Talk:Charles Kanaʻina/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 07:04, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

Will review. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 07:04, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

Birth, early life and marriage

• Born Charles Kanaʻina Eia, circa 1801 at Napoʻopoʻo, Hawaii This is a fragment.  Done Copy edited sentence fragment.--Mark Miller (talk) 22:16, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

• We don't begin the article with "he", mention him by his full name and by his surname thereafter. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 05:22, 23 June 2016 (UTC)

• There is a page needed template  Done Old reference that lacked page number was removed as it was replaced some time ago but I wanted to try and save the reference. I can re-add it once the proper page number is located.--Mark Miller (talk) 22:21, 22 June 2016 (UTC)
• The 1st para looks rather listlike I am unclear what is being asked here.--Mark Miller (talk) 22:23, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

• I mean try to reword the 1st para so that not all lines appear in "X is Y" format, it looks repetitive and can be avoided. For example, the line His father was [Eia] Ka-makakaualii and his mother was Kauwa Palila could be merged into the first line to avoid the "X is Y" format. I think that should be enough to do away with the listlike look. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 05:22, 23 June 2016 (UTC) Done

• I am not sure the link for "drawn" is appropriate in an article.  Done Thank you for catching that. Another editor has done this on several pages. I agree it is not appropriate.--Mark Miller (talk) 22:27, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

• Thanks for letting me know. I think the links need to be fixed. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 05:22, 23 June 2016 (UTC)

• A visit to the South Seas "V" in capital  Done
• As each family member died, the lands were passed...dedicated and named after him. Source?  Comment: Yes, I have the source for this and need to get it onto the article. Sorry. Forgot about that. The Kamehameha Schools/Pauahi Foundation (worlds largest school trust) is recorded and sourced as being passed down from Kamehameha family members until it passed to Bernice. It's accurate but needs proper sourcing. I believe the source is already on the article I just need to find the page.--Mark Miller (talk) 22:32, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

Seems this is difficult to source in some parts. While Kanaina was the last of the original owners of what is now the Iolani Palace grounds, it isn't actually mentioned by a source outright that I can locate. I have found a direction to change to that has the proper context and is referenced. I'll get to that tomorrow. It will take a little research but the Kanaina family are all interred separately from the rest of the Royal family.--Mark Miller (talk) 07:06, 1 July 2016 (UTC) Done I changed it to a referenced mention of how the entire family is not buried with the rest of the royal family.--Mark Miller (talk) 07:29, 1 July 2016 (UTC)

Children

• Their first son, Davida Comma after "Davida". Same for natural son, William Charles Lunalilo' Done
• Inline explanation for hanai would help Done
• After the Great Mahele of 1848,...given to his mother by Kamehameha I. Source? Done I just removed that part as I added a referenced mentioned in another section.--Mark Miller (talk) 07:29, 1 July 2016 (UTC)

Death and legacy

• A Kanaʻina Avenue is also named for him, located at 21°16′16″N 157°48′48″W between Kapiʻolani Park and Diamond Head. Source?  Done Removed. I can't find a source for this and there are two different people with this name so, it may not be named after "Charles Kanaina".--Mark Miller (talk) 07:34, 1 July 2016 (UTC)

@Mark Miller: Please respond. If you don't respond by tomorrow it will be a week since your last response and I will have to fail this due to inactivity. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 10:41, 28 June 2016 (UTC)

Sorry. Been getting over heat exhaustion. I have not been regular on the internet for the last two weeks. I will return to this tomorrow.--Mark Miller (talk) 06:00, 29 June 2016 (UTC)

OK @Sainsf:, I think I finished what notes you had so far.--Mark Miller (talk) 07:34, 1 July 2016 (UTC)

Thanks for the changes, promoted. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 08:27, 1 July 2016 (UTC)