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Talk:Cheetah/GA1

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Latest comment: 8 years ago by Sainsf in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 8 years ago37 comments4 people in discussion
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Reviewer: Dunkleosteus77 (talk · contribs) 03:45, 2 May 2016 (UTC)Reply


Comments by Dunkleosteus77

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Specific comments

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  • I don't think the subdivisions are necessary in the Social organisation and Home range and territories sections
  • rename the Diet and hunting section to Diet and (competition/competitors) or Hunting and (competition/competitors), then remove the subdivision Competitors (don't remove the info just the subdivision)
I was advised by DrChrissy to keep the subsections; I initially opposed it, but over time I feel they have made navigation easier. About the renaming, I am not sure, as the section describes both, and the heading has remained so for years. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 04:09, 2 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
I have been told before that I create too many subsections when I am editing. I guess this is part of my editorial style. In this case, I would follow the reviewer's recommendations. DrChrissy (talk) 13:43, 2 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
OK, done. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 08:27, 4 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • rename the Reintroduction attempts in India to In Asia and add a paragraph about the Asiatic cheetah if possible (because it's current status and conservation are not talked about)
OK, will see what I can add and then rename it. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 04:09, 2 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
There is not much significant material apart from the reintroduction attempts in India, but I managed to add a short para on attempts by Iran. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 10:09, 4 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • the leopard picture just seems unnecessary
  • there's text-sandwhiching in the Characteristics section, I suggest removing the leopard picture and move the image on the right-side down
Done for the leopard, but I think the whole-body image (right) should go to the left and the profile (left) to the bottom right. How would that be? Sainsf (talk · contribs) 04:11, 2 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
Actually, since the cheetah in the profile (left) image is looking to the right (towards the text), I think it should stay on the left side. Same goes for the whole-body (right) image
Done. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 08:27, 4 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • is the plural of "cheetah" "cheetahs" or "cheetah"?
I have seen both, I consistently use "cheetah" in the article but if there is a good reason to say "cheetahs" instead I would be happy to change this. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 09:03, 4 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
On second thoughts, I feel "cheetahs" is less confusing. So I have changed it to "cheetahs" wherever applicable. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 07:41, 6 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
you missed a few. Here's one: "Black cheetah have been observed..."
  • "hunting is the major activity" by activity do you mean that's how they spend most of their energy? It's not how they spend most of their day, right?
Actually I mean it is the main activity they indulge in throughout the day, I do not mention anything about the energy consumption. The first meaning could be apparently true, but that would be OR and I don't have proper sources for this. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 09:15, 4 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • change "territoriality" to "territorial behaviour" (optional)
There are two instances of this: Adult males are typically gregarious despite their territoriality and A 1987 study of the social organisation in males showed that territoriality ... I feel the term should be kept intact in the first instance as it is more compact and linked as well. We can say "territorial behaviour" in the second case where it appears more proper and simpler to me. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 09:15, 4 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • is there a difference between savannahs and grasslands?
Some sources mention them separately, but savannahs are actually a type of grassland. Removed "grassland". Sainsf (talk · contribs) 08:50, 4 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • Could you add more about the convergent evolution between wolves and cheetahs? All I see is 'they both can't retract their claws, so they're examples of convergent evolution' (this is an extreme claim with only one similarity)
I researched a bit more. I found a book source that says cheetahs resemble canids in behaviour as well as morphology, so I have added a few words from this. I could not find more on this, though. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:21, 23 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • Is there any reason why cheetahs are always alert? I assume it's because of all the other bigger carnivores that could be nearby
That should be it, as those predators often steal their prey and harm their cubs. It should become apparent as one reads the Ecology section. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:21, 23 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • are there any hypotheses as to why the cheetah went extinct in its prehistoric range?
The source (ref. 16) says an abrupt extinction after the last glacial retreat extirpated ∼40 species of large mammals, including cheetahs and pumas from North America. This was to be expected, as the glaciation caused major climatic changes that some species could bear while some could not. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:21, 23 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • shouldn't Conservation measures be a subheading under Interactions with humans?
Not sure. I have always kept them separate, whenever I have written both sections, in my articles. WP:MAMMAL does not seem to have a clear consensus on these matters as far as I understand. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:21, 23 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • in the Taming section it says cheetahs are sociable, but the Ecology and behaviour section says cheetahs stay alone
That is what the source says. In Ecology it is noted that lions and cheetahs are perhaps the most sociable among the big cats, though why lions are still unfriendly to humans I don't know. And not all cheetahs stay alone, it is just the females. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:21, 23 May 2016 (UTC)Reply

General comments

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  • change "white forms" to "albinos: (if they have the usual albino characteristics)
Done Sainsf (talk · contribs) 05:19, 2 May 2016 (UTC)Reply

Many thanks for taking on this, will try my best. Cheers, Sainsf (talk · contribs) 04:09, 2 May 2016 (UTC)Reply

  • change "...black, solid spots" to "...solid black spots" or "...solid-black spots"
  • change "...includes large cats such as lion, tiger and leopard" to "...includes large cats such as lions, tigers and leopards" or "...includes large cats such as the lion, tiger and leopard"
  • change " 0.5 million years ago" to "half a million years ago"
Done all the above. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 08:41, 4 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • ...as in any other felid, save for the ocelot and the margay...", also it seems unnecessary to say this
Fixed
  • replace Salisbury and Rhodesia with their current-day names
I feel the old names should stay to be specific, I am not sure how much the borders have changed. The modern names are there alongside.
the old British names are actually less specific, for example Rhodesia was Zimbabwe, Zambia, and Malawi (also there was a west and east Rhodesia)
Done. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 05:45, 23 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • change "...taller than the leopard, that stands..." to "...taller than the leopard, which stands..."
  • change "...with that of the leopard, that weighs..." to "...with that of the leopard, which weighs..."
  • change "...contrast to the underbelly, that is..." to "...contrast to the underbelly, which is..."
  • "...the leopard is marked with rosettes while the cheetah with spots...the leopard has rose-like spots instead of the small round ones of the cheetah" these say exactly the same thing
  • what does "...the relatively earlier truncation of the development of the middle phalanx bone..." mean? Is it referring to the development of foetuses or is it saying the bone truncates at a young age?
  • change "...while that of jaguarundi is different" to "...while that of the jaguarundi is different" or "...while that of jaguarundis is different" (but for the second one you have to make the entire sentence plural)
  • wikilink 'dental formula'
  • merge "Absence of protection makes the claws blunt" with "However, the large and strongly curved dewclaw has remarkable sharpness"
  • change "Cheetahs are diurnal (active mainly during the day), whereas the leopard, tiger and lion are nocturnal" to "Cheetahs are diurnal (active mainly during the day), whereas the leopards, tigers and lions are nocturnal"
Fixed the rest. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:48, 15 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • change "...most conspicuous in cheetah than other cats" to "...most conspicuous in cheetahs than other cats"
  • change "The churr, is staccato..." to "The churr is staccato..."
Done. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 17:35, 17 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • "Each oestrus lasting one to three days" is a fragment
  • change "the cubs might be purr as the mother licks..." to "the cubs might purr as the mother licks..." or "the cubs might be purring as the mother licks..."
  • change "In the prehistoric times" to "in the Pleistocene" (if it is referring to the Pleistocene)
The source does not clarify what "prehistoric" means here, so did not change.
  • you inconsistently use 'percent' and '%'
Now "%" everywhere
  • change "of cheetah" to "of cheetahs" or "of the cheetah"
  • change "...space for the habitat would have to be compromised with in most cases" to "...space for the habitat would have to be compromised within most cases" or "...space for the habitat would have to be compromised with most cases"
  • change "At the same time it needs to be ensured that the animals are not unnecessarily handled or disturbed" to something like "At the same time the animals cannot be unnecessarily handled or disturbed" because it sounds like an opinion with 'needs to be <verb>'
Agreed, but changed "cannot" to "should not", which sounds more proper to me.
  • change the last paragraph of the In Africa section to "Benin (2014), Botswana (2007), Chad (2015), Ethiopia (2010), Kenya (2007), Mozambique (2010), Namibia (2013), Niger (2012), South Africa (2009), South Sudan (2009), Tanzania (2013), Zambia (2009) and Zimbabwe (2009) have formulated action plans for the conservation of the cheetah (as well as the wild dog)", you can leave out the part about the wild dog
Fixed all of the above. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 03:55, 19 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • change " "panther"s " to " "panthers" "
  • change "...occurred in 51% alive females" to "...occurred in 51% of females alive" or "...occurred in 51% of living females"
  • change "Another study concluded that excess of vitamin A in diets and the liver could result in veno-occlusive disease" to "Another study concluded that excess of vitamin A in their diets could result in veno-occlusive disease in their livers" or "Another study concluded that the excess of vitamin A in the diet could result in veno-occlusive disease, a disease of the liver"
Done the above. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 16:03, 20 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • change "...the Greek god Bacchus (Dionysus)" to "...the Greek god Dionysus" (optional)
I found both names in the sources. I think we should make it clear that both names refer to the same god. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 16:03, 20 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
since Dionysus is the more well-known name, put "Bacchus" in parentheses
Done. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:45, 21 May 2016 (UTC)Reply

References

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  • The OCLC number for ref no. 5 is 62896389
Added, thanks.
  • the template {{public access}} means that the entire article is available for free online which means there should be a url. ref no. 16 does not have a url, but it does have the public access sign
The URL goes just where the DOI does, the full article. Should I repeat it in the URL parameter?
yes
Done. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 05:26, 6 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
Done.
  • when do you use the {{open acess}} tags?
When I get the free text. Notify me or feel free to change the formatting if I go wrong or miss something.
does this apply for books too (ie., google book free previews)? Also, make sure that every journal with a url has this tag (I see ref no. 79 doesn't have one but I haven't gone through all the refs yet)
Not sure about books, so I made it consistent such that only journals and reports with the full PDF/HTML have it. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 18:10, 17 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
You mean ref. 60? Done.
  • for ref no. 61, the doi is a deadlink (but the url is fine)
Added a "doi-broken" parameter.Sainsf (talk · contribs) 07:10, 15 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
Done all the above. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 18:10, 17 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
Done. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 03:58, 19 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
Thanks, all done. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 16:59, 20 May 2016 (UTC)Reply


Note: An administrator, Diannaa, has removed copyvio content added by another editor from the article, so I will have to redo some of the changes I have marked as "done". Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:17, 18 May 2016 (UTC)Reply

I am pretty sure your changes should remain intact, as all I did was remove one copyvio paragraph. — Diannaa (talk) 12:45, 18 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
Oh, thanks Diannaa. I am new to this procedure, will remember that. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 12:56, 18 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
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