It's not terrible, but it certainly needs some work to get to GA standard, especially in some sections (the 2008 presidential election section being probably the most seriously in need of TLC). Specific points:
- The lead is too short - per WP:LEAD, an article of this size should have a lead of two or three paragraphs. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 07:05, 2 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- Besides being too short, the lead does not adequately summarize all aspects of the article. For example, the "Personal life", "2006 gubernatorial campaign", and "Political activity" sections are not covered at all in the lead, and the "Early political career" is barely touched upon. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 08:47, 2 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- The lead contains material not covered in the rest of the article, including the full name, birth date, distinction as the first cabinet official to be elected governor in 95 years, his record's resemblance to Jeb Bush's, and his eligibility to seek re-election. Ideally, all material in the lead should also be found elsewhere in the article; if you're going to deviate from this (limited deviation is permissible) you need to cite the information that isn't found elsewhere in the article. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 08:47, 2 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- Crist's name is overused throughout the article. Replace many occurrences of it with pronouns. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 05:08, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- There is inconsistency on the capitalization of positions (governor, attorney general, vice president, etc.) throughout the article. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 16:15, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "As governor, Crist has echoed his predecessor..." I'm not sure "to echo" is the right verb here. "Emulated"? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 05:08, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...generally conservative positions on a broad range of social issues..." Too many words. How about either "generally conservative positions on social issues" or "conservative positions on a broad range of social issues"? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 05:08, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...on fiscal management and environmental policy." How about just "fiscal and environmental policy."? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 05:08, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "He has been described as fostering better relationships with minority communities..." How about "He has been credited with..."? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 05:08, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "Though eligible under Florida law to seek a consecutive term as governor in the 2010 election cycle..." I don't think that a single thing can be "consecutive", and there are too many words in any event. I'd prefer "Though eligible to seek a second term in 2010..." Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 05:08, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "He is the second eldest child;" How about "He is the second of four children"? Just saying he's the second eldest child doesn't really provide any context. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 05:08, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "he has three sisters, Margaret Crist Wood, Dr. Elizabeth Crist Hyden, Catherine Crist Kennedy." I don't think the comma after "sisters" is the right punctuation there. Colon would work, as would a spaced endash or unspaced emdash. Also, you need an "and" in there. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 05:08, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- All of the children's names -- Charles, Margaret, Elizabeth, Catherine -- are classically Scot-Irish Presbyterian names. Seems like the Florida Crists like being Presbyterians in the deep South rather than Greeks -- but there is a big Greek enclave in, I believe, Tarpon Springs (?), just N of St Pete. WmMBoyce (talk) 08:16, 23 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "Gay rights groups protested the passage of Amendment 2 gay marriage ban..." "...the Amendment 2 gay marriage ban..."? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 05:08, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "In 1981, after graduating law school..." If "after graduating law school" is going to be used as a parenthetical, which seems to be the intent, it needs to be enclosed in two commas. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 05:08, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "... who he would in the future describe as his political mentor." "in the future" seems redundant. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 05:08, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- Florida Senate should probably be wikilinked somewhere. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 05:08, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "He established a reputation in the Senate as a law and order senator..." He was a senator in the Senate? Wouldn't have guessed. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 05:08, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...legislation to require..." "...requiring..."? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 05:08, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...serve at least 85% of their sentence..." sentences. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 05:08, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...created a license plate to raise funds for the Everglades." Not really clear what is meant here. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 05:08, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...then governor..." I think this should be hyphenated. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 05:08, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "Chiles later..." Later than what? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 05:08, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- It's not clear what is meant by "scare calls". Can this be wikilinked or explained? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 05:08, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...but stood for and was elected..." Seems redundant. Could he have been elected without standing? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 16:15, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...a position he held until 2003." Dangling modifier. Maybe reword to "...and held the position until 2003."? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 16:15, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "Beginning in 2003...the position of commissioner is filled by political appointment." Given the use of the present tense, this seems a little awkward to me. Maybe "As of 2003..."? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 16:15, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- Center for Missing and Exploited Children should probably be wikilinked. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 16:15, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...he ended further official attempts..." "Further" should probably go. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 16:15, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- 'N Sync and Backstreet Boys could use wikilinks. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 16:15, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...currently serving a 25 year sentence..." I'd remove "currently"; time-specific terms should be avoided when possible, and this one doesn't seem to add anything. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 16:15, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...during the term of prior attorney general Bob Buttersworth." Suggest rewording this. "...under Crist's predecessor, Bob Buttersworth." maybe? I'm not sure what would be best. As well, I'd suggest wikilinking Bob Buttersworth, even if he doesn't have an article yet, unless you think it unlikely that one will ever be created. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 16:15, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "Her successer in the position..." Remove "in the position" as redundant. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 16:15, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "During his gubernatorial campaign, Crist's campaign manager..." This reads as though this was during the gubernatorial campaign of Crist's campaign manager (a possessive can't be an antecedent). Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 16:15, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...while the Ukrainian official's fee was paid by another guest." Unclear what this means. Was the fee originally supposed to have been paid by Crist? That seems counter-productive, given that it was a Crist fundraiser. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 22:02, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "Further controversy set in, however, when ethics complaints were filed against Crist..." A couple of things: first, I don't think "however" adds anything to this sentence. Second, while the passive voice is normally loved by me, here it might be better to say who filed these complaints, if it can be said succinctly. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 22:02, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...while Republican governors in some other states were rejecting portions of the federal stimulus package Crist spoke in favor of it and for Florida receiving its full measure." A comma is desirable after "package", I think, and I'm not sure that "measure" is the best word. "Share" or "portion", maybe? See what you think. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 22:44, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "Crist has supported separate efforts to ban gay marriage in Florida, and later signed a bill to that effect, and has also endorsed a prior (and in some respects unique to Florida[54]) ban on adoption by prospective gay parents - arguing that a "traditional family provides the best environment for children."" This is an extremely convoluted sentence (and I should know - I could easily have written it). Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 22:44, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "At the same time, he has appointed the majority of the members of the Florida Supreme Court..." It seems to me that "At the same time" implies some kind of contrast, which I don't see here. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 22:44, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "On other issues, Crist has departed from traditional Republican policy positions - particularly on environmental policy, an important issue in Florida." Hyphen should be a dash. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 22:44, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "Crist's orders would set new emissions targets for power companies, automobiles and trucks, toughen conservation goals for state agencies, and require state-owned vehicles to use alternative fuels." Faulty parallelism. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 22:44, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "Crist opposed offshore oil drilling a position he shared with California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger." Some punctuation needed (comma, dash or parentheses). Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 22:44, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "Later that month, in June 2008..." Saying "later that month" and then spelling out the month seems a little odd. If the previous comments were made in June 2008, which I presume they were, maybe move "in June 2008" to that sentence and just leave "Later that month" here. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 22:44, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "Crist hosted his first climate change summit in Florida." Is this the same summit as the one dealt with later in the paragraph? If so, it should probably be moved so the subject is dealt with in one place. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 22:44, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "in June 2008 Crist proposed that the State of Florida buy 187,000 acres of land for conservation," Seems unnecessarily wordy to me. Maybe just "...proposed buying..."? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 22:44, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...stemming from criticisms from those who believed votes were being undercounted..." How about just "...criticisms that votes..."? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 22:44, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...the health insurance reform efforts have been well received - standing next to former football star Dan Marino..." I'd change the hyphen to a period (and if you don't, it needs to be changed to a dash). As well, I'm sort of puzzled by Marino's involvement - does he have an autistic kid, or something? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 22:44, 3 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "Senator John McCain played a major role in Crist's 2006 campaign for governor - McCain endorsed Crist and traveled the state of Florida campaigning with him." Hyphen should be a dash, and there are some redundant words in there: I'd remove "2006" and "the state of". Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 23:31, 4 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "The day before the Florida general election, Crist chose to hold a campaign event with McCain in Jacksonville, Florida rather than attend a Pensacola, Florida rally with President George W. Bush." I'd suggest the removal of all three occurrences of "Florida" here. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 23:31, 4 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...were held in St. Petersburg, Florida..." This one too; I doubt the reader is going to think that the debates were held in Russia. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 23:31, 4 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "Crist physically embraced McCain and was observed as offering..." How about just "...and offered..."? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 23:31, 4 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...visiting Crist's hometown for the debate." I'd delete this. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 23:31, 4 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...in demanding that their state's delegates be seated at each party's convention." The apostrophe needs to move if this is saying what I think it's saying. I would also remove "...at each party's convention", which doesn't seem to add anything. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 23:31, 4 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...Crist publicly endorsed Senator John McCain in the Republican primary race" Since he's already been mentioned this section, I'd suggest reducing "Senator John McCain" to either "John McCain" or "McCain". I'd also suggest removing the word "race", which doesn't add much. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...gave McCain a leg up..." This strikes me as a touch colloquial for a Wikipedia article. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...along with Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal, and former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney..." No comma needed. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...a Memorial Day weekend at Senator John McCain's Sedona, Arizona home." Here it should definitely just be "McCain's". As well, can you attend a weekend? "...spent Memorial Day weekend...", maybe? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...for the presidential general election held on November 4, 2008." Shorten to "for the presidential election" or similar, and possibly add wikilink. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "The Governor did go on to participate in several campaign rallies several days later." You're hitting on one of my pet peeves here, the use of titles instead of pronouns. I think it makes you sound like a political aide (if you know any such people, you know that they constantly refer to "the candidate" or "the Minister" or what have you). I'd strongly suggest replacing with either "He" or "Crist", as appropriate. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...rather than animosity specifically between Crist and McCain." Maybe "...though not of animosity specifically between..."? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "Florida is a state that offers early voting to its constituents." By this point, the reader knows that Florida is a state. Accordingly, "...is a state that..." should probably go. "...to its constituents." should probably also go, since who else would it offer early voting to? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...record turnout of voters..." "...record voter turnout..."? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...while other election officials..." We're already talking about election officials, so this can be tightened to "...while others..." Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "Other journalists and photo-journalists..." "Photo-journalist" is a subset of journalist, so this reads oddly. I'd suggest rewording to "Journalists..." Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...that the race was tightening in Florida." When I read this I asked myself "which race?" While it's arguably clear from context (it is in the section about the 2008 presidential race, after all), my preference would still be to add the word "presidential". Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "On October 31, 2008 Crist appeared in a McCain-Palin web ad..." The style elsewhere in this article has been to put a comma after 2008. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...endorsing the senator." What else would he have been doing appearing in their ad, denouncing them? I'd suggest eliminating this. And if you don't, see my earlier wrath towards referring to people by their titles. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "Crist abruptly left a poorly-attended McCain rally in Tampa on the last day of the race and Crist was a no show at..." Since Crist is already the subject of the sentence, just delete the second occurrence of his name. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "After the resounding Democratic Party win of the 2008 election, where the presidency, along with several house and senate seats were won by Democrats..." Far too wordy. I would prefer simply "After the Democratic Party's resounding win in the 2008 election..." but if you feel the need to specify race, how about "After the Democratic Party's resounding win in the 2008 presidential, House, and Senate elections..."? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "She offered her first press conference since joining the McCain ticket at the post-election RGA meeting..." Wordy. Tighten to something like "This was her first press conference since joining the McCain ticket, and she received..." Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...and they openly discussed the split in the Republican Party (GOP)..." How about replacing "and" with "in which"? As well, I would remove both "openly" (things discussed in media interviews are obviously being discussed openly) and "(GOP)". Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "...over the issue of where to direct the party's next efforts to gain more voters." Wordy. "...over where to direct its efforts to increase its voter base." Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "In April 2009, Crist became one of the subjects in Kirby Dick's documentary Outrage..." "Crist was one of the subjects of Kirby Dick's April 2009 documentary, Outrage..." Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "This led many in the press to speculate about the veracity of the claims in the documentary and also publicly debate Crist's right to privacy." Oh my. "This led to a public debate about Crist's sexual orientation and right to privacy."? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "Political analysts also debated what the appropriate tactical response from Crist should be..." The word "tactical" was just in the previous sentence. How about "Political analysits also debated Crist's best response..."? Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "Crist announced May 12, 2009 that he will not run for re-election as governor in 2010, and instead will run for the US Senate in 2010." Too many occurrences of "2010"; I'd delete one. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
- "Some opponents in the senate race include fellow Republican Marco Rubio [147][148] and Democrat Kendrick Meek" This needs a period. Steve Smith (talk) (formerly Sarcasticidealist) 00:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)Reply
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