Talk:Bytown Mechanics' Institute

Latest comment: 4 years ago by Jkgree in topic Name change, etc.

Name change, etc.

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The article refers to "the name change of the town." It was not clear to me what this was referring to, but after it percolated in my brain a while, I came to suspect that "Bytown" was the former name of "Ottawa". (Although it would be easy to check Wikipedia for this, I haven't done it.) If this is the case, that should be stated clearly. (And if it's not the case, maybe clarify what the "name change" is referring to, or perhaps drop it.)

I made some assumptions in my edits; if I inadvertently introduced any error, please correct it.

Other thoughts --

  • I think the first paragraph is too wordy. I was also thrown by the early statement: "which, in part, explains their failure." Whoa! Who said anything about failure? At first I wanted to flag this as possible original research, but then I noticed that footnote 2 is about the institute's failure, so this is likely the source. Maybe this can be footnoted too, or reworded?

Under History

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  • • The third paragraph begins: "Lack of participation had several causes." This also sounds abrupt to me. Who didn't participate? How should I have known that lack of participation was an issue? This could probably be helped with a bit of an introduction.
  • • Tiny point (in same paragraph): "used French language institutions." This could probably benefit by having a more precise word than used.
  • • It seems to me that the French name, Institute canadien français d'Ottawa, is (a) missing an article (i.e.-- "el apostrophe [l']", and (b) my French ain't so great, but I seem to remember that there's no final "e" on "institut" in French. Could be wrong, though.

Under Lecture sample

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  • • The sentence beginning, "Although never intended for them," is a mismatched clause. The next thing following this introduction should refer to the lectures, not to women. I wasn't sure how to do it, but this sentence should be restructured.

Jkgree (talk) 19:12, 11 February 2020 (UTC)Reply