnest until the late months of 1967 --> This is a little too much of WP:NPOV failing and looks a little too verbatim from the book. Please try to make it neutral and check for paraphrasing

Composition

• James Bennighof, author of The Words and Music of Paul Simon, considers the churning, distorted groove and electronic instrumentation an accompanying textural element to the subject matter: suicidal suburban youth --> Rephrase this, and add quotes for the description because it seems like a quote from Bennighof
• The next two sentence I don't think you need quotes. You can easily rephrase them, its easy
• In "Old Friends", the title generally conveys the introduction or ending of sections --> How?
• The lyrics part is a real good job. Commendable
• The song analysis section I believe is part of the composition itself. What I feel would be better for the flow is first you have the thematic analysis, then you have the music details and the lyrical interpretation. I would suggest merge them and rearrange

Release

• which played album cuts and treated their music with respect --> What do you mean treated with respect?
• The release section also talks about the commercial aspects of the album, so the section title is misleading
• it remained on the chart as a whole for 66 weeks --> Lol, albums don't remain on parts on the chart, please change it to "it remained on the chart for a total of 66 weeks"
• , much as Clive Davis had predicted --> this part is not clear
• You are only talking about the album's performance in US, what about other countries listed in the chart section?
• Ref 44 for Melody Maker is used consecutively. Use it at the end only of the MM review

Legacy and other sections

• Simon was approached by numerous movie producers --> film producer
• Tracklisting please use the {{tracklist}} template
• The personnel move it before the charts
• Chart procession is decommissioned now. Please have just a "See also" section
• Many of the book references are incorrectly formatted in the Notes section. They do not go directly to the book once clicked. You need to check all of them

On hold now. —Indian:BIO ^{[ ChitChat ]} 11:07, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

All suggestions have been implemented. Thanks. Saginaw-hitchhiker (talk) 20:37, 12 July 2015 (UTC)

any updates on this Indian:BIO? Saginaw-hitchhiker (talk) 03:07, 19 July 2015 (UTC)

Saginaw-hitchhiker extremely sorry for making you wait so long. The changes are good but just 3 things we are pending. The personnel sections needs refernce and the charts need the WP:ACCESS parameters. You can refer maybe Rebel Heart for the parameters in the chart template. Finally, reference 12 for the NYtimes is unformatted and does not use {{cite news}} aswell as the one for Trevor Pug. After the changes we are good to go. —Indian:BIO ^{[ ChitChat ]} 05:34, 25 July 2015 (UTC)

Hi IndianBio I have resolved your three concerns. I am sure Saginaw-hitchhiker wouldn't mind to see these changes. :) -- Frankie _talk 18:47, 25 July 2015 (UTC)

Hi FrB.TG thanks for doing the changes because i have gone and placed the article as a GA. Congrats Saginaw :) —Indian:BIO ^{[ ChitChat ]} 06:02, 26 July 2015 (UTC)

thanks IndianBio and FrB.TG! Saginaw-hitchhiker (talk) 23:12, 27 July 2015 (UTC)