Talk:Brighton Palace Pier/GA1
Latest comment: 7 years ago by Ritchie333 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 09:36, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
- I'm not overwhelmed by the two-sentence opening paragraph of the lead, could use a little bit of expansion.
- I've dropped a bit more in. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
- "over 4 million visitors" four.
- "Carry on at Your Convenience " should have On not on.
- ooooh, matron Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
- I don't know where the discussion is but like "the Beatles", there seems to be a trend towards "the Who" not "The Who" in this setting.
- I think you're right - fixed. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
- " 85 miles" convert.
- Oops, forgot. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
- "3 months " three.
- " it had fallen into a state of repair" disrepair?
- "colliding into the " things usually "collide with" not "into".
- Changed to "colliding with"
- " in 1901, after opening" both are unnecessary, maybe "two years after opening"?
- Brighton Marine Palace and Pier should be a redirect to this article.
- "kursaals " what are these?
- Entertainment / health venues popular in 19th century continental Europe. I've dropped in a definition - we don't have an article (at least in the English Wikipedia)
- "mined " is piped to "sea mine" which redirects to "naval mine", cut out the middle man.
- "some decking removed as a security precaution. A section of decking was removed in order to prevent access from an enemy landing." is this saying the same thing twice or something else? Either way it's repetitive.
- This is what happens when you improve articles in random order without paying attention. Fixed. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
- Not sure there's a necessity to link storm.
- If you insist on linking "barge", do it first time.
- Don't think we need to do this. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
- Convert 70-ton.
- Stupid question - convert to what? Metric tonnes?
{{convert|70|ton|adj=on}}
brings up an error. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)- Does 70-long-ton (71 t) work? The Rambling Man (talk) 06:35, 16 August 2017 (UTC)
- Yup, it does. I think. I like this video, though. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 08:56, 16 August 2017 (UTC)
- Does 70-long-ton (71 t) work? The Rambling Man (talk) 06:35, 16 August 2017 (UTC)
- Stupid question - convert to what? Metric tonnes?
- " looks fairly modern " reads a little like a tourist brochure.
- I've rewritten this bit. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
- "2000-present" en-dash needed.
- Aah, Bungle doesn't hit the "fix dashes using a script" after his editing sessions :-P Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
- "or some " shouldn't that be "and" or "nor"?
- Changed to "nor some"
- " as the Palace Pier.[1] The Palace Pier suffered a large fire " repetitive prose, and really, really no need to link "fire". And "suffer a fire" is an odd turn of phrase.
- Agreed (the link must have already been there when I came across the article and I didn't spot it) Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
- "This was a fraught period for Brighton's piers, with much damage occurring to the West Pier shortly before and after this event" I don't really understand, if "this event" means the fire, how did "much damage" "occur" "shortly before" it?
- I didn't write this, I just borrowed sources from West Pier. However, since the two fires are not actually related (at least not outside maybe a conspiracy theory website, which wouldn't pass WP:RS anyway), I've removed this. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
- "In 2004 the " comma.
- " Brighton and Hove Council," missing a "City"?
- "unexpectedly put the pier for sale, with an expected" unexpectedly ... expected... is odd to read in the same sentence.
- Removed "unexpectedly" (unexpected in whose opinion) Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
- "PizzaExpress" appears to be one word.
- Well that's what the article's under, though I see it's been challenged and to be honest I agree that the WP:COMMONNAME has two words. (Plus the BBC source used here also uses two words). Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
- "roller coaster" or "rollercoaster"?
- Since the article has a space, I'll go with that. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
- Mirrormask -> MirrorMask.
- "The Brighton Marine Palace and Pier and Brighton Beach as viewed from the west" why the italics in that caption?
- Not a clue - fixed Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
- Could link National Express.
- Works in references should be in italics e.g., The Argus.
- Publisher of ref 5 simply says "Southern", what should it be?
- Well that's what it's called, our article is at Southern (Govia Thameslink Railway). I've put a link in the ref. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
That's it for the moment. The Rambling Man (talk) 10:06, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
- @The Rambling Man: - All addressed, I think only converting tons is still an issue. Anything else? Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
- All good, thanks. The Rambling Man (talk) 09:24, 16 August 2017 (UTC)
- Good show, have an ice cream and stick of rock as my appreciation. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 09:41, 16 August 2017 (UTC)
- All good, thanks. The Rambling Man (talk) 09:24, 16 August 2017 (UTC)
- @The Rambling Man: - All addressed, I think only converting tons is still an issue. Anything else? Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:07, 15 August 2017 (UTC)