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Talk:Burt's solar compass/GA2

< Talk:Burt's solar compass
Latest comment: 4 years ago by The Most Comfortable Chair in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 4 years ago61 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewer: The Most Comfortable Chair (talk · contribs) 17:59, 27 August 2020 (UTC)Reply

Hello. I will be done with the review in a day or two. Thanks. — The Most Comfortable Chair 17:59, 27 August 2020 (UTC)Reply

Lead

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  • "Burt's Solar Compass or Astronomical Compass" — From the "History" section. Since it was called this when it was made (and since then), mention "astronomical compass" using "or", or in brackets.
  • "It was used by surveyors from the nineteenth century into the twentieth century." — "century" should be used only once.
  • "for its technology as being simple, rugged, inexpensive, reliable and accurate." — This part should be covered in the prose.

History of Burt compass

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  • Title of this section should be "History".
  • "He and his surveying crew by 1834 were surveying territory in the lower peninsula of Michigan" → "By 1834, he and his surveying crew were surveying territory in the lower peninsula of Michigan".
  • "It got away from the vagaries of the magnetic compass caused by iron ore deposits in a local land mass district." — Could use better phrasing instead of "it got away". Something like "It overcame"?
  • Minor point, but either use "magnetic needle compass" or "magnetic compass" throughout the section.
  • "Because of his accidental discovery of these iron deposits in Michigan he contributed much to America's Industrial Revolution." → "His accidental discovery of these iron deposits in Michigan contributed much to America's Industrial Revolution."
  • "The Calumet and Hecla Mine of Michigan's Copper Country was the leading copper producer in the world and discovered with Burt's instrument." → "The Calumet and Hecla Mine of Michigan's Copper Country was discovered with Burt's instrument, which became the leading copper producer in the world."
  • "enables surveyors to run more accurate lines, saving the surveyor much time." — "surveyor" should be mentioned once.
  • "It has since been referred to as Burt's Solar Compass or Astronomical Compass." — Initial letters should not be in caps and should be consistent with the article title, unless it was originally written with caps. If the latter is true, use "Burt's Solar Compass" or "Astronomical Compass".
  • Can we mention specific changes he made? After "Burt improved on the instrument over the years and in 1840 he received another patent on his solar compass."
  Done -- Burt improved on the instrument over the years with certain mechanics to make it simpler to operate with better accuracy.[12] Will this work?--Doug Coldwell (talk) 16:21, 29 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "Cincinnati Land Office" → "the Federal Land Office". Since it is mentioned with that term later on and that is the official name.
  • "Renown" → "Renowned".
  • "until well into the twentieth century" — It should be more specific instead of "well into".
  • "magnetic style compass" → "magnetic needle compass" or "magnetic compass", whichever is used consistently as per above.
  • "A solar compass attachment to the surveyor's transit, was still the recommended method to use for obtaining the true north" → "A solar compass attachment to the surveyor's transit was still the recommended method for obtaining the true north"
  • "Burt's instrument invented in 1835" — remove "invented in 1835".
  • "used to survey 75 per cent of the public lands of the United States, consisting of nearly a billion acres ... while with Burt's solar compass it was only $15 per mile." — this whole paragraph could be moved to the "Awards" section, renaming it as "Reception" or "Legacy" instead (see my suggestion below).
  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:04, 29 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "Burt patented his solar compass innovation on February 25, 1836.[23]" — Repetition, so remove it from the second last paragraph.
  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:04, 29 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "He used it during two seasons, 1836–1837 and 1842–1843, surveying land in Iowa.[24]" — This should be moved up in the third paragraph to follow a clear timeline.
  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:04, 29 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "The land commissioner committee, who consisted of" → "The land commissioner committee, which consisted of".
  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:04, 29 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "Burt did as was suggested to him on the faith he would get paid for his patent of such a valuable instrument." → "Burt did as was suggested believing that he would be compensated appropriately."
  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:04, 29 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "The inventor spent thousands of dollars to perfect his instrument, but only received back eighty dollars in compensation for his labors." — Compensation from?
  • "Key to Solar Compass and Surveyor's Companion published in 1858" → "Key to Solar Compass and Surveyor's (1858).
  • "A much better guide for the surveyor than the magnetic needle compass was desired." → "A more accurate guide for the surveyor than the magnetic needle compass was desired."
  • "Burt's diligent hard work, persistence and perseverance ultimately paid off in the invention of the Solar or Astronomical Compass." — This sounds promotional so either use the actual quote in "..." or simply mention "so the Solar or Astronomical Compass was created" and merge it with the previous sentence.
  • Details from the fourth paragraph should be mentioned in the final paragraph of this section. Lines such as "from the mid nineteenth century until well into the twentieth century it was mandatory for government surveying" and "a solar compass attachment to the surveyor's transit, was still the recommended method for obtaining the true north direction as instructed in the 1973 surveyor's manual of the US Bureau of Land Management" should come at the end of "History" for a proper flow of timeline.
  • Is it still used in the twenty-first century? If yes, mention that in a line or so at the very end. If not, mention what they use now instead.

Description of Burt's solar compass

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  • Title of this section should be "Description".

Principle of operation

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  • "Surveyors can locate true north by viewing the sun or other astronomical object like stars or the moon, which have a direction from any given point on the surface of the Earth which can be calculated precisely for a given date and time, and which is not influenced by local variations in the magnetic field due to local deposits of minerals such as iron ore." → "Surveyors can locate true north by viewing the sun or other astronomical object like stars or the moon, which have a direction from any given point on the surface of the Earth. It can be calculated precisely for a given date and time, and is not influenced by local variations in the magnetic field due to local deposits of minerals such as iron ore."
  • "direction by reference to the sun" → "in reference to the sun".
  • The third paragraph needs citations.
  • "To understand the functions of the parts of the solar compass, it is necessary to understand the apparent motion..." → "Application of the solar compass requires knowledge of the apparent motion..." Or something else, but it should not read like a guide.
  • Latter half of the fourth paragraph will require citations.
  • "This angle causes the altitude angle of the sun to vary with the seasons, by an amount which depends on the direction of the misalignment, and which varies predictably throughout the year, increasing and decreasing smoothly at a calculable rate, and is constant for everywhere on earth at the same time." — It is too long. Break it down into two sentences.
  • The fifth paragraph requires citations.
  • "from the rising sun to the setting sun." → "from the rising to the setting sun."
  • "The instrument has an equatorial movement, with a It also has a mechanical attachment for sighting a star as a reference." → "The instrument has an equatorial movement, with a mechanical attachment for sighting a star as a reference."

Construction of a typical model

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  • Title should be "Construction and operation".
  • Remove div command from the image description as a caption should begin from the left as it normally does.
  • "At one one end of the" → "At one end of the".

Awards

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  • Title of this section should be renamed to "Reception" or "Legacy". And praise it received when it was introduced, historical comments, and the impact it had should be talked about. "for its technology as being simple, rugged, inexpensive, reliable and accurate" from the "Lead" can be covered in here, along with that paragraph from "History". Reception is an important aspect for the "broad in its coverage" criteria of GA. As it is, it does not cover enough in this section.
  • "prize medal award" — can use just one of these words.
  • "He then received another medal by jurors of Astronomical Instruments." — when and for what?

References

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  • References use different date formats. Please use only one.
  • Reference 19 needs proper formatting.
  • Reference 26 and 29 need expansion with date, publisher, author, etc.
  • Reference 32 needs to be linked to its source in "Sources".

Sources

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  • This section seems to have sources that are not used as inline citation in the prose. If they are not used as inline citation and are not specific to the topic, please remove them. If they are not used for inline citation and are specific to the topic, a new section "Further reading" could be created and they could be moved there.

That should be all for now. It was a good read and it should pass. Thank you for all your work. — The Most Comfortable Chair 08:13, 29 August 2020 (UTC)Reply

  • Doug Coldwell, just a clarification. This paragraph that you moved to "Reception" should be moved back to the Lead. What I suggested was that you keep the paragraph in the Lead, and expand upon its last line "It won awards from various organizations and was used by surveyors from the nineteenth into the twentieth century" in the "Reception" section. That way the Lead will have a brief summary of the "Reception" section and it will also help with expanding the "Reception" section. I appreciate your prompt efforts. Cheers. — The Most Comfortable Chair 13:42, 29 August 2020 (UTC)Reply

Final

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GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):   d (copyvio and plagiarism):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  

Thank you for your hard work, Doug Coldwell. You have done an amazing job! — The Most Comfortable Chair 12:52, 30 August 2020 (UTC)Reply

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