Talk:Bump Elliott

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• Please expand the lead to conform with guidelines at Wikipedia:Lead. The article should have an appropriate number of paragraphs as is shown on WP:LEAD, and should adequately summarize the article.^[?]Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 06:02, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
• Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Manual of Style (dates), months and days of the week generally should not be linked. Years, decades, and centuries can be linked if they provide context for the article.^[?]
• Per Wikipedia:What is a featured article?, Images should have concise captions.^[?]Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 06:04, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
• You may wish to consider adding an appropriate infobox for this article, if one exists relating to the topic of the article. ^[?] (Note that there might not be an applicable infobox; remember that these suggestions are not generated manually)Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 05:55, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
• If this article is about a person, please add {{persondata|PLEASE SEE [[WP:PDATA]]!}} along with the required parameters to the article - see Wikipedia:Persondata for more information.^[?]
• Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (numbers), there should be a non-breaking space -   between a number and the unit of measurement. For example, instead of 52 yard, use 52 yard, which when you are editing the page, should look like: 52 yard.^[?]
• Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Build the web, years with full dates should be linked; for example, if January 15, 2006 appeared in the article, link it as January 15, 2006.^[?]
• Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (headings), headings generally do not start with articles ('the', 'a(n)'). For example, if there was a section called ==The Biography==, it should be changed to ==Biography==.^[?]Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 06:06, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
• Please reorder/rename the last few sections to follow guidelines at Wikipedia:Guide to layout.^[?]Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 07:29, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
• The script has spotted the following contractions: shouldn't, didn't, if these are outside of quotations, they should be expanded.

• From direct quote.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 06:11, 31 December 2007 (UTC)

• Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.^[?]

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 04:31, 31 December 2007 (UTC)

GA review

GA review (see here for criteria)

---

Short choppy paragraphs. A few quotations need citations. Fair use rationale for the logos

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

   Needs some prose tweaks to make the prose flow a bit better

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

   A couple of quotations need citations attached.

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

   Need fair use rationales for the logos

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Lede's good!

Details:

• Template:PersondataYCbl62 (talk) 03:05, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
• I got the ndashes, and unlinked a few standalone year dates. WP:MOSNUM says don't link single years.
• Early life section, last sentence of the first paragraph the quotation needs a citation on it. Easy fix is to just switch the quotation to the end of the sentence.YCbl62 (talk) 03:08, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
• Same for Purdue section, the fourth sentence in the first paragraph.YCbl62 (talk) 03:11, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
• Same section, the third paragraph, it is unclear from the context what 'transfer orders' mean. Explain that he was called up for the Marines.Probably can be combined with the following item.YCbl62 (talk) 03:15, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
• Same section, the last sentence is too short, it can be combined with the previous paragraph.YCbl62 (talk) 03:17, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
• U of M section, the Big Nine MVP subsection. Lots of short choppy sentences. Consider merging or expanding.Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 19:28, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
• Same for the 1948 Rose Bowl subsection.Y--Cbl62 (talk) 03:21, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
• And again for the Elliott brothers, which might also work better broken up into subsections, the college one under the U of M, the other under coaching.Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 19:34, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
• Another short paragraph in the Coaching section, Assistant coach subsection, the last paragraph.Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 19:58, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
• Same section, Head coach at U of M subsection, the last sentence of the second paragraph could use a citation, since is verging on an opinion.
• Same section and subsection, the last paragraph is only one sentence. Consider merging or expanding.Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 19:59, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
• Athletic director section, fifth paragraph, need a citation for "a coach's AD".YCbl62 (talk) 03:21, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
• Same section. Last paragraph is one sentence, consider expanding or merging. Also a number of the other paragraphs in here are pretty short, which gives the whole section a choppy to the prose.Y Cbl62 (talk) 03:28, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
• For future reference... Wikipedia:WikiProject Succession Box Standardization has put out a new system. The new system uses a new box and headers. The documentation is here Template:S-start. Once you get used to it, it's an easier system. Tony: I'm not familiar with succession boxes. Is this something you could fix??Cbl62 (talk) 06:19, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
• Need specific to the page fair use rationales for the U of M logo, and probably the Hawkeyes logo.Also the captions for them could be a bit more... interesting?Y--I removed the logos. Since inserting them, I've read that they aren't supposed to be used except in articles on the institution itself.Cbl62 (talk) 03:02, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
• Not sure what the two Paragraph symbols are doing at the end of the article. ?? I don't see them. Have they already been removed? Cbl62 (talk) 03:28, 8 February 2008 (UTC)

They are gone now. Maybe putting in the persondata got them. Ealdgyth | Talk 03:33, 8 February 2008 (UTC)

I removed them yesterday.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 16:26, 8 February 2008 (UTC)

I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on.

Ya'll know the drill.Ealdgyth | Talk 16:59, 7 February 2008 (UTC)

This sentence "Shortly after the game, Elliott resigned, and athletic director Don Canham hired Bo Schembechler to replace him as head coach. Schembechler would use the memory of the 1968 Ohio State loss to motivate his team the following season." in the Coaching career section really needs a citation. It's giving a motivation to Bo that needs some sort of citation otherwise it's original research. Otherwise everything looks good. The succession box thing is more for future reference, than something I'm going to quibble over. Ealdgyth | Talk 16:36, 8 February 2008 (UTC)Y The statement come from the Grady article, and I added a citation for it. Cbl62 (talk) 23:14, 8 February 2008 (UTC)

Looks great, passing it now. Ealdgyth | Talk 23:23, 8 February 2008 (UTC)

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