Talk:Buenos Amigos/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 13:59, 5 August 2013 (UTC)

Comments

• Álvaro Torres has a diacritic.
• "artist Selena from his sixth studio album" odd one this, but unless you know for sure that Selena is a female, this sentence could be confusing.
• "the song explores a friendship built on stronger feelings by the male narrator, whilst the female narrator only wants to stay friends as her feelings are not the same." I know what you're saying here, but this isn't ideal prose. It's a song exploring a relationship where the male narrator's feelings are stronger than those of the female, need to think of a good way to reword.
• "Thinking negativity about the outcome" -> again, poor prose, but at the least you would say "Thinking negatively" but it still could use a re-word.
• "first top charter" do you mean "first chart topper"?
• "The recording helped Selena an..." so it was this recording among others? Or were they nominated for this recording? If the latter, then it should be "recording led to", if the former then we may need to look for a more wholesale reword.
• ""Buenos Amigos" was written by Salvadoran recording artist Alvaro Torres" yes, cover it again, but don't pretty much repeat it and relink it verbatim.
• "a showcase that American Tejano pop singer Selena was" -> "a showcase in which American ..."
• "Torres instantly wanted" immediately is a little more usual than "instantly".
• "Torres told Selena Remembered" -> "Torres said in..."
• "death in 1995, by her friend and ex-employer Yolanda Saldivar,[6]" you have death "by" someone, you can be murdered "by" someone. Needs reword, or just to focus on Selena's death, not how it happened, which isn't strictly relevant here. Or you could say "following Selena's murder" or something?
• ""Yo la invité a cantar conmigo cuando ella no era muy conocida, y escribí el tema "Buenos amigos"; esa canción me trae gratos recuerdos. La gente nunca olvidará a Selena y esa melodía es una de mis preferidas."[18]" yeah, this isn't very helpful in English-language Wikipedia is it?
• "orchestra-instrumentation " no need for hyphen, and perhaps just "orchestra instruments"
• "hurt her severally" severely.
• "Supplement A-Z" en-dash.
• Who is Joe Nick Patoski and why should I care what he says?
• "It contains both artists" It features...
• Spaced or unspaced em-dashes used throughout the latter sections of the article? be consistent.
• "this wasn't enough" avoid contractions.
• All non-English references should have a language parameter added.
• Ref 1 has a spare full stop.
• English-language sources don't need "in English".
• We have Category:Álvaro Torres songs and Category:Songs written by Álvaro Torres, what's the difference?

A lot of work to do. I know how keen you'll be to fix it all so I'll put the article on hold for a week, but after that I'll fail it, it needs to have some good work done on the prose. The Rambling Man (talk) 14:59, 5 August 2013 (UTC)

 Doing... jona^{talk to me} 18:01, 12 August 2013 (UTC)

User:AJona1992, can I have an update on this please? It's been nearly two weeks. The Rambling Man (talk) 14:29, 24 August 2013 (UTC)

I checked AJona1992's contributions list to see what was going on. His most recent edit was the above notice. He has not edited the article attached to this nomination since May; the last edit to the article by anyone was in July. LazyBastardGuy 20:30, 26 August 2013 (UTC)

Ok, I'll fail this for the moment. The Rambling Man (talk) 17:50, 28 August 2013 (UTC)