Talk:Boyz 4 Now/GA1
Latest comment: 10 years ago by Holiday56 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Taylor Trescott (talk · contribs) 19:16, 8 July 2014 (UTC)
Hi. I will do this review. Taylor Trescott - my talk + my edits 19:16, 8 July 2014 (UTC)
- This article should only have a 2 paragraph lead as it's only 8k characters (per WP:LEAD)
- Merged the second and third paragraphs together. Holiday56 (talk) 15:11, 10 July 2014 (UTC)
- I think a brief description of what tablescaping is would help
- Added to the lead. Holiday56 (talk) 15:11, 10 July 2014 (UTC)
- "and plans to wait out its duration outside" I don't think the "out its duration" is needed
- Rewritten. Holiday56 (talk) 15:11, 10 July 2014 (UTC)
- ""wanted to see what the state of the art was and [...] hadn't been that interested in Boyz II Men or Backstreet Boys or 'N Sync."" reads awkwardly. Try """wanted to see what the state of the art was" and he "hadn't been that interested in Boyz II Men or Backstreet Boys or 'N Sync.""
- Good call. Fixed. Holiday56 (talk) 15:11, 10 July 2014 (UTC)
- ""Louise is often seen as fearless, but her three-hour crush throws her for such a loop that she emerges with a newfound respect for Tina who deals with this every day."" I think you used the wrong reference here
- Not entirely sure what needs to be fixed here, but tweaked the sentence around a bit – feel free to point out if something's still off. Holiday56 (talk) 15:11, 10 July 2014 (UTC)
- You're citing Adams' article for Viruet's review. Taylor Trescott - my talk + my edits 15:12, 10 July 2014 (UTC)
- Ah, silly me. Fixed. Holiday56 (talk) 08:25, 11 July 2014 (UTC)
- You're citing Adams' article for Viruet's review. Taylor Trescott - my talk + my edits 15:12, 10 July 2014 (UTC)
- Not entirely sure what needs to be fixed here, but tweaked the sentence around a bit – feel free to point out if something's still off. Holiday56 (talk) 15:11, 10 July 2014 (UTC)
Overall looks OK. Do you plan to bring more Bob's Burgers articles to GAN? I did some work on The Unbearable Like-Likeness of Gene a while ago. Taylor Trescott - my talk + my edits 17:56, 9 July 2014 (UTC)
- Yeah, that's the plan – already finished a couple episodes which I plan to nominate soon, and hope to work on more when I find the time. Good work on the article, btw. Holiday56 (talk) 15:11, 10 July 2014 (UTC)