Talk:Cause and Effect (Star Trek: The Next Generation)/GA1

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Reviewer: Johanna (talk · contribs) 02:05, 30 March 2016 (UTC)Reply

Second on my "to review" list. Johanna(talk to me!) 02:05, 30 March 2016 (UTC)Reply

Comments
  • "who sought to write a different type of time travel related plot" different than what?
  • I would rephrase the first sentence of the third lead paragraph, possibly splitting it into two sentences.
  • There's no previous mention of the Bozeman, so please specify.
  • First sentence of production: remove "but"
  • "Cast member Frakes..." I would repeat his full name here without linking it. In addition "prepped for it" is a little vague.
  • Second sentence of that paragraph: use a verb other than "add" because there isn't an established topic yet.
  • "Following a discussion with the director of photography..." The current placement of this sentence is a little random, if you ask me. Also, put the subject first so it is clear you are not talking about Frakes.
  • "It had been planned" a better phrase would be "the crew planned"
  • I would specify if those novels are official or non-official, canon/non-canon.
  • Refs appear to be working correctly, and I do not have any concerns about the reliability of sources.

@Miyagawa: That's all for this article. Nice work so far! Johanna(talk to me!) 00:16, 3 April 2016 (UTC)Reply

@Johanna: Thanks for reviewing, I would have responded quicker but I got caught up in a couple of Welsh projects. I think I've made all the edits you've suggested. Miyagawa (talk) 16:55, 3 April 2016 (UTC)Reply