Talk:Byne's disease
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![]() | A fact from this article appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the "Did you know?" column on October 5, 2009. The text of the entry was: Did you know ... that Byne's disease is not actually a disease, but a chemical reaction that attacks shells in storage or on display? |
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GA Review
edit- This review is transcluded from Talk:Byne's disease/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 04:43, 15 November 2009 (UTC)
Hi, I'll begin reviewing here, and will make straightforward changes as I go (hopefully with explanations in edit summaries). Feel free to revert changes which inadvertently change the meaning. I will post queries below. Casliber (talk · contribs) 04:43, 15 November 2009 (UTC)
For flow in the lead, I think I'd put para 2 above para 3 as one wants to know what it is before what else it attacks.
- I agree. Done!--Daniel Cavallari (talk) 19:07, 15 November 2009 (UTC)
- I would have thought 'alkaline' was more widely understood and less ambiguous than 'basic' these days...(?)
- I feel the material is too short in the History section to warrant subsection. It also interrupts with the flow of storytelling.
The first time someone is mentioned by name, I feel adding a couple of descriptors is valuable in understanding (usually nationality and occupation, eg. English naturalist, American zoologist etc.)
Their deep analysis, involving many complex and sophisticated techniques,... - this leaves me curious, and does come across as a little patronising - eg 'too complicated for you poor readers to know.' I am sure some discussion can be included here :)
- Yes, I believe you are right. I have access to this paper, so I put in some more detail. Surprisingly enough, there were articles covering all the techniques. That's very good! --Daniel Cavallari (talk) 16:07, 15 November 2009 (UTC)
- Details of the chemical reactions is a little unwieldy as a heading. Could be simply 'chemistry' or even 'biochemistry'.
Second Reviewer: --Snek01 (talk) 18:53, 15 November 2009 (UTC)
1. Well written?:
- Prose quality: will not be checked (I am not good at English.)
- Improve this "In the first case," to much detailed.
- Manual of Style compliance:
- proposal: Clarification and Resolution merge to "Discovery of the cause".
- proposal: Process Rename to "Chemistry" and ommitt caption name "Details of the chemical reactions". (Add PVC reaction if needed.)
- proposal: Add wikilinks to the materials in table row "Archival materials without acidic fumes". Added.
2. Factually accurate and verifiable?:
- References to sources:
- Not referenced PVC problem.
- Done.
- Citations to reliable sources, where required:
- No original research:
3. Broad in coverage?:
- Major aspects:
- Not explained, why the PVC is problem.
- Done.
- Now explained and supported by Sturm (2006).--Daniel Cavallari (talk) 22:38, 15 November 2009 (UTC)
- Focused:
4. Reflects a neutral point of view?:
- Fair representation without bias:
5. Reasonably stable?
- No edit wars, etc. (Vandalism does not count against GA):
6. Illustrated by images, when possible and appropriate?:
- Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
- One alt text missing.
- I will crop the File:File:Bynesian Decay 001.JPG. May I? --Snek01 (talk) 18:53, 15 November 2009 (UTC)
- Sure! Please go ahead.--Daniel Cavallari (talk) 19:04, 15 November 2009 (UTC)
- Cropped and colors altered. --Snek01 (talk) 23:20, 16 November 2009 (UTC)
- What about to add one sentence about an alternative way/ways(?) of storage? The only alternative is ethanol, I think.
- A link to display case... ?
--Snek01 (talk) 23:30, 16 November 2009 (UTC)
okay, we're over the line...Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:35, 17 November 2009 (UTC)
External links modified
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