Talk:Breaking News (song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Adabow (talk · contribs) 00:08, 1 March 2011 (UTC)

Some pre-review stuff:

• One dab link
• http://www.breakingnews.michaeljackson.com/ redirects
• Is there a specific webpage you can provide for the source of File:MJBreakingNews.jpg?
• How is MJWN reliable?
• If you can find more reliable sources to replace TMZ.com, that would be preferable, but if you can't then don't worry

Take care of these then I will carry out a full review. Adabow (talk · contribs) 00:08, 1 March 2011 (UTC)

Already fixed the dab link, changed the sources of breakingnews.michaeljackson.com, MJWN changed to another... About TMZ, all the other sites like Entertainment Weekly says "as reported by TMZ.com", I don't think it's necessary, since they only re-post what TMZ said. Sauloviegas (talk) 02:10, 1 March 2011 (UTC)

• The lead mentions nothing about the song's reception

 Done Sauloviegas (talk) 13:05, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

• File:MJBreakingNews.ogg needs a reduction in quality

 Done Sauloviegas (talk) 13:13, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

• Other tracks recorded during that time including "Monster" and "Keep Your Head Up" will be also included on the album Michael. - commas after "including" and "Keep Your Head Up", and isn't Michael already released?

 Done Sauloviegas (talk) 13:05, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

• Where are the writers and producers? (in prose)

 Done Sauloviegas (talk) 13:05, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

• The song opens with an intro consisting of snippets of news reports about Jackson's various controversies - source?

Removed, since there is no source that talks about the introduction consisting of snippets of news reports... Sauloviegas (talk) 13:05, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

• In the infobox you state that the song is R&B, but say nothing of this in the body

Searching for it... Sauloviegas (talk) 13:05, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

Still needs addressing Adabow (talk · contribs) 03:24, 16 March 2011 (UTC)

• Piece of Me → "Piece of Me" (2007)

 Done Sauloviegas (talk) 13:05, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

• Taxi Productions-owned Adult R&B panelist KJLH/Los Angeles's program director → Terri Thomas, program director of radio station KJLH

 Done Sauloviegas (talk) 13:05, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

• His quote also needs quote marks

 Done Sauloviegas (talk) 13:05, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

• The song title shouyld be in quote marks every time

 Done Sauloviegas (talk) 13:05, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

• Remove the new song from Michael

 Done Sauloviegas (talk) 13:05, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

• Infantry's quote should be in double-quote marks, ("), not singular ones (')

 Done Sauloviegas (talk) 13:05, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

• as well his sister La Toya, his nephews - and his nephews

 Done Sauloviegas (talk) 13:05, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

• It's also been noted because of this, many fans (the same ones who believe the song as well as "Keep Your Head Up" and "Monster") will pass on the album and future projects until this is rectified. - rewrite for better reading. Do not use contractions and brackets

 Done Sauloviegas (talk) 13:05, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

• Comma after Jason Malachi

 Done Sauloviegas (talk) 13:05, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

• Move the first sentence of the Chart performance section (Drawing a mixed...radio airplay) to near the end (before The song remained on the chart...)

 Done Sauloviegas (talk) 13:05, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

• on formats ranging from pop and R&B/hip-hop to adult, rock and oldies - this is almost directly from Billboard, please rewrite in your own words

 Done Sauloviegas (talk) 13:08, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

• References need cleanup: makes sure that print sources are in italics (eg Billboard), and web sources are not (eg MTV). Add publishers, eg to Billboard refs add Prometheus Global Media

I'll put the review on hold now; the major thing that concerns me is prose quality, especially in the Critical reception section. The other big thing is that the lead. There is still quite a bit of work to do. Adabow (talk · contribs) 06:50, 2 March 2011 (UTC)

• Further note, contractions are not allowed, except in quotes. Adabow (talk · contribs) 00:50, 6 March 2011 (UTC)

Is the article good to go now? No comments in a week and looks like everything was touched on. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 15:57, 15 March 2011 (UTC)

The genre needs inclusion in the body (with a source), and contractions need expanding. Adabow (talk · contribs) 03:26, 16 March 2011 (UTC)

Just noticed now: the release info must also be placed in prose. Adabow (talk · contribs) 03:27, 16 March 2011 (UTC)

• Unfortunately, due to the lack of response and the long hold period, I am failing this article. Give it a decent copy-edit and address all of the specific points I raised, then bring it back to GAN. Adabow (talk · contribs) 10:44, 19 March 2011 (UTC)