Talk:Brandon Carlo/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 01:53, 17 August 2022 (UTC)

I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:53, 17 August 2022 (UTC)

Images are correctly tagged.

• Career statistics section is unsourced.
• "On the new pairing, Carlo's defensive performance was uneven, most notably during a February game against the Vancouver Canucks in which Carlo finished the night with a −4 rating": if I understand this correctly, the rating refers to the plus/minus rating which means during this game, while Carlo was on the ice, the Bruins let in four more goals than they scored. I can see this is a useful statistic over multiple games, but for a single game wouldn't it be more informative to tell the reader that the Bruins let in five goals and only scored one?

  See below; I've changed my mind about this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 03:31, 17 August 2022 (UTC)

Looks good. These hockey articles do have a tendency to jargon, which may be invisible to someone knowledgeable in the game, but I think this one generally stays on the right side of the line. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 02:27, 17 August 2022 (UTC)

I had a further think about this, and called a friend who's not an editor but is knowledgeable about ice hockey, and after going over the jargon terms with him I think a couple more links to the glossary of ice hockey terms would be helpful. I had to look up what was meant by a pairing; not knowing much about hockey I didn't know there are only two defensemen on the ice. This is too obvious to an aficionado to explain inline, but if there were an entry in the glossary for "pairing" that would help. My expert friend said "partnering" has slightly more long-term connotations than "pairing" and it might be best to stick to "pairing", but if we can source a definition of "partnering" that could go in the glossary too. Another example is "rating"; I gather that my comment above is wrong, in that a plus/minus rating is heavily used to assess defensemen, so maybe that should stay as it is -- but if we linked from "rating" to plus/minus rating (even though it's already linked earlier) that would help a novice understand the terminology. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 03:25, 17 August 2022 (UTC)

Mike Christie I have added a reference to the career statistics section. As for the jargon, I have made two changes. I extended the WL for plus–minus to include the word "rating", but I don't want to add a duplicate link. As for "pairing", I have added a (albeit rudimentary) section on defensive pairs to Line (ice hockey) and have linked the first instance of "paired" in the lede and the body to that section. — GhostRiver 19:01, 6 September 2022 (UTC)

OK, I can go with that. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:02, 7 September 2022 (UTC)

Spotchecks:

• FN 76 cites "Carlo finished the tournament with two goals and four points in seven games": verified.
• FN 30 cites "Once his time with the Americans came to an end, Carlo began his professional career, joining the Providence Bruins, Boston's American Hockey League (AHL) affiliate, for the remainder of their 2015–16 season": technically this only verifies that he was reassigned, not that he stayed with them through the rest of the season; it's the sort of nitpick that might come up if you took this to FAC, so you might fix it, but I'm OK with it here.
• FN 59 cites "and he showed an offensive improvement in the first part of the season: through his first 35 games, he had already surpassed his previous season totals with three goals and 11 points": Verified.

These look good. Passing. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:02, 7 September 2022 (UTC)