Talk:Carpenter Street (Star Trek: Enterprise)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: 23W (talk · contribs) 06:17, 29 January 2015 (UTC)

• "something that was attributed to pre-Thanksgiving travel": rephrase as "a decline that was attributed ..."

• Done. Miyagawa (talk) 11:00, 31 January 2015 (UTC)

• "The critical response was mostly negative": rephrase as "Critical response was mostly negative".

• Changed as suggested. Miyagawa (talk) 11:00, 31 January 2015 (UTC)

• "Using a hand scanner": comma after scanner.

• Added. Miyagawa (talk) 11:00, 31 January 2015 (UTC)

• I notice a lot of thens in the plot section. Most of them can be removed, as the section already moves in the historical present tense.

• I've gone through and removed them. Miyagawa (talk) 11:00, 31 January 2015 (UTC)

• "his sixth of the series": sixth what?

• It was missing "episode" - now added. Miyagawa (talk) 11:00, 31 January 2015 (UTC)

• "He has also previously": shorten to "He previously".

• Done. Miyagawa (talk) 11:00, 31 January 2015 (UTC)

• "who appeared for fourth occasion": fourth occasion or four occasions?

• Should have been "the fourth occasion". The second half of the sentence also didn't make a great deal of sense in that context, so I added a couple of words to improve the flow (and general understanding of what I was trying to say! :) ). Miyagawa (talk) 11:00, 31 January 2015 (UTC)

• Are the days of the week relevant in the last paragraph of the production section?

• Nope, I've removed them. Miyagawa (talk) 11:00, 31 January 2015 (UTC)

Cool article. On hold for 14 days. 23W 09:27, 31 January 2015 (UTC)

• Thanks for reviewing! Much appreciated. Miyagawa (talk) 11:00, 31 January 2015 (UTC)

• You're welcome! 23W 19:39, 31 January 2015 (UTC)