Talk:Brian Bolland/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Grandiose (talk · contribs) 10:25, 15 June 2012 (UTC) I'll be taking the review.

Comments

• The lead does not properly summarise the article; it is too short. In theory nothing in the lead should need citations because it's covered in the body, so once you've done this the citation needed tags can be reappraised.
• The article is very heavy on quotations. Keep WP:Close paraphrasing in mind and rewrite the sections to remove the quotations. Generally if you use so many, the surrounding words end up very similar and this is problematic.
• The article deviates from the Manual of Style in a number of respects: the use of bold and italics; the use of all caps; the use of links inside quotations (although hopefully the answer will be fewer quotations); the bibliography is too long (see 1b); dash/hyphen use;
• Half, maybe two-thirds, of the article is sourced to the subject. This seems rather unnecessary; surely much of the article could be soourced to third party work. Self-published sources are discouraged, because they have an inherent bias. It would probably help you to remove the quotations as well.
• The fair use rationale for the File:Hellstorm16.jpg image needs more information. Why is it not replaceable? Why is a representative image? "Apparent file taken from Marvel Comics official website." could we link to where it is from?

Because some of these things will take a fairly significant rewrite in terms of prose I'm placing the article on hold for seven days. It doesn't have to be done in seven days but I would like to see significant progress; at that stage all failing the article would do is to give you more time deadline-free to improve and resubmit. Grandiose (me, talk, contribs) 10:25, 15 June 2012 (UTC)

OK, I'm failing the article on these grounds. Do, however, feel free to renominate once these issues have been addressed. Grandiose (me, talk, contribs) 09:59, 22 June 2012 (UTC)