Talk:Cathay Pacific/GA1

GA Review

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Comments:

1. The lead of the article is a little short. Can more information be added to provide a summary of the article per WP:LEAD? Expanded with more information as requested. Aviator006 (talk) 12:01, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
2. Avoid overlinking to the same term in the same section more than once. For example "Hong Kong" is linked to twice in the Early years section. I have gone through the whole article to ensure no single term is linked more than once in each section. Aviator006 (talk) 05:18, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
3. The sentence "The airline prospered into the 1960s, buying rival Hong Kong Airways in 1959, carrying its one-millionth passenger in 1964, recording double digit growth from 1962 to 1967, acquiring its first jet engined aircraft Convair 880 and beginning international routes to airports in Japan." sounds fragmented and should be rephrased. Rephrased to "The airline prospered in late 1950s and into the 1960s by buying its archrival, Hong Kong Airways, on 1 July 1959. Between 1962 and 1967, the airline recorded double digit growth on average every year and the world's first to operate international services to Fukuoka, Nagoya and Osaka in Japan. Eighteen years after the airline was founded, it carried its one millionth passenger and acquired its first jet engine aircraft Convair 880 in 1964." Aviator006 (talk) 14:13, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
4. Try not to use "Cathay Pacific" in every sentence. Rationalised the usage of "Cathay Pacific" as per your suggestion, by using "the airline" or "its", where appropriate. Aviator006 (talk) 13:27, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
5. The sentence "In 1986, Cathay Pacific went public." is very short. Updated to "On 15 May 1986, the airline went public and listed in the Main Board of the Hong Kong Stock Exchange." Aviator006 (talk) 08:01, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
6. "On the same year": "on" should be removed. Updated as per your suggestion. Aviator006 (talk) 08:01, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
7. "Hong Kong Kai Tak Airport" two wikilinked terms should not touch. Hong Kong should probably be delinked here. Re-wikilinked as [[Kai Tak Airport|Hong Kong Kai Tak Airport]]. Aviator006 (talk) 05:18, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
8. "New York John F. Kennedy International Airport": rephrase to "John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York City". Re-wikilinked as [[John F. Kennedy International Airport|New York John F. Kennedy International Airport]]. Aviator006 (talk) 05:18, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
9. Citation needed for "On 9 July 2001, Cathay Pacific fired 49 of its 1,500 pilots, they are known as "the 49ers" (though total dismissals and downgrades subsequent totalled 62). Nearly half of the fired pilots were captains, representing 5 percent of the total pilot group. But of the 25 officers of the Hong Kong Aircrew Officers Association (HKAOA), 9 were fired, including four of the seven union negotiators." Citation added. Aviator006 (talk) 08:01, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
10. "19 former employees applied and 12 were offered jobs.", sentence should not begin with numerals, it should be spelled out as "Nineteen". Both numbers in the sentence updated to words as per WP:Numbers. Aviator006 (talk) 08:01, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
11. New York should be disambiguated to New York City. Re-wikilinked as [[New York City|New York]]. Aviator006 (talk) 05:18, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
12. Columbus should be disambiguated to Columbus, Ohio. Updated to Colombo. Aviator006 (talk) 13:27, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
13. The sentence "In 2006 Dragonair employed 3,894 employees, by March 2007 this figure was down to 2,745, by November 2008 this figure was down to 2,598 and by April 2009 this figure had been further cut to 2,490 (representing a 36% downsizing)." sounds awkward. Rephrased to "Prior to its acquisition, Dragonair had 3,894 employees worldwide, this was reduced to 2,745 by March 2007. This figure have since deteriorated by 147 to 2,598 employees in November 2008. As of 30 June 2009, Dragonair had 2,468 employees worldwide, representing a total reduction of 1,426 employees or 36.6% since the acquisition." Aviator006 (talk) 14:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
14. Awards should not be bolded. Un-bolded as per your suggestion. Aviator006 (talk) 16:57, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
15. The Awards section looks messy and should be properly formatted. Converted into a collapsible table. Aviator006 (talk) 16:57, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
16. Citation needed for "During the late 1980s and early 1990s, Cathay Pacific was the largest operator of the Lockheed TriStar outside the United States." Citation added. Aviator006 (talk) 03:29, 25 July 2009 (UTC)
17. "While Vietnam Air Caterers, a joint venture between CPCS and Vietnam Airlines, provides the inflight catering for Cathay Pacific flights from Ho Chi Minh City." is a sentence fragment. Joined up with previous sentence to form "CLS Catering Services Limited, a joint venture with LSG Sky Chefs, provides the inflight catering from Toronto and Vancouver airports; while Vietnam Air Caterers, a joint venture between CPCS and Vietnam Airlines, provides the inflight catering for flights from Ho Chi Minh City." Aviator006 (talk) 13:27, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
18. Citation needed for "These seats are being replaced with the New Economy Class seats on aircraft receiving the Cathay Pacific's new long-haul interior configuration." Citation added. Aviator006 (talk) 02:15, 25 July 2009 (UTC)
19. Citation needed for "Cathay Pacific has two loyalty programmes: The Marco Polo Club (The Club), the loyalty programme, and Asia Miles, the travel reward programme. Members of The Club are automatically enrolled as Asia Miles members." Citation added. Aviator006 (talk) 08:01, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
20. In sentence "The Marco Polo Club divided into four tiers, Green (entry level), Silver, Gold and Diamond, based on the member's past travel", add "is" after Marco Polo Club. Updated as per your suggestion. Aviator006 (talk) 05:18, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
21. "Higher tiered" should be hyphenated. Updated as per your suggestion. Aviator006 (talk) 05:18, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
22. "The entry level tier in the Marco Polo Club." is a sentence fragment. Add "The Green tier is" to the beginning of the sentence and replace "tier in" with "to". Updated as per your suggestion. Aviator006 (talk) 05:18, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
23. Combine the sentences "Asia Miles membership is free. Asia Miles membership is suspended after 36 months of inactivity, and can be closed without notice, once all remaining mileage credits have expired." Updated to "Asia Miles membership is free, however, membership will be suspended after 36 months of inactivity, and can be closed without notice, once all remaining mileage credits have expired." Aviator006 (talk) 08:01, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
24. "No fatalities reported." is a very short sentence that needs to be reworded. Updated to "Fortunately, there were no fatalities reported for the incident". Aviator006 (talk) 08:01, 24 July 2009 (UTC)

I am placing the article on hold. Dough4872 (talk) 17:05, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

All comments reviewed and updated in the article. Aviator006 (talk) 03:29, 25 July 2009 (UTC)

I will pass the article. Dough4872 (talk) 22:56, 25 July 2009 (UTC)