Talk:Brunei at the 2012 Summer Olympics/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: DatGuy (talk · contribs) 11:45, 18 February 2017 (UTC)

Criteria

Good Article Status - Review Criteria

Further information: WP:WIAGA

A good article is—

1. Well-written:

(a) the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct; and

(b) it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.

2. Verifiable with no original research:

(a) it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline;

(b) reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose);

(c) it contains no original research; and

(d) it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.

3. Broad in its coverage:

(a) it addresses the main aspects of the topic; and

(b) it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).

4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:

(a) media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content; and

(b) media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.

Review

1. Well-written:

Criteria	Notes	Result
(a) (prose)	Brunei, as Brunei Darussalam, competed at the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, which was held from 27 July to 12 August 2012. I don't understand what as Brunei Darussalam does? Is it like Maldives and The Maldives? Is it the common name vs official name? Brunei Darussalam is the country's official name All three athletes failed to advance beyond the heat stages of their respective events but Mahusin and Lim achieved new national records in athletics and swimming. Needs a comma after events.  Done it had intended to do so, but was expelled on the day of the opening ceremony after failing to register any athletes. Even though the title says it, expelled is quite a strong word. Could it be changed? Changed to excluded Along with the three athletes the Brunei Olympic team's delegation was led by chef de mission Hj Mohd Zamri Dato Paduka Hj Hamdani. Needs a comma after athletes.  Done She qualified for the games via a wildcard, because her best time of one minute and 1.14 seconds, recorded at the Southeast Asian Youth Athletics Championships, was 13.59 seconds slower than the "B" qualifying standard for her event, the women's 400 metres Too many commas.  Done Mahusin took part in the contest's sixth heat on 3 August, finishing seventh out of eight runners, with a time of 59.28 seconds. Comma after runners is unnecessary Removed Overall she ranked 41st out of 45 athletes,[b] and did not progress into the semi-final after finishing 7.15 seconds slower than the slowest competitor who advanced to the later rounds. Rewrite sentence. My suggestion is Overall, she ranked 41st out of 45 athletes[b]. She did not progress into the semi-finals after finisheding 7.15 seconds more than the slowest competitor, who advanced to the later rounds. Rewritten as suggested After the games Mahusin stated she did not expect to set a new national record having been unwell before the contest but was proud of herself and hoped to compete at the Rio Olympics. Comma after games  Done Question: Is it a universality or an universality? The first answer Lim qualified for the games via a universality place awarded by FINA because his fastest time of two minutes and 6.40 seconds did not reach the "A" or "B" standard entry times for his event, the men's 200 metre freestyle,[17][18] signifying Brunei's first appearance in Olympic swimming competition Run-on sentence Rewritten He was drawn in the contest's first heat on 29 July, finishing third (and last) of three swimmers, with a time of two minutes and 2.26 seconds. Comma after swimmers is unnecessary Removed Overall he finished 40th (and last) of all competitors,[c] and was unable to progress to the semi-finals after finishing 14.71 seconds slower than the slowest athlete who progressed to the later stages Rewrite. My suggestion: Overall, he finished 40th (and last) of all competitors,[c] and was unable to progress to the semi-finals. Try and place the following part somewhere or just remove it. Rewritten sentence	Pass
(b) (MoS)	I believe début should not have an accent over the e, regardless of the etymology  Done Brunei Darussalam - Why is it italicised? (Question, not asking to change it yet :)) Brunei, as Brunei Darussalam, competed at the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, which was held from 27 July to 12 August 2012. I suggest bolding Brunei and 2012 Summer Olympics.  Done Do not use nowiki to not link the last letter in links, such as "wildcards". See Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style/Linking#Piped_links  Done	Pass

2. Verifiable with no original research:

Criteria	Notes	Result
(a) (references)	Can you add an accessdate for ref 1? Added	Pass
(b) (citations to reliable sources)	The reviewer has no notes here.	Pass
(c) (original research)	The reviewer has no notes here.	Pass
(d) (copyvio and plagiarism)	The reviewer has no notes here.	Pass

• Great job on this one. Dat Guy^Talk_Contribs 13:38, 18 February 2017 (UTC)

Broad in its coverage:

Criteria	Notes	Result
(a) (major aspects)	The reviewer has no notes here.	Pass
(b) (focused)	Usually, an NOC would be able to enter up to three qualified athletes in each individual event as long as each athlete met the "A" standard, or one athlete per event if they met the "B" standard. What are the A and B standards? Either replace the letters with the description or explain what the letters mean later in the paragraph. For swimming they are known as "Olympic Qualifying Times" and "FINA/Olympic Invitational Times" but athletics states them simply as "A" and "B" standards.	Pass

Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.

Notes	Result
The reviewer has no notes here.	Pass

Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.

Notes	Result
The reviewer has no notes here.	Pass

Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:

Criteria	Notes	Result
(a) (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales)	So, I take there are no photos of the competitors themselves? Not at the present moment	Pass
(b) (appropriate use with suitable captions)	The reviewer has no notes here.	Pass

Result

Result	Notes
Pass	Since this is my second review, I'll ask for a second opinion. Kees08 has given his comments for the second review. Passing this article :). Dat GuyTalkContribs 11:58, 25 February 2017 (UTC)

Discussion

Please add any related discussion here.

• Second review! Dat Guy^Talk_Contribs 11:45, 18 February 2017 (UTC)
  • Thank you very much for the review DatGuy. I have taken action on the above points where appropriate. MWright96 (talk) 07:01, 19 February 2017 (UTC)

Additional comments (as the second opinion):

From:Brunei, officially as Brunei Darussalam,

To: Brunei, officially known as Brunei Darussalam,

•  Done MWright96 (talk) 19:48, 24 February 2017 (UTC)

I'll leave this between you two, but it is known as track and field pretty much only in the United States. Otherwise it is known as athletics.

• Changed to athletics. MWright96 (talk) 19:48, 24 February 2017 (UTC)

The punctuation in this sentence is not correct: The Brunei delegation included two track and field athletes: Ak Hafiy Tajuddin Rositi and Maziah Mahusin, and one swimmer, Anderson Lim.

•  Done MWright96 (talk) 19:48, 24 February 2017 (UTC)

Typo here: Mahusin was the flag bearer for the opening ceremonywhile

• Fixed MWright96 (talk) 19:48, 24 February 2017 (UTC)

Is this sentence relevant for the background?: Brunei competed in the London Summer Games from 27 July to 12 August 2012

• I believe it to be so. MWright96 (talk) 19:48, 24 February 2017 (UTC)

Capitalize games: qualified for the games

•  Done MWright96 (talk) 19:49, 24 February 2017 (UTC)

All the other criteria seem to be met.

• @Kees08: May I ask if there are any other issues that need to be rectified? MWright96 (talk) 19:51, 24 February 2017 (UTC)

I am good, you can ask @DatGuy: if he has anything else. Kees08 (talk) 19:54, 24 February 2017 (UTC)