Talk:Born to Run/GA1

Latest comment: 9 months ago by Jurisdicta in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Tkbrett (talk · contribs) 14:30, 24 January 2024 (UTC)Reply


As promised. Tkbrett (✉) 14:30, 24 January 2024 (UTC)Reply

I think I will go bit by bit. Here is a start.

Lead

edit
  • I think including the release date in the opening sentence makes it a bit of a run-on; it may be simpler to just split the second half off: Born to Run is the third studio album by the American singer-songwriter Bruce Springsteen. It was released on August 25, 1975, by Columbia Records.
  • ... of his two previous albums: perhaps better to specify his first two albums.
  • Done
  • The recording sessions lasted from January 1974 to July 1975 in New York City as Springsteen's perfectionism led to arduous sessions with the E Street Band ...: the as could be a little confusing for someone reading the sentence for the first time – it was for me – as he may wonder what he did not pick up on in the first part of the sentence; in this case, you want to emphasize that the sessions were long, so you should lead with that. Maybe Springsteen's perfectionism led to arduous sessions with the E Street Band; recording sessions lasted from January 1974 to July 1975 in New York City, and six months were spent on the song "Born to Run" alone.
  • Done. I wanted to connect the fact that his perfectionism led to six months on one song, but I see what you mean reading it back.
  • Encompassing genres from rock and roll and pop rock to power pop and R&B, and featuring production similar to Phil Spector's Wall of Sound, the lyrics on Born to Run focus on characters who feel trapped and want to escape to a better life through roads and traveling. The subject of this sentence is "the lyrics on Born to Run", but I get the sense the genres and production style are supposed to apply to the album as a whole. Splitting the sentence will make this clearer. Born to Run encompasses genres from rock and roll and pop rock to power pop and R&B, and it features a production similar to Phil Spector's Wall of Sound. The album's lyrics focus on ...
  • Done
  • They are also more wide-reaching and less tied to the New Jersey area. Than what? His previous work?
  • Yep. Clarified.

Production history

edit
  • Completed in August 1974,[5] Springsteen was pleased with the final mix. The way this sentence is structured, you are saying Springsteen was completed in August 1974.
  • Fixed.
  • Believing he lacked direction,[48] Springsteen requested production advice from writer and producer Jon Landau ... This is ambiguous. Better: Springsteen felt he lacked direction,[48] and he requested production advice ...
  • Done
  • With a fresh perspective, Landau helped Springsteen regain focus ... This is saying Landau had a fresh perspective, but I think you mean Springsteen gained such.
  • Adjusted
  • For "Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out", Springsteen hired ... This is quite a run-on. I suggest reorganizing and splitting it. Perhaps: For "Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out", Springsteen hired the Brecker Brothers (Randy and Michael), David Sanborn, and Wayne Andre to play horn parts.[c][69] Springsteen and Bittan had failed to write proper horn parts by the time the players arrived to record,[69] and Springsteen's friend and former Steel Mill badmate Steven Van Zandt conceived parts on the spot in the studio.[70][71]
  • Much better.

Music and lyrics

edit
  • Taking inspiration from the 1958 film of the same name,[13] the song's narrator pleads ...: This is say that the song's narrator takes inspiration from the 1958 film. Is that what you mean to say?
  • ... with cinematic references and imagery out of a movie. This seems to me to be saying the same thing in two different ways.
  • All set.

The rest

edit
  • No issues big enough to mention here. I instead went through and changed things on my own. As always, please review them to make sure you do not to object to anything. [1][2]
  • In the sources, no locations are linked besides Santa Barbara and Cambridge. I doubt those need to be linked. but this is beyond the scope of a GA review. If you plan on taking it to FA status, bibliography formatting needs to be consistent.
  • Fixed.
  • Copyvio gives a score of 26.5%, indicating copyright violations are unlikely.
  • Images are all PD or have a justifiable fair use tag.
  •   On hold: Great read and quite well researched. A friend from a long time ago urged me to listen to this album, so it feels special for other reasons. I had not listened to it for a while before your nomination, but I put it on while I was walking through Greenwich Village at night, including walking past Cafe Wha? and other spots. Great experience and a great album. Tkbrett (✉) 19:58, 9 February 2024 (UTC)Reply